Families would rather have daughters than sons

[Anonymous]

I think the perception is that girls are easier to manage behaviorally. Im not saying that it’s true, but that is what people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I’ve seen is that people are really dead set on having at least “one of each.” People will stop at 2 kids if they have a boy and a girl, but the couples I usually see going for 3+ are trying for a boy after 2 girls or a girl after 2 boys. And I feel like most of the time they just end up with 3-4 girls or boys anyway!

I'm currently pregnant with my second boy and I get "are you going to try again for a girl" from random people (not people I'm close to at all) all the time. It's honestly a bit weird.

I have 2 boys and it’s a rarity in my social circles. 2 girl families are also quite rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I’ve seen is that people are really dead set on having at least “one of each.” People will stop at 2 kids if they have a boy and a girl, but the couples I usually see going for 3+ are trying for a boy after 2 girls or a girl after 2 boys. And I feel like most of the time they just end up with 3-4 girls or boys anyway!

I'm currently pregnant with my second boy and I get "are you going to try again for a girl" from random people (not people I'm close to at all) all the time. It's honestly a bit weird.

I have 2 boys and it’s a rarity in my social circles. 2 girl families are also quite rare.

They aren't rare in my circle at all. I have no issue with two boys myself. My brother also has two boys.

[Anonymous]

I am unsure if this is true or not, I think people's desires around the sex of their kids is complex. For instance I (woman) kind of hoped for a boy because I had this idea that it's sometimes easier to be the parent who is not the same gender as your child, just anecdotally this seems true (girls often seem to fight with their moms and boys with their dads). But then I had a girl and was immediately thrilled and love having a girl and it feels like this is what I always wanted. I think I was probably going to love being a mom no matter what I had but it's easy to overthink before you know.

At the same time, if people do prefer having girls, I also notice this weird trend among some families where they are determined for their girls to behave as much like boys of prior generations as possible. I have heard many parents discourage their girls from liking pink or ballet or anything stereotypically feminine. I see an emphasis on sports and STEM for girls that isn't mirrored with boys -- people seem fine if a boy isn't sporty or seems more humanities interested, but if a girl isn't sporty or prefers reading to math, people sometimes view it as a problem to be fixed, like she must be expressing misogynist programming and those can't be her actual preferences.

So if there is a general preference towards girls, which I'm not sure there is, I also think there is a perverse trend of not wanting those girls to be too feminine. So like the ideal child is a girl who loves soccer and science, her favorite color is green, and she rejects princesses or makeup or anything deemed overly feminine.

[Anonymous]

If given a choice, around 80% of adoptive parents prefer a girl.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have a DD, DS, DD in that order. Our DS is just so much harder. He's not as loving or as helpful as the girls. He's also wilder and has more little boy energy. We're a bit more worried about shepherding him into adulthood. There is space in society for less ambitious women, but there isn't for less ambitious men. I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't want their dh to make equal or more money than they do. While we're very glad to have one of each, we were THRILLED that baby 3 was a girl and not a boy.

Also, as another anecdote, the moms I know who have only sons aren't as happy with their lives as those who have only daughters. They're all overwhelmed with how wild little boys are. Or they have leaned into "boy mom life." My closest friend can't stop talking about being a #boymom. Her boys are just insane and have taken over the house. Last time I was there for a BBQ and she had her sons peeing off the deck instead of going in to use the bathroom. She said it's because they trash the bathroom and pee on the floor and walls. (FFS, my son would never do that!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the perception is that girls are easier to manage behaviorally. Im not saying that it’s true, but that is what people think.

Ask any teacher. Girls are easier to manage than boys. Boys can make up for it by being held back a year in school though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a DD, DS, DD in that order. Our DS is just so much harder. He's not as loving or as helpful as the girls. He's also wilder and has more little boy energy. We're a bit more worried about shepherding him into adulthood. There is space in society for less ambitious women, but there isn't for less ambitious men. I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't want their dh to make equal or more money than they do. While we're very glad to have one of each, we were THRILLED that baby 3 was a girl and not a boy.

Also, as another anecdote, the moms I know who have only sons aren't as happy with their lives as those who have only daughters. They're all overwhelmed with how wild little boys are. Or they have leaned into "boy mom life." My closest friend can't stop talking about being a #boymom. Her boys are just insane and have taken over the house. Last time I was there for a BBQ and she had her sons peeing off the deck instead of going in to use the bathroom. She said it's because they trash the bathroom and pee on the floor and walls. (FFS, my son would never do that!)

Wow, you seem useless as a parent. Boys are different but not unmanageable. Grow up

[Anonymous]

Another thread bashing boys. How surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another thread bashing boys. How surprising.

+1 This has now become increasingly prevalent online and it's influencing how people think. At least two people said "I'm sorry" when they found out my second pregnancy was a boy.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys (9 and 11). They are rambunctious at times, but keeping them in sports and kicking them out of the house to ride bikes or jump on the trampoline helps with that.

They are also really cuddly, love reading, do well in school, help with laundry and chores (granted with a billion reminders), and are family-oriented. They have tons of friends, but also still want to do stuff with us like watch movies and play board games. One has ADHD, which can be challenging at times, but is improving with age and medication.

I’m not sure whether this will change at some point during the teen years, but I know teen girls can be tough too.

I think the thing that may make some parents prefer a girl is that there are a subset of boys that can be really wild, behaviorally challenging, struggle in school, etc. Not that this doesn’t happen with girls, but it seems more likely in boys (also higher incidence of neurodivergence). But plenty of boys are also really sweet kids and if you end up with those they are great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women want a daughter unless they are part of a subculture or ethnicity that views males as superior.

Indian American here. So thankful I have a daughter. Could not imagine what I would have done with a son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I’ve seen is that people are really dead set on having at least “one of each.” People will stop at 2 kids if they have a boy and a girl, but the couples I usually see going for 3+ are trying for a boy after 2 girls or a girl after 2 boys. And I feel like most of the time they just end up with 3-4 girls or boys anyway!

I'm currently pregnant with my second boy and I get "are you going to try again for a girl" from random people (not people I'm close to at all) all the time. It's honestly a bit weird.

I have 2 boys and it’s a rarity in my social circles. 2 girl families are also quite rare.

They aren't rare in my circle at all. I have no issue with two boys myself. My brother also has two boys.

I had two boys. So many of my kids' school friends were from two boy families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys inevitabl grow up to be addicted to violent video games, and then they turn into incels, after joining the manosphere on social.

Girls cant be part of the manosphere by definition.

You're an idiot. Apart from being a misandrist.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7 year old boy and he gets way wilder when his friend who is a girl comes over. But he's not insanely wild or destructive, he's fantastic about reading to himself or coloring as well, snuggly, cleans up when told, etc. I don't see hon being that harder than the girls his age. His brother is still a toddler and also not unusually wild.