Click here for Bad Advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how to whistle. My kitty is sitting on my chest trying to teach me, I think. But his farts smell really bad. And I think he is making fun of me behind my back. What should I do?

Turn around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how to whistle. My kitty is sitting on my chest trying to teach me, I think. But his farts smell really bad. And I think he is making fun of me behind my back. What should I do?

Turn around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I deal with aging? I am in pretty good shape but feel like my eyes are shriveling.

Blow up balloons every day. The blowing motion makes your eyes bigger and plumper. You need to blow 100 a day minimum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I weigh about 300 lbs and looking for a good pair of yoga pants to wear on my snack run to Wal-Mart. Any suggestions?

Lululemon size XS. And if it’s too tight, tie them to tailor it. They offer free tailoring.

[Anonymous]

DH is on a work trip and left me to take care of the dog. I'm too lazy to walk it so I just opened the door in the morning and at night but after the third night she didn't come back. That was 5 days ago and I never got around to calling the pound. DH is due home tomorrow. Can I just steal someone else's black lab and get away with it?

[Anonymous]

I’ve just diagnosed my partner as being ‘on the spectrum’. Because we often argue and he’s just over me.
How do I
1. Keep up the storyline that spectrum = bad behavior
2. Find a support group for other partners such as myself- who are blameless AND undercover doctors?
3. Continue to blast my partner- in front of my kids? Because if they really do have ASD- so do my kids, and I want to make sure they know ‘spectrum’ = bad choices & behavior!

[Anonymous]

It was found that the sperm from the fertility clinic came from my own father. My child is, well, weird looking: only one eye in the middle of the head, drools uncontrollably, crooked teeth and crooked feet. Should I start my own reality TV show? I really enjoyed Honey-Boo-Boo and maybe my child could bring in some money to afford another trip to the clinic but not THAT clinic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is on a work trip and left me to take care of the dog. I'm too lazy to walk it so I just opened the door in the morning and at night but after the third night she didn't come back. That was 5 days ago and I never got around to calling the pound. DH is due home tomorrow. Can I just steal someone else's black lab and get away with it?

Steal a white dog and tell him the dog got old. Then a few weeks later you can return it and tell him the doggie went to the rainbow bridge because it was so old.

[Anonymous]

I do 50.1% of the household work but STBXH does only 49.9% Can you recommend a good divorce lawyer and also a therapist to deal with the fallout of this inequitable marriage? I cannot believe I married such an inconsiderate jerk who won't do his fair share of the workload.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is on a work trip and left me to take care of the dog. I'm too lazy to walk it so I just opened the door in the morning and at night but after the third night she didn't come back. That was 5 days ago and I never got around to calling the pound. DH is due home tomorrow. Can I just steal someone else's black lab and get away with it?

Get a lawyer because your DH is going to divorce you over this.

[Anonymous]

I forgot it was the Fourth of July and we have no plans and no fireworks and I feel like a slightly bad mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was found that the sperm from the fertility clinic came from my own father. My child is, well, weird looking: only one eye in the middle of the head, drools uncontrollably, crooked teeth and crooked feet. Should I start my own reality TV show? I really enjoyed Honey-Boo-Boo and maybe my child could bring in some money to afford another trip to the clinic but not THAT clinic.

It's not your fault or your dad's fault. Pick what channel you want your reality show to be on, like TLC, and write a letter to them, with a picture of your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I forgot it was the Fourth of July and we have no plans and no fireworks and I feel like a slightly bad mom.

That's horrible. We're going to have hot dogs tonight (without buns) and I just boiled potatoes for potato salad. I took my kids on an outing for 20 minutes until one kid started crying. Tonight we're going to listen to fireworks from inside the house. I'm such a better mom than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do 50.1% of the household work but STBXH does only 49.9% Can you recommend a good divorce lawyer and also a therapist to deal with the fallout of this inequitable marriage? I cannot believe I married such an inconsiderate jerk who won't do his fair share of the workload.

He sounds great. Stay married to him. My STBX only does 2% of the housework.

[Anonymous]

Can you recommend a place in the eastern time zone within a day's drive where I can buy a cheap summer house that doesn't have summer heat, humidity, or mosquitoes?