Asked mother not to share birth with others, she did anyway. Would you be upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man was here saying he wanted to keep a surgery private no one would bat an eye.

By the way some people like to keep a birth private so they can enjoy a few weeks of quiet with the baby.

Only a man would equate having a baby to having surgery. A also gift doesn't take away the joy or disrupt the "peace" of the first few weeks. Tell us you have never had a baby without telling us.

[Anonymous]

Just don't tell anyone yourself. And decline any gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sharing the birth would mean "Larla got 2 hemorrhoids and had a 4th degree tear. She also pooped."

You're upset that grandma announced to her best friend that her new grandchild was born!?!?

Yes because op asked her to keep it private. It’s not the grandmothers story to tell. But I guess you’d think otherwise since probably you see women as having no agency over their own body and no right to make their own decisions or express their own wishes. Got it.

[Anonymous]

It was no hardship for the grandmother to keep this information private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sharing the birth would mean "Larla got 2 hemorrhoids and had a 4th degree tear. She also pooped."

You're upset that grandma announced to her best friend that her new grandchild was born!?!?

Yes because op asked her to keep it private. It’s not the grandmothers story to tell. But I guess you’d think otherwise since probably you see women as having no agency over their own body and no right to make their own decisions or express their own wishes. Got it.

Unless you are OP you, and all of us do not know precisely what bad grammy promised not to do. OP used "details" and if she included that...hence the varying opinions. Imprecise language breeds feuds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sharing the birth would mean "Larla got 2 hemorrhoids and had a 4th degree tear. She also pooped."

You're upset that grandma announced to her best friend that her new grandchild was born!?!?

Yes because op asked her to keep it private. It’s not the grandmothers story to tell. But I guess you’d think otherwise since probably you see women as having no agency over their own body and no right to make their own decisions or express their own wishes. Got it.

I disagree and think grandparents have some rights here to tell their friends. It doesn't seem like grandma overshared anything. Grandma has a right to state that her own descendant was born. She wasn't upstaging her daughter on facebook, posting ugly pictures or posting personal information regarding the birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sharing the birth would mean "Larla got 2 hemorrhoids and had a 4th degree tear. She also pooped."

You're upset that grandma announced to her best friend that her new grandchild was born!?!?

Yes because op asked her to keep it private. It’s not the grandmothers story to tell. But I guess you’d think otherwise since probably you see women as having no agency over their own body and no right to make their own decisions or express their own wishes. Got it.

There are serious challenges with regard to reproductive rights. They should not be in the same sentence with defending OP’s manufactured problem with her mother.

[Anonymous]

Some of us don't want anything on social media about our kids. That is our choice. The grandmother has no right to share that information on social media. If she wants to tell her bestie that her kids had another baby, she can call her. Not everyone puts their whole life on display online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man was here saying he wanted to keep a surgery private no one would bat an eye.

By the way some people like to keep a birth private so they can enjoy a few weeks of quiet with the baby.

Let us know which type of male surgery results in the creation of a new human biological descendant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us don't want anything on social media about our kids. That is our choice. The grandmother has no right to share that information on social media. If she wants to tell her bestie that her kids had another baby, she can call her. Not everyone puts their whole life on display online.

Where did OP say social media is involved? She's put out because a gift arrived and somehow ruined the experience of having a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man was here saying he wanted to keep a surgery private no one would bat an eye.

By the way some people like to keep a birth private so they can enjoy a few weeks of quiet with the baby.

Let us know which type of male surgery results in the creation of a new human biological descendant.

Agree. Hemorrhoid surgery can be private but having a baby is not. The nurses were all over me at the hospital to fill out paperwork within hours of my kids' births. No secrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sharing the birth would mean "Larla got 2 hemorrhoids and had a 4th degree tear. She also pooped."

You're upset that grandma announced to her best friend that her new grandchild was born!?!?

Yes because op asked her to keep it private. It’s not the grandmothers story to tell. But I guess you’d think otherwise since probably you see women as having no agency over their own body and no right to make their own decisions or express their own wishes. Got it.

And how should grandma respond to a friend asking if the baby has been born? That she's not supposed to say anything even just, yes, until the daughter clears it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot hate your mother, punish her for past misdeeds, and also, complain that she isn't helpful enough, and also share details with her that you then forbid her from sharing with others.

You are being incredibly controlling and unfair to this person who cannot give you what you want. They have the psychological profile they have. If they are oversharers, they cannot change. Do not tempt them by giving them details you don't want them to spread around. That's cruel!

YOU are the problem here. You have failed to adjust to the parent you have.

For shame.

You need to examine your internalized misogyny. Op is entitled to privacy. Seek help for your obvious mental illness.

NP - Not arguing about any of this except your bolded "internalized misogyny." I'm sorry, but your version of womanhood doesn't trump anyone else's version.

BS on the “NP”. You hatred for women is pretty blatant and you disgust me. I assume you disgust everyone else which is why you find it so fun to be toxic online.

Also your comment is word salad and makes no sense.

Yes, I am the NP. And no, my comment is not word salad. The point is that when women accuse other women of internalized misogyny, they are trying to police them and their views on how women should behave. Your opinion on these issues holds no stronger sway than the PPs (or mine), and resorting to this is lame argumentation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, op, I think you’re being unreasonable. But that’s okay! You just had a baby and emotions run high. But no, expect g your mom not to mention to a friend that the baby was born does not scream “reasonable.” Congrats on the baby!

I have no doubt that there is a lot of history there that is making you so upset about this. Try to separate that out.

My mother has done a lot to hurt me. I have realized I do set up tests for her and she inevitably fails and I get upset. But if I look at it rationally, some of these things would not bother me if someone else did them. We just have too much history and she continues to do some major things that I can’t get over so these more minor things get caught up in that. I am valid in being upset about the bigger things. But I have to figure out how to manage the relationship better because setting up these “tests” and getting upset about them doesn’t help me or her. Just a thought.

This is a great post.
OP, I wish you good luck and happiness.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP at least your bad bad gabby mom isn't posting the history of your 33 week allegedly crypto pregnancy, troubled family of origin history, and current legal and medical details on DCUM.