4 students in University of Idaho, killed in their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

He would have been accepted somewhere else and 4 other students would have ended up dead. Has nothing to do with the AO decision. By that way if thinking it was the AO who accepted intuba masters program somewhere else because if he didn’t get in there he wouldn’t have gotten into a PhD program. You can play that game forever. It’s no one’s fault but the cold blooded killer’s.

I just knew someone would have this rejoinder. Doesn't matter if some other school would have accepted him or he killed 4 other people. If I was the AO who brought him to WSU, I would know for sure that THOSE 4 students would be slive...and that would suck.

ITA. DP poster here. I feel like there are some that like to think nothing would have helped, because then no one would be responsible. I'm certain if anyone actually interviewed this student, they would see - except in that case, his parents would probably be trying to come at someone with pitchforks, regardless. Damned if you do, damned if you don't - but the parents are his own worst enemy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

Most college age children are good judges of character, and know when something is 'not quite right" with a fellow student.

We are never going to be able to over ride the confidentiality laws - so teach your child to be a good judge of who is who, to trust their gut, to get out of a situation, to create distance, and to communicate with at least administration and family.

I do not agree that we should all bear the burden of the troubled kids - but how do you think they got to where they are? The troubled kids did not become troubled with involved, selfless parents who care about them.

Can you point me to some studies that show how parenting is the root cause of mental illness? Thanks.

You do realize that mental illness is, more often than not, hereditary, don't you?? They used to think a lot of things were hereditary. It’s now being realized that growing up in that environment maybe more of a factor than genetics. ( adoptive parent)

Thanks.

Schizophrenia is likely not going to be halted
even in a nuturing environment.

[Anonymous]

*alive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering about his hometown and where he grew up and if he were noted as troubled and weird at a younger age.

Any info about him growing up?

seems very normal family, two sisters that are therapists, mom actually posted about tragedy of uvalde and against guns and for mental health resources.
no info on dad
fellow phd student said maybe he seemed socially awkward but nothing stood out.

Where are you seeing this? [b]God his poor family.[/b]

+1 Yes. No privacy any longer. Their work addresses and names are out there.

No, the poor families for those four victims. Could care less about his family and no I do not believe for one moment they did not know something was up with this freak show.

PP here. I agree that the parents likely knew something was amiss with him, but often families don't realize the degree of pathology.

There’s often not much families can do without the kid’s cooperation after 18.

True. Our laws need to be changed. Too many people walking aroubd freely when they need monitoring or possibly longterm hospitalization.

There is no such thing anymore. Remember? We closed all the asylums. There is truly no where for those people loved ones are concerned about to go- until after a crime is committed

The vast, vast majority of mentally ill people do not commit murder. Locking people up who seem "weird" isn't the solution. We don't even know if people thought this guy was weird.

People with mental illnesses tend to be disproportionally the victims of violence, not perpetrators. And the people who come off as "weird" to a lot of people tend to be people with some level of autism. "Weird" doesn't equal dangerous. Sociopaths and psychopaths can be quite charming and socially adept.

+1

I'm so damn tired of people trying to explain away violent men. No, it's not mental illness. No, it's not because they were bullied. It's because they felt entitled to slaughter other humans due to their own fragility. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

Most college age children are good judges of character, and know when something is 'not quite right" with a fellow student.

We are never going to be able to over ride the confidentiality laws - so teach your child to be a good judge of who is who, to trust their gut, to get out of a situation, to create distance, and to communicate with at least administration and family.

I do not agree that we should all bear the burden of the troubled kids - but how do you think they got to where they are? The troubled kids did not become troubled with involved, selfless parents who care about them.

Can you point me to some studies that show how parenting is the root cause of mental illness? Thanks.

You do realize that mental illness is, more often than not, hereditary, don't you?? They used to think a lot of things were hereditary. It’s now being realized that growing up in that environment maybe more of a factor than genetics. ( adoptive parent)

Thanks.

Schizophrenia is likely not going to be halted
even in a nuturing environment.

There are treatments and medicines. Several successful ones. It is 2022.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

Most college age children are good judges of character, and know when something is 'not quite right" with a fellow student.

We are never going to be able to over ride the confidentiality laws - so teach your child to be a good judge of who is who, to trust their gut, to get out of a situation, to create distance, and to communicate with at least administration and family.

I do not agree that we should all bear the burden of the troubled kids - but how do you think they got to where they are? The troubled kids did not become troubled with involved, selfless parents who care about them.

Can you point me to some studies that show how parenting is the root cause of mental illness? Thanks.

You do realize that mental illness is, more often than not, hereditary, don't you?? They used to think a lot of things were hereditary. It’s now being realized that growing up in that environment maybe more of a factor than genetics. ( adoptive parent)

Thanks.

Schizophrenia is likely not going to be halted
even in a nuturing environment.

There are treatments and medicines. Several successful ones. It is 2022.

PP here. I'm fully aware. There's still a strong genetic basis and manifestation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

Most college age children are good judges of character, and know when something is 'not quite right" with a fellow student.

We are never going to be able to over ride the confidentiality laws - so teach your child to be a good judge of who is who, to trust their gut, to get out of a situation, to create distance, and to communicate with at least administration and family.

I do not agree that we should all bear the burden of the troubled kids - but how do you think they got to where they are? The troubled kids did not become troubled with involved, selfless parents who care about them.

Can you point me to some studies that show how parenting is the root cause of mental illness? Thanks.

You do realize that mental illness is, more often than not, hereditary, don't you?? They used to think a lot of things were hereditary. It’s now being realized that growing up in that environment maybe more of a factor than genetics. ( adoptive parent)

Thanks.

Schizophrenia is likely not going to be halted
even in a nuturing environment.

There are treatments and medicines. Several successful ones. It is 2022.

PP here. I'm fully aware. There's still a strong genetic basis and manifestation.

Does it matter? If your kid needs help - get him help! You don't sit there and point fingers - you get him help. You are the parent. You.

[Anonymous]

No no no. We don’t get to just said he was bullied. Girls in high school didn’t want to hang out with him and called him a creep. Because he was a creep and they knew that something was off. They didn’t owe him anything and it’s just wrong to suggest they could have appeased him by giving him the attention he wanted. Women are not there to appease predators. Enough already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine how awful you would feel if you were the AO who approved this guy's application to WSU. Obviously, none of this is the AO's fault, but you couldn't help but feel that if you had rejected his application for the PhD program, those four people would be alive right now. I would need therapy if I had been the one to approve his ap.

Due to confidentiality laws about mental illness, any of our children are vulnerable. You never really know a classmate's or roommate's history. Can be very scary.

The confidentiality laws are really irrelevant. If you think there is an issue with your child, get them help STAT. If you think there is an issue with another child, distance might be the answer.

In either situation, the issue is if you feel that there is a potential dangerous situation, report, report, report. Trust your gut.

The problem arises when parents "cry wolf" of "bullying" in retaliation for their child being rebuffed - pointing fingers (and refusing to get your child the professional help they so obviously need) is not solution, if you are deflecting from your own potentially dangerous child.

PP here.i disagree that confidentiality laws are irrelevant. Many college students are too young, naive, and inexperienced to recognize mental illness in a roommate or classmate or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Colleges and universities should be told, and our children should not be rooming or sitting in classes with seriously mentally ill individuals.

Most college age children are good judges of character, and know when something is 'not quite right" with a fellow student.

We are never going to be able to over ride the confidentiality laws - so teach your child to be a good judge of who is who, to trust their gut, to get out of a situation, to create distance, and to communicate with at least administration and family.

I do not agree that we should all bear the burden of the troubled kids - but how do you think they got to where they are? The troubled kids did not become troubled with involved, selfless parents who care about them.

Can you point me to some studies that show how parenting is the root cause of mental illness? Thanks.

You do realize that mental illness is, more often than not, hereditary, don't you?? They used to think a lot of things were hereditary. It’s now being realized that growing up in that environment maybe more of a factor than genetics. ( adoptive parent)

Thanks.

Schizophrenia is likely not going to be halted
even in a nuturing environment.

There are treatments and medicines. Several successful ones. It is 2022.

PP here. I'm fully aware. There's still a strong genetic basis and manifestation.

Does it matter? If your kid needs help - get him help! You don't sit there and point fingers - you get him help. You are the parent. You.

You are preaching to the choir.

[Anonymous]

As someone who was horrifically and terribly bullied as a child to a degree that authorities eventually got involved, I cannot tell you how much I despise you people who are misguidedly defending this a-hole because he was supposedly bullied.

I’m sure I experience far worse than this murderous jerk ever encountered and I’ve never once in my life wanted to kill anyone. You are excusing repugnant behavior by grouping this a-hole with people like me and you are flatly wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was horrifically and terribly bullied as a child to a degree that authorities eventually got involved, I cannot tell you how much I despise you people who are misguidedly defending this a-hole because he was supposedly bullied.

I’m sure I experience far worse than this murderous jerk ever encountered and I’ve never once in my life wanted to kill anyone. You are excusing repugnant behavior by grouping this a-hole with people like me and you are flatly wrong.

+1

PPs and those who are defending "but, but, but...he was bullied!!" have zero idea what bullying really means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no no. We don’t get to just said he was bullied. Girls in high school didn’t want to hang out with him and called him a creep. Because he was a creep and they knew that something was off. They didn’t owe him anything and it’s just wrong to suggest they could have appeased him by giving him the attention he wanted. Women are not there to appease predators. Enough already.

+1

Get your kid help, and stop making excuses for them. No one owes them anything - but you, the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering about his hometown and where he grew up and if he were noted as troubled and weird at a younger age.

Any info about him growing up?

seems very normal family, two sisters that are therapists, mom actually posted about tragedy of uvalde and against guns and for mental health resources.
no info on dad
fellow phd student said maybe he seemed socially awkward but nothing stood out.

Where are you seeing this? [b]God his poor family.[/b]

+1 Yes. No privacy any longer. Their work addresses and names are out there.

No, the poor families for those four victims. Could care less about his family and no I do not believe for one moment they did not know something was up with this freak show.

PP here. I agree that the parents likely knew something was amiss with him, but often families don't realize the degree of pathology.

There’s often not much families can do without the kid’s cooperation after 18.

True. Our laws need to be changed. Too many people walking aroubd freely when they need monitoring or possibly longterm hospitalization.

There is no such thing anymore. Remember? We closed all the asylums. There is truly no where for those people loved ones are concerned about to go- until after a crime is committed

The vast, vast majority of mentally ill people do not commit murder. Locking people up who seem "weird" isn't the solution. We don't even know if people thought this guy was weird.

People with mental illnesses tend to be disproportionally the victims of violence, not perpetrators. And the people who come off as "weird" to a lot of people tend to be people with some level of autism. "Weird" doesn't equal dangerous. Sociopaths and psychopaths can be quite charming and socially adept.

+1

I'm so damn tired of people trying to explain away violent men. No, it's not mental illness. No, it's not because they were bullied. It's because they felt entitled to slaughter other humans due to their own fragility. That's it.

+a million. This is about violence, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was horrifically and terribly bullied as a child to a degree that authorities eventually got involved, I cannot tell you how much I despise you people who are misguidedly defending this a-hole because he was supposedly bullied.

I’m sure I experience far worse than this murderous jerk ever encountered and I’ve never once in my life wanted to kill anyone. You are excusing repugnant behavior by grouping this a-hole with people like me and you are flatly wrong.

+1

PPs and those who are defending "but, but, but...he was bullied!!" have zero idea what bullying really means.

PP here.

Oh, these jerks know what bullying is. They’ve done it themselves for years. But they want to blame bullying because they are antisocial creeps who would rather blame literally everyone else in the world for their own bad behavior rather than looking inwards.

[Anonymous]

why are we spending page after page arguing about what caused him to commit these crimes? Is it so we can feel better about ourselves and our children and
be sure that they would never do this?

99.999999% of of schizophrenics, individuals with horrific abuse histories, products of horrible parenting, incels, weirdos, survivors of bullying, etc. etc. would never do this.
There are scores upon scores of each of those categories walking around their entire lives without ever hurting a soul.