DD terrified to go to school due to classmates behavior. How to proceed?

[Anonymous]

I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I’d move her to catholic school. The public schools prioritize the one over the many.

Public schools do not get to reject children with disabilities from enrolling. That's correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

Students aren’t allowed to leave the classroom without permission. They aren’t allowed to go to another room unsupervised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

Students aren’t allowed to leave the classroom without permission. They aren’t allowed to go to another room unsupervised.

backpack?

What is the school going to do about it though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

Students aren’t allowed to leave the classroom without permission. They aren’t allowed to go to another room unsupervised.

backpack?

What is the school going to do about it though?

Teacher chat likely initially. Asst Principal or Principal mtg at some point. Suspension later if it becomes a pattern.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry. We are all now held hostage but these kids that should not be in the mainstream classroom (and if you're a parent of one of these kids resisting moving your kid to a different environment because of "the least restrictive environment" BS please look at yourself and your choices)

I had a similar problem - my kid was anxious and upset because of similar behaviors to what you describe. Which honestly would also give me anxiety too if I had to deal with them at my office. See if they'll allow your child to wear noise canceling headphones during these meltdowns. It's not a perfect solution but it will help some while you work on trying to get your kid moved.

[Anonymous]

I am a veteran teacher. You need to first go over the principal’s head and complain to your school board member. Then you file a state complaint that your child is not able to receive FAPE, which is a free and appropriate public education, in this situation. I’d ask to have your child moved to another classroom immediately. You really have to go right to the top with this kind of thing to get results.

[Anonymous]

Teach your kid to stop internalizing another person's bad behavior. This is an important life lesson opportunity you have in front of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach your kid to stop internalizing another person's bad behavior. This is an important life lesson opportunity you have in front of you.

So you would be fine to sit in a work conference with a coworker who yells, throws things, and makes himself vomit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I forgot to add that a one-on-one is not a magic fix either. Most of ours come from an outside agency and don’t seem to have much training at all. Some make the situation worse. Lots of them are on their phones during the day.

My son was in a middle school gen ed science classroom with kids that needed a parapro. My kid was bored a lot because he needed a harder class. So he talked to his friend and didn't pay attention. He reported that the parapro spent time monitoring and scolding him instead of the assigned student. He said the assigned student watched episodes of "Family Guy" on the student's phone during class.

If it weren't for AP classes in high school, we might have had to leave our district.

When I was little, I asked to be promoted a grade in part due to a disruptive child in my kindergarten who was repeating. She ruined most of the group reading lessons. I did get promoted to 1st within a few weeks because I could already read late elementary level books. My mother advocated for me and was successful.

I’m not sure which story is more ridiculous but I’ll say the one who asked to moved to first grade because she could read well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (7) has become increasingly anxious about attending school due to a classmates behavior.

This boy was recently moved to her home room because his previous teacher (new grade) was overwhelmed and DDs current teacher is an experienced educator.

It’s been about 4 weeks and DD is so anxious and having super difficult nights and almost impossible mornings.

We’ve asked her numerous times if this child had ever done anything to her and she says no. It seems like she’d never been targeted but his behavior in itself is very triggering for her. She is highly sensative and not use to loud, overstimulating environments.

From what we’ve gathered his behaviors are generally massive meltdowns that include screaming, crying, throwing items and forcing himself to vomit. He had not reportedly been violent to any other students or teachers.

We spoke to her teacher about it and she seemed sympathetic and even frustrated by the situation but unable to do much. She does allow DD and a few other kids who get stressed out by his meltdowns to sit out in the hall when this student acts out.

We just don’t know how to proceed. Admin made it clear they won’t discuss the child with us which we understand. This is just starting to negatively impact her ability to learn and her at home behavior.

I do feel for this child and his family but my first priority is my child.

Has anyone been in this situation?

Private schools don’t take kids like that. Send your daughter there.

[Anonymous]

You need to document how this affecting your child. Email the teacher so it is in writing and explain your child isn’t sleeping and no longer wants to attend school. Ask the teacher how your child is doing in class. Is her work being affected, does she seem upset, etc. how often is she having to leave the room. Do not mention the other student, just focus on your child.

You need written documentation how it is affecting your child. The school will do nothing unless you have proof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're gossiping about this child to other parents? How nasty!!

Your child clearly has anxiety. Get her diagnosed, start the special education process so you can deal with her anxiety. It's only going to get worse and you should get the process for her anxiety accommodations rolling now.

A kid doesn’t have to have anxiety to be having problems sharing a classroom with a kid who screams, throws things, and forces themselves to vomit.

Right?! What sane person would *like* that environment?!

But OP's child is the only one refusing to go to school. THAT is difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catholic or Christian School

That has its own set of issues. Lots of bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. Honestly, I’d move my kid to Catholic school. I know you said you can’t afford it but I’d find a way. I moved my kid to Catholic school for other reasons but if a single parent teacher can find a way, so can you.

It is very difficult to get an aide for students like this. The documentation process takes forever in public school. The fastest I’ve ever seen a child get an aide at my school was nearly two years. First, you have to document all of the behaviors and then have an initial meeting. Then you have to order a functional behavioral assessment. Then you meet again to possibly develop a behavioral intervention plan. By then, the school year is over and start again the following year to work on getting a one-on-one.

I know a public school teacher that has her kids in Catholic school. I have specifically asked that my children not be placed in her class. I won't allow my children to be taught by such a hypocrite. That and she lives in our neighborhood and is just a nasty person.