Asked mother not to share birth with others, she did anyway. Would you be upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First pregnancy (baby born Jan 2024) my mother was not involved at all. Basically I had asked her for an apology for something she did, she refused and "punished" me with silent treatment.

Second pregnancy (baby born Jan 2026) she wasn't much more helpful or involved but did bring food once. My parents are retired and she has a tendency to gossip. The one thing I did ask her was not to share details about my birth with other people. Or if she does, if she could at least ask husband and I first "hey do you mind if I share with X". She gave us her word. She never asked if she could tell anyone so we figured she was taking the request to respect our privacy seriously.

A couple days after the birth we got a "welcome baby" gift from one of my mom's friends. I texted her a nice but direct message asking why she shared after specifically promising she wouldn't. She did said sorry but from her tone it was very clear she wasn't really remorseful and was basically was talking to me like a toddler having a tantrum and it'll all blow over in 15 minutes.

My message was not super emotional but internally I am pretty upset and dissapointed in her. Am I being unreasonable?

So you wanted your mom not to tell anyone that you had a baby? Why? You sound obnoxiously dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Details of the birth” to me would be how long you labored, that you had an epidural, etc. Not that you had a baby.

You cannot keep a baby a secret and it’s kind of weird to try.

This. OP you seem out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I swear, reading replies on this site always makes me feel so disgusted. People are absolutely gross and repulsive when it comes to respecting others. I’m so thankful I’m not related or even friends with a single soul on this site. You have every right to feel upset about your mom obnoxiously over sharing. Like OF COURSE she knows she is sharing information that she is not entitled or allowed to share. I would put her on the most massive information diet and take the relationship very slowly. I have tons of family and friends and NONE of them share information about my family that would make me uncomfortable. People on this website are so freaking deranged.

First of all, RELAX.

Second of all, OP didn't say her mom obnoxiously over-shared, just that she informed someone that the birth had happened.

But seriously, relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd 100% be upset. Your mother lacks boundaries. She would be on an information diet at the least. If she can't commit to her word, she can find things out when the rest of the public does, which is at YOUR and only YOUR discretion.

Depends literally on what bad momma promised her preggo daughter NOT TO DO.
What was the exact request?
Details of birth or birth took place? Those are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First pregnancy (baby born Jan 2024) my mother was not involved at all. Basically I had asked her for an apology for something she did, she refused and "punished" me with silent treatment.

Second pregnancy (baby born Jan 2026) she wasn't much more helpful or involved but did bring food once. My parents are retired and she has a tendency to gossip. The one thing I did ask her was not to share details about my birth with other people. Or if she does, if she could at least ask husband and I first "hey do you mind if I share with X". She gave us her word. She never asked if she could tell anyone so we figured she was taking the request to respect our privacy seriously.

A couple days after the birth we got a "welcome baby" gift from one of my mom's friends. I texted her a nice but direct message asking why she shared after specifically promising she wouldn't. She did said sorry but from her tone it was very clear she wasn't really remorseful and was basically was talking to me like a toddler having a tantrum and it'll all blow over in 15 minutes.

My message was not super emotional but internally I am pretty upset and dissapointed in her. Am I being unreasonable?

You had the child, why does it matter? What a bizarre thing to be upset about - oh no, someone sent you a gift, the horrors!

[Anonymous]

Not everyone wants the whole of facebook knowing their personal life, especially when it's not the person sharing who's life it is! This doesn't make OP unhinged or deranged or whatever other insults pps have lobbed her way.

[Anonymous]

OP, get some help. You now have kids and you still are struggling with so much immaturity. Let's try and save the next generation. Good grief. I've read enough today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I swear, reading replies on this site always makes me feel so disgusted. People are absolutely gross and repulsive when it comes to respecting others. I’m so thankful I’m not related or even friends with a single soul on this site. You have every right to feel upset about your mom obnoxiously over sharing. Like OF COURSE she knows she is sharing information that she is not entitled or allowed to share. I would put her on the most massive information diet and take the relationship very slowly. I have tons of family and friends and NONE of them share information about my family that would make me uncomfortable. People on this website are so freaking deranged.

Drama llama has entered the chat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you’ve given birth within the past 18 days, have a 2 year old and you have the time and energy to be fixating on your mother telling someone that her daughter just had a baby?

You’re either a troll or just really immature. There’s nothing wrong with a grandmother sharing the birth of a grandchild. What is wrong with you?

…or more likely - completely hormonal and sleep deprived. Go to bed. Get a cup of coffee. Get off DCUM and go for a walk. I promise you will feel much better better.

Btw my mom did something similar to me - I asked her not to share because I lost my daughter’s twin. She went around saying what I tyrant I was wrong to boss everyone around. I just didn’t think it was anyone else’s business to ask about my dead baby. I stopped talking to her for like 6 mo because I just couldn’t handle her chaos and drama

[Anonymous]

It's not cool of your mom to disrespect your wishes, but unless you have a very particular and important reason not to share that you had a child (former stalker, public persona, etc...) it's a little precious and unreasonable to ask her to not share that she has a new grandchild.

Sounds like a dramatic family situation more than just one of you being in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

We asked our parents not to post anything on Facebook announcing our kids’ births until we had done so ourselves. We did not restrict their ability to tell others about the baby. We sent them pictures they could text to their siblings/close friends. This protected our privacy while also letting them share their excitement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First pregnancy (baby born Jan 2024) my mother was not involved at all. Basically I had asked her for an apology for something she did, she refused and "punished" me with silent treatment.

Second pregnancy (baby born Jan 2026) she wasn't much more helpful or involved but did bring food once. My parents are retired and she has a tendency to gossip. The one thing I did ask her was not to share details about my birth with other people. Or if she does, if she could at least ask husband and I first "hey do you mind if I share with X". She gave us her word. She never asked if she could tell anyone so we figured she was taking the request to respect our privacy seriously.

A couple days after the birth we got a "welcome baby" gift from one of my mom's friends. I texted her a nice but direct message asking why she shared after specifically promising she wouldn't. She did said sorry but from her tone it was very clear she wasn't really remorseful and was basically was talking to me like a toddler having a tantrum and it'll all blow over in 15 minutes.

My message was not super emotional but internally I am pretty upset and dissapointed in her. Am I being unreasonable?

Your baby's birth (your labor). Because she's certainly entitled to share details about your birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First pregnancy (baby born Jan 2024) my mother was not involved at all. Basically I had asked her for an apology for something she did, she refused and "punished" me with silent treatment.

Second pregnancy (baby born Jan 2026) she wasn't much more helpful or involved but did bring food once. My parents are retired and she has a tendency to gossip. The one thing I did ask her was not to share details about my birth with other people. Or if she does, if she could at least ask husband and I first "hey do you mind if I share with X". She gave us her word. She never asked if she could tell anyone so we figured she was taking the request to respect our privacy seriously.

A couple days after the birth we got a "welcome baby" gift from one of my mom's friends. I texted her a nice but direct message asking why she shared after specifically promising she wouldn't. She did said sorry but from her tone it was very clear she wasn't really remorseful and was basically was talking to me like a toddler having a tantrum and it'll all blow over in 15 minutes.

My message was not super emotional but internally I am pretty upset and dissapointed in her. Am I being unreasonable?

Why are you being so weird about this?

[Anonymous]

OP, I sort of get it because my MIL posted on social media a bunch of newborn baby pictures and name/ weight/ etc information about an hour after I’d given birth. I started getting all these texts from people to say congrats. Which was of course very kind. But I remember being like “how does everyone already know he was born? I’ve only been stitched up for about 5 minutes and haven’t even had the chance to share with anyone!” and my mother in law had the grace to at least sound embarrassed . It was no big deal in the end of course but in the moment it did upset me to not be able to be the one to share the news of my first baby with family and friends. Not to mention I hadn’t planned on social media pictures (she did take those down when my husband asked, without push back!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not cool of your mom to disrespect your wishes, but unless you have a very particular and important reason not to share that you had a child (former stalker, public persona, etc...) it's a little precious and unreasonable to ask her to not share that she has a new grandchild.

Sounds like a dramatic family situation more than just one of you being in the wrong.

Imagine being a relative or grandma's close friend and finding out grandma had been "hiding" a grandchild (or lying about whether it had been born) because OP didn't greenlight the news.