15 y/o DS - high level athlete and found out he's been smoking weed every weekend

[Anonymous]

Is it friends from his sports team? It is really hard when teammates party and that is your peer group. In 10th grade my sin suddenly wanted to drop the sport he was good at and couldn’t quite explain why. He dropped a lot of friends and we thought he was isolating himself and depressed. Turns out that he admitted in 11th when he found a new group to hang out with that his old friends were partying. He didn’t want to drink, vape, use edible or smoke. He didn’t want to tell us because he thought we would contact his firmer friends’ parents. It was a lonely 10th grade year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

The works of teens.

I know y’all don’t like to think that it’s normal for a 15 yo to drink, smoke pot and have sex and still are normal children.

Its normal.

You want to catastrophize and think … but they will fail out, or the I’ll become schizophrenic, or they’re gonna become drug addict.

But those situations are extreme outliers.

Op should check in, see what’s going on and see if he is having issues in other area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

The works of teens.

I know y’all don’t like to think that it’s normal for a 15 yo to drink, smoke pot and have sex and still are normal children.

Its normal.

You want to catastrophize and think … but they will fail out, or the I’ll become schizophrenic, or they’re gonna become drug addict.

But those situations are extreme outliers.

Op should check in, see what’s going on and see if he is having issues in other area.

They are normal children. They are engaging in activities that are not “normal” for their age, if for no other reason that the majority of kids their age do not smoke pot and drink, especially on a weekly basis.

Sorry your kids have turned out that way, but claiming that everyone else has these problems is simply not true.

[Anonymous]

A lot of those private school athletes are doing lines on the weekends because they have the money.

Please provide ANY evidence that supports this. This is so ridiculous. Anecdotally, I have heard of many more kids in public school using hard drugs than in my kid's private school. BTW, I have kids that went to public school as well, so I know of what I speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

The works of teens.

I know y’all don’t like to think that it’s normal for a 15 yo to drink, smoke pot and have sex and still are normal children.

Its normal.

You want to catastrophize and think … but they will fail out, or the I’ll become schizophrenic, or they’re gonna become drug addict.

But those situations are extreme outliers.

Op should check in, see what’s going on and see if he is having issues in other area.

They are normal children. They are engaging in activities that are not “normal” for their age, if for no other reason that the majority of kids their age do not smoke pot and drink, especially on a weekly basis.

Sorry your kids have turned out that way, but claiming that everyone else has these problems is simply not true.

They are normal children doing things normal teens do.

Majority of kids don’t go to college but going to college is developmentally normal

I feel sorry for your kids that you expect perfection of you will label them abnormal.

Thats a lot of adult therapy they will need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

A lot of those private school athletes are doing lines on the weekends because they have the money.

Please provide ANY evidence that supports this. This is so ridiculous. Anecdotally, I have heard of many more kids in public school using hard drugs than in my kid's private school. BTW, I have kids that went to public school as well, so I know of what I speak.

Please provide ANY evidence that support this?

[Anonymous]

Listen OP a lot of kids do drugs. But most of teens in high school do them recreationally and most parents can't even tell.

The fact that you have noticed a difference means there is an issue and he needs some help. Thank him for being honest, tell him he is going to be drug tested once a week, and if he shows a positive, you notify his coach or pull him from the team.

As far as peer group, if they are in the same sport he has to learn to say "I am getting tested now" or I am going to lay off. Or better yet, get a girlfriend should help too.

If they aren't in the same sport, he needs to drop them.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sorry. We also recently found our hs junior has been using a 'dab pen' with THC. It was absolutely affecting his motivation and the physical signs were obvious. He denied it even when faced with the device I found in his room.

They think they are invincible at this age and peer pressure is huge. We talked to him about the health concerns, how it can be laced, how he will fail drug tests. This last one is what really caught is attention and he says he is using that now as an excuse to his peers. The physical signs are not there anymore and I truly think he is not using at this point. But we are extremely vigilant and watch him like a hawk.

Don't take to heart what some of these parents are saying about raising a druggie or whatever. There but for the grace of god they go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry. We also recently found our hs junior has been using a 'dab pen' with THC. It was absolutely affecting his motivation and the physical signs were obvious. He denied it even when faced with the device I found in his room.

They think they are invincible at this age and peer pressure is huge. We talked to him about the health concerns, how it can be laced, how he will fail drug tests. This last one is what really caught is attention and he says he is using that now as an excuse to his peers. The physical signs are not there anymore and I truly think he is not using at this point. But we are extremely vigilant and watch him like a hawk.

Don't take to heart what some of these parents are saying about raising a druggie or whatever. There but for the grace of god they go.

OP here, this is the most effective post. I know I didn't raise a druggie and I don't take offense to those who throw stones from a glass house -their time will come. It may not be drugs, alcohol, etc. but something will force them to eat a slice of humble pie. I'm curious what were the physical signs were you noticed? Thank you for your support and advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry. We also recently found our hs junior has been using a 'dab pen' with THC. It was absolutely affecting his motivation and the physical signs were obvious. He denied it even when faced with the device I found in his room.

They think they are invincible at this age and peer pressure is huge. We talked to him about the health concerns, how it can be laced, how he will fail drug tests. This last one is what really caught is attention and he says he is using that now as an excuse to his peers. The physical signs are not there anymore and I truly think he is not using at this point. But we are extremely vigilant and watch him like a hawk.

Don't take to heart what some of these parents are saying about raising a druggie or whatever. There but for the grace of god they go.

OP here, this is the most effective post. I know I didn't raise a druggie and I don't take offense to those who throw stones from a glass house -their time will come. It may not be drugs, alcohol, etc. but something will force them to eat a slice of humble pie. I'm curious what were the physical signs were you noticed? Thank you for your support and advice.

The obvious ones - so cliche. He would come home from school and take a very long nap. Bloodshot eyes. Just more fatigued and snacking more. Not going to the gym. And the biggest - use of air freshener in his room. It was so obvious. I knew SOMETHING was going on but I didn't have any physical evidence until I found the cartridge. I had to ask my older son in college exactly what it was because I wasn't sure and google wasn't a huge help. It is a whole new ballgame with this generation - it is not just joints and cigarettes. It is easier to hide/disguise. And think it is so prevalent they don't understand how dangerous is really is both physically and legally.

[Anonymous]

The answer of course is public school.

[Anonymous]

A couple of the top basketball players on my son's high level team started smoking weed regularly. You could see their skills dropping, their speed slowing, and Saturday morning games were the worst. These were kids that were recruited by colleges in 10th and 11th grade and now as seniors have no offers. The effects are real on athletes. Maybe that will help convince him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was telling him early on that you “know” he’ll likely try it, but to wait as long as possible.

I guess he did exactly as you asked.

I would never in a million years say that to a kid.

+1
you literally normalized drug-use for him. "it's inevitable!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

Since when is it developmentally normal to smoke weed at 15?

Since the 70’s

There's been a ton of research (since the 70s) that shows that using drugs at an early age can exacerbate mental health disorders especially in males. My brother's schizophrenia has been directly connected to his teen pot and other drug use.

Pot use alone does not cause schizophrenia. It’s a combination of genetics environment and life circumstances. Pot can exacerbate these.

so? you have no clue what genetics your child has or what kind of environmental triggers he had encountered. maybe he is untriggerable, but maybe he isn't. taking such a huge gamble (and for what benefit) is insane.