Families would rather have daughters than sons

[Anonymous]

I have three boys, and love parenting them so much. It can be crazy and chaotic at times in my house, but we also have a ton of fun. My oldest is a teen now, and we are still very close and share a lot of interests. I will admit I was worried as a new mom about connecting with my son as he got older, but my experience now is that it’s very easy.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's what the article implies... that dads want to be "girl dads." I think it's more that *women* want to be "girl moms" and, as women have more and more say over family decisions, they are the ones who are pushing for the girls.

[Anonymous]

DCUM posters are hoping to have caretakers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the perception is that girls are easier to manage behaviorally. Im not saying that it’s true, but that is what people think.

Ask any teacher. Girls are easier to manage than boys. Boys can make up for it by being held back a year in school though.

The girls might be quieter but they are being ridiculously cruel and toxic to the other girls around them all day long with the looks, comments, gossip, sneering, put down, and sarcasm. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and the boys are infinitely easier and nicer to each other. The teachers are ignoring what they either don't see or claim not to see.

All the girls are being toxic to all the girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women want a daughter unless they are part of a subculture or ethnicity that views males as superior.

Indian American here. So thankful I have a daughter. Could not imagine what I would have done with a son.

"Can not imagine"

Parented him? Loved him?

I feel so sad for your daughter that you feel you'd be at such a loss with her had she had different chromosomes or genitalia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the girl moms are a bit much. I literally had one tell me ( a mom of only boys) that only girl's stay in touch after marriage and that my son was "just mine until marriage". What a horrible thing to say to a toddler mom.

Coworker told me the exact same thing. She is Asian and her son married a white women so she’s extra salty. She said “have fun being alone in your old age like me. Have a daughter while you still can.” Thanks lady!

[Anonymous]

Because women are kin keepers. Having a girl ups your odds that you will have someone holding the family ties together in 30 years. It is not a guarantee, of course. But culturally we have dumped a LOT at the feet of women and historically this has been part of it. Thus, most families who desire to have family ties stay strong for several decades realize they need women to help make it happen.

It's not absolute and of course there are plenty of times this isn't how it unfolds, but it's a theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the perception is that girls are easier to manage behaviorally. Im not saying that it’s true, but that is what people think.

Ask any teacher. Girls are easier to manage than boys. Boys can make up for it by being held back a year in school though.

The girls might be quieter but they are being ridiculously cruel and toxic to the other girls around them all day long with the looks, comments, gossip, sneering, put down, and sarcasm. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and the boys are infinitely easier and nicer to each other. The teachers are ignoring what they either don't see or claim not to see.

This. Schools, and many parents, often only see overtly aggressive or mean behavior. But girls engage in a lot of covertly unkind behavior that never gets addressed or even acknowledged because it's designed to fly under the radar. And then they gaslight each other by claiming the gossip, excluding, backhanded compliments, etc., were unintentional and that the girl who is hurt is merely oversensitive or misunderstanding. It's jaw dropping, watching this behavior that I would find abhorrent in a 40 year old woman and some of these girls seem to have mastered it intuitively and deploy it on playgrounds and in friend groups without a second though.

I spend a lot of time talking to my daughter about why this behavior isn't okay, how to avoid it, how to avoid doing it, whether and how to call it out, etc. It's hard because so much of it happens under the surface, just quietly enforcing hierarchies and undermining one another's sense of confidence without appearing to be doing anything at all. Wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the perception is that girls are easier to manage behaviorally. Im not saying that it’s true, but that is what people think.

Ask any teacher. Girls are easier to manage than boys. Boys can make up for it by being held back a year in school though.

The girls might be quieter but they are being ridiculously cruel and toxic to the other girls around them all day long with the looks, comments, gossip, sneering, put down, and sarcasm. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and the boys are infinitely easier and nicer to each other. The teachers are ignoring what they either don't see or claim not to see.

All the girls are being toxic to all the girls?

DP but basically: yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women want a daughter unless they are part of a subculture or ethnicity that views males as superior.

Disagree.

--mom of a son, who is not "art of a subculture or ethnicity that views males as superior."

Weirdo.

[Anonymous]

I do think there is a perception that, once grown/married, a girl will typically remain closer to her family and a boy is more likely to be closer to his wife's family. I am not sure why that stereotype exists, but that is the perception. So I think some people prematurely grieve a future they think is less likely to exist if they have a boy.

[Anonymous]

After suffering two miscarriages, which I realize people have had more, I was just happy to hear that the baby was doing great. I wouldn't trade my boys for anything.

[Anonymous]

Most people want both.

[Anonymous]

We have four adult daughters. Three are married. I will offer two comments to previous posters based on our experience.

1. It’s true that teen girls and sometimes adult daughters sometimes clash with their mothers in a way that boys don’t. We did with a couple of ours. But it’s typically temporary so long as the mother is a reasonably decent parent. A girl grows up and realizes that at times she was a PITA and that her mother did her best.

2. We see way, way more of our daughters and our grandchildren than their husbands’ families do. The husbands all get along with their families just fine but adult men just don’t make the same effort to see their families that women do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the perception is that girls are easier to manage behaviorally. Im not saying that it’s true, but that is what people think.

Ask any teacher. Girls are easier to manage than boys. Boys can make up for it by being held back a year in school though.

The girls might be quieter but they are being ridiculously cruel and toxic to the other girls around them all day long with the looks, comments, gossip, sneering, put down, and sarcasm. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and the boys are infinitely easier and nicer to each other. The teachers are ignoring what they either don't see or claim not to see.

All the girls are being toxic to all the girls?

Enough of the girls are being toxic to other girls that it creates a lot of social havoc. Don't act like you have no idea what girls are like.