Asked mother not to share birth with others, she did anyway. Would you be upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot hate your mother, punish her for past misdeeds, and also, complain that she isn't helpful enough, and also share details with her that you then forbid her from sharing with others.

You are being incredibly controlling and unfair to this person who cannot give you what you want. They have the psychological profile they have. If they are oversharers, they cannot change. Do not tempt them by giving them details you don't want them to spread around. That's cruel!

YOU are the problem here. You have failed to adjust to the parent you have.

For shame.

You need to examine your internalized misogyny. Op is entitled to privacy. Seek help for your obvious mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. As others have said, which mom of a newborn and a toddler has time to post here.

Lots? Easier to read an online forum than a novel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. As others have said, which mom of a newborn and a toddler has time to post here.

Lots? Easier to read an online forum than a novel.

Read, yes, type, no. Very hard to type with one hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Details of the birth” to me would be how long you labored, that you had an epidural, etc. Not that you had a baby.

You cannot keep a baby a secret and it’s kind of weird to try.

This.
Did you say don't tell anyone we are having a baby?

You seem like a drama llama

Births and deaths aren't private affairs. It's a completely bizarre request to demand of someone.

It is bizarre but had op said don't tell anyone I had the baby then her mom should have honored that request. Though I suppose op said birth details and mom thought she meant don't talk about labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being unreasonable and childish. If you really wanted to keep it private, why did you tell your mom anyway? I think deep down you want to control the narrative and upset about your mom doing it before you. It's a childbirth. Don't you have bigger things to worry about? Don't use your baby as a leverage.

This.

OP doesn’t like her mom for whatever reasons (maybe justified, maybe not) and now is trying to control mom with these games.

Demanding a relative not share news about the birth of a child is simply weird. I can see why mom rolls her eyes at OP like she is a toddler.

[Anonymous]

OP you are super unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Op you are being unreasonable. I think your life is too good, so you find something to upset yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot hate your mother, punish her for past misdeeds, and also, complain that she isn't helpful enough, and also share details with her that you then forbid her from sharing with others.

You are being incredibly controlling and unfair to this person who cannot give you what you want. They have the psychological profile they have. If they are oversharers, they cannot change. Do not tempt them by giving them details you don't want them to spread around. That's cruel!

YOU are the problem here. You have failed to adjust to the parent you have.

For shame.

You need to examine your internalized misogyny. Op is entitled to privacy. Seek help for your obvious mental illness.

NP - Not arguing about any of this except your bolded "internalized misogyny." I'm sorry, but your version of womanhood doesn't trump anyone else's version.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot hate your mother, punish her for past misdeeds, and also, complain that she isn't helpful enough, and also share details with her that you then forbid her from sharing with others.

You are being incredibly controlling and unfair to this person who cannot give you what you want. They have the psychological profile they have. If they are oversharers, they cannot change. Do not tempt them by giving them details you don't want them to spread around. That's cruel!

YOU are the problem here. You have failed to adjust to the parent you have.

For shame.

You need to examine your internalized misogyny. Op is entitled to privacy. Seek help for your obvious mental illness.

Even the state doesn’t allow you to keep a birth secret. It’s for a child’s benefit.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between, “Mom, please don’t share the details about the birth without asking us” and “Mom, this baby is a secret and you’re not allowed to tell anyone unless you ask us specifically if we want a particular person to know.”

The first is reasonable.

The second is crackpot stuff.

Just saying that she became a grandmother for the second time is not equivalent to, “my poor daughter refused an epidural and then when she shaved her pubic hair, it bled profusely and she yelled at the nurse and was certainly not being rational and then the nurse refused to allow her to bounce on a birthing ball so….”

If all she said was that you had another baby, I don’t think that is fairly characterized as “sharing details about the birth”

[Anonymous]

No. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Details of the birth” to me would be how long you labored, that you had an epidural, etc. Not that you had a baby.

You cannot keep a baby a secret and it’s kind of weird to try.

This is how I would have interpreted the request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot hate your mother, punish her for past misdeeds, and also, complain that she isn't helpful enough, and also share details with her that you then forbid her from sharing with others.

You are being incredibly controlling and unfair to this person who cannot give you what you want. They have the psychological profile they have. If they are oversharers, they cannot change. Do not tempt them by giving them details you don't want them to spread around. That's cruel!

YOU are the problem here. You have failed to adjust to the parent you have.

For shame.

You need to examine your internalized misogyny. Op is entitled to privacy. Seek help for your obvious mental illness.

NP - Not arguing about any of this except your bolded "internalized misogyny." I'm sorry, but your version of womanhood doesn't trump anyone else's version.

BS on the “NP”. You hatred for women is pretty blatant and you disgust me. I assume you disgust everyone else which is why you find it so fun to be toxic online.

Also your comment is word salad and makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

If a man was here saying he wanted to keep a surgery private no one would bat an eye.

By the way some people like to keep a birth private so they can enjoy a few weeks of quiet with the baby.

[Anonymous]

Sharing the birth would mean "Larla got 2 hemorrhoids and had a 4th degree tear. She also pooped."

You're upset that grandma announced to her best friend that her new grandchild was born!?!?