DD terrified to go to school due to classmates behavior. How to proceed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you're gossiping about this child to other parents? How nasty!!

Your child clearly has anxiety. Get her diagnosed, start the special education process so you can deal with her anxiety. It's only going to get worse and you should get the process for her anxiety accommodations rolling now.

Other parents never, ever talk to each other about disruptive kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do finer ever instance. Document your child's school refusal based on the duration she is experiencing in class. Send to principal -'s asst principal and eventually above them. If enough learners complain, the school may do something about the disrupting kid.

Was that English?

[Anonymous]

Catholic or charter school is the answer. Public cannot kick this child out until they have literally tried everything and then it still takes years. Your kid is sensitive more than most to be honest and maybe you should look into some support for her but public is a shitshow with kids like this. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please document this early and often, OP. File a bullying form, and include doctor's notes reporting on her level of anxiety.

The school needs to gather a lot of evidence before pushing for a non-mainstream environment or suggesting other placements for these children. It partially relies on complaints from others parents to bolster its arguments.

My daughter was in such a situation in 4th grade in MCPS. Her classmate was ASD/ADHD and had terrible fits of rage. He would turn over tables, hit other children, etc. My daughter was seated next to him most days because she was reportedly a "calming influence". He never hit her, and indeed seemed to be soothed by her presence. But that didn't make it particularly comfortable for my daughter, seeing him hit other boys and throw stuff!

Eventually, after other families complained and the school had gathered enough documentation, he left before the end of the year. His parents were really nice, and had been actively trying to get him medication and psychiatric treatment since before the beginning of that school year. But it takes a long while to get seen by psychologists for in-depth evaluations, and a long while to see improvements while on medication (and there's often a period where different meds are tried before landing on the one combo that works)... so he was not appropriately regulated that year.

It's tough for everyone.

Wut. Why. There's no bullying. And they're seven. Don't be such a dipshit.

PP you replied. Don't insult me, I've got a lot more experience with this than you. My kids are now 20 and 15 and have seen it all in their public (and private schools - not the magic bullet some people seem to think it is!). The bullying complaint is appropriate, because OP's daughter feels threatened at school, but more importantly, the bullying forms are taken seriously by most schools. It's part of OP's arsenal to move the needle. This is not an attack on the child who is in psychiatric distress and lashing out. This child must be moved to a more appropriate placement and cannot stay where they are. So this is for the good of everyone.

The bullying part of the complaint is absolutely not valid.

A general complaint about disruptive behavior is very valid but lying about bullying as part of an "arsenal" is messed up and morally wrong.

[Anonymous]

I would see her pediatrician and get an evaluation to start. And then see if you can get a 504 for her anxiety and hopefully they start working with you, this is a sad situation all around.

(Also agree this is not bullying).

[Anonymous]

It’s really strange that the kid doesn’t have an aid.

More importantly is your child and her anxiety. You don’t want her to be burdened with anxiety so don’t make it a big deal. She will have to get used to a messy loud world. If she sees you agreeing with the anxiety she’ll think it’s normal. She might start to get anxiety at every little thing, every noise, every hyper group of kids. She needs to learn coping skills and then she won’t be so anxious thinking about school. Anxiety is a really unpleasant feeling and you want her to feel that as little as possible. The school should have a counselor that helps children deal with these scary incidents that happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're gossiping about this child to other parents? How nasty!!

Your child clearly has anxiety. Get her diagnosed, start the special education process so you can deal with her anxiety. It's only going to get worse and you should get the process for her anxiety accommodations rolling now.

Other parents never, ever talk to each other about disruptive kids.

I don't know why everyone is making this about the disruptive child. OP needs coping strategies for her child who is refusing to go to school because of her anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Yea, she may have anxiety, but she absolutely needs to be moved out of the class. I would be in daily contact with the principal until that happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't about the other child, this is about OP's child's special needs.

Oh please. Don’t gaslight OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're gossiping about this child to other parents? How nasty!!

Your child clearly has anxiety. Get her diagnosed, start the special education process so you can deal with her anxiety. It's only going to get worse and you should get the process for her anxiety accommodations rolling now.

A kid doesn’t have to have anxiety to be having problems sharing a classroom with a kid who screams, throws things, and forces themselves to vomit.

Right?! What sane person would *like* that environment?!

[Anonymous]

Catholic or Christian School

[Anonymous]

Since kids are clearly allowed to do whatever they want, tell her when he acts up to get up and go to the other teacher's room and participate in her class, and just refuse to go back. I actually doubt they would physically force her.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. Honestly, I’d move my kid to Catholic school. I know you said you can’t afford it but I’d find a way. I moved my kid to Catholic school for other reasons but if a single parent teacher can find a way, so can you.

It is very difficult to get an aide for students like this. The documentation process takes forever in public school. The fastest I’ve ever seen a child get an aide at my school was nearly two years. First, you have to document all of the behaviors and then have an initial meeting. Then you have to order a functional behavioral assessment. Then you meet again to possibly develop a behavioral intervention plan. By then, the school year is over and start again the following year to work on getting a one-on-one.

[Anonymous]

I forgot to add that a one-on-one is not a magic fix either. Most of ours come from an outside agency and don’t seem to have much training at all. Some make the situation worse. Lots of them are on their phones during the day.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar situation around a similar age at my kid’s ES. It was actually taken care of relatively quickly, but that may have had to do with volatility of the child and how it was impacting not just the class the child was in, but the whole school. Incidents were also happening outside of the classroom, at lunch, etc. As people said, document stuff, but if there are other kids who are also experiencing similar levels of anxiety, you can probably escalate it to a superintendent and they can get the process of going with getting an aide and seeing how that goes. Again, I don’t know the details and how serious the disruptive behavior is (in our case it was quite violent). I am sorry your child is experiencing this.