Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

I think I did.

I think if a bunch of people came on this thread and started posting about how they didn’t have kids because they wanted to maintain their career, you wouldn’t feel so insulted.

You also wouldn’t force them to account for their time evenings and weekends and tell them how unproductive they are.

I think many people would find that insulting actually. Maybe you wouldn't, but I definitely would. It adds nothing to the conversation, it's just chatter from people who want attention, distracting from the actual topic. It costs nothing to make your own thread about whatever you want lol. More power to you to do that! Derailing other peoples threads is inappropriate internet etiquette, but there are many people on here (and trolls) who love to do it.

You're right that I wouldn't force them to account for their time on evenings and weekends, nor have I done that with any one else who posted here.

You have asked women who primarily work taking care of their children to account for their time when the children aren’t home.
Then you accused them of lying, puffing up their day, pretending to be so busy, feeling insecure, and being ineffective with their time.

I’m not a SAHM, but I feel compelled to defend them. And I am sure that your comments have caused several people casually looking at this thread to post.

If you want to know why SAHMs are posting in this thread, that’s why.

I definitely have not. I have responded to some of those posts, or other posts discussing that, but I have not asked about their time or asked anyone to justify their choice.

That’s fair. It’s an anonymous board.
People have asked what SAHMs and WOHMs with non traditional schedules do when their kids are at school. You read the responses and ridiculed these women, saying that they are lying, puffing up their time, pretending to be so busy, etc

Yes, there is no need to puff up and talk about running errands for 10h a week and say that's why you cant work and parent at the same time... I mean, maybe that happens, honestly I would be shocked, but who knows lol. It's really no skin off my nose.

I acknowledge a difference between the SAHMs in my life and the SAHMs on here, and IRL no one tries to puff. Clearly I'm on this website during the workday, so I'm not about to say I'm soooooo busy I also dont have one of the important jobs that some pps have. I dunno, I'm just tired of the fake. This is anon, if people cant be real here, why bother at all?

The reason I can’t work and parent at the same time is because I have a child with autism and I get called into the school a lot. I’m an ER doctor, so I can’t just leave my shift if something happens. So, I work part time evenings and overnight.

Because I am home, I don’t structure my day the way I would if I was working during the day. I exercise, run errands, shower, make dinner, garden, go to book club, etc.

I don’t know what’s going on with your friends, but I would guess that either they are secretly alcoholics or they do similar things during the school day, even if they don’t tell you about it. It would be crazy to structure household tasks the way you would if you were working and then just sit at home whiling away the time for six hours a day.

I'm the poster you replied to, but I have literally no idea what youre talking about. Why would you assume my friends are alcoholics? I never said anything about how I would structure household tasks?

You seem to think that SAHMs run errands, cook, or meet up with friends during the day because they are inefficient or because they are lying.
Otherwise, they would do these tasks when you do them.

I’m guessing that your friends are also actually busy doing this stuff during the day, even if they tell you that they do nothing.
People don’t spend hours a day laying on the couch doing nothing.

So anyone that does things differently than you is now an alcoholic? What a bizarre take on this thread. Maybe you've started happy hour and gotten confused, because this is making no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an MBA and I dumped the male dominated corporate world in the late 90's after baby #2 and I set up my own consulting business. I had an office in my town, good flexibility, good and bad nannies and a very helpful husband. Within a year I was making a lot more money than in my corporate job and I had a life. I had great clients and I really enjoyed the work and I had great control over my time. We eventually had baby #3 and I continued to consult. But I know that staying in a big corporate job would have put a ton of stress on me and I'm sure I would have excited because my husband was doing very well. Once we became empty nesters I stopped consulting to pursue an art career to do something just for me. So, I needed to work to satisfy my own needs but made changes along the way to meet my family needs and I'm very happy given how it has all turned out.

I’m about to retire and I’m already planning my “job” like your art career even thought I don’t need any money.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

Why are working moms so upset with SAHMs? I don’t think SAHMs are upset about working moms.

I’m a SAHM currently but I used to be a working mom. I have many friends from various times in my life. We are in our mid to late forties and many of my friends are unhappy. Many of the people on DCUM seem extremely unhappy if they need to attack others and their family choices.

For my marriage and family, it was the right choice for me to stay home. I like staying home. My kids are happy and thriving. I feel grateful and appreciative of DH. DH comes home to a happy family.

I was not a happy working mom. I was always stressed. I felt guilty about not spending enough time with my kids. I was always tired. I was often annoyed at school events or times when other people wanted to do something during the middle of a work day. I came home from work, had dinner with kids and put them to bed. It really wasn’t quality time at all. Then I would often be annoyed or irritated at DH.

Many of my most unhappiest friends are working moms with husbands who do not pull their weight and are less successful than the mom. The mom still has to do it all while also being the breadwinner. These women have high standards and not the most easy going. They are either divorced, divorcing or in unhappy marriages. I suspect the nasty people on this thread are likely one of these people. The most successful women I know happen to be the unhappiest in love. Maybe it is just in my circles.

working moms get upset with SAHM who say their kids are gross/“unmanicured” or that they are so flaky that they can’t RSVP to an evite or that it’s impossible for a family with big jobs to have well parented children. All of this things have been said explicitly in this thread.

SAHM gets upset when people, who I guess we are assuming are working moms, call them lazy. That’s fair IMO. There is also a category of SAHM who wants you to believe her kids would not be thriving if she worked or that she HAS to stay home for some other reason. In my experience these women often have spouses who wish they would help with the finances. Those women are very upset with happy working moms with flexible schedules who are not consistent with the narrative they tell themselves and their husbands. I would say this is less than 10 percent of the SAHMs I know in real life but I think they post here a lot.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

I think I did.

I think if a bunch of people came on this thread and started posting about how they didn’t have kids because they wanted to maintain their career, you wouldn’t feel so insulted.

You also wouldn’t force them to account for their time evenings and weekends and tell them how unproductive they are.

I think many people would find that insulting actually. Maybe you wouldn't, but I definitely would. It adds nothing to the conversation, it's just chatter from people who want attention, distracting from the actual topic. It costs nothing to make your own thread about whatever you want lol. More power to you to do that! Derailing other peoples threads is inappropriate internet etiquette, but there are many people on here (and trolls) who love to do it.

You're right that I wouldn't force them to account for their time on evenings and weekends, nor have I done that with any one else who posted here.

You have asked women who primarily work taking care of their children to account for their time when the children aren’t home.
Then you accused them of lying, puffing up their day, pretending to be so busy, feeling insecure, and being ineffective with their time.

I’m not a SAHM, but I feel compelled to defend them. And I am sure that your comments have caused several people casually looking at this thread to post.

If you want to know why SAHMs are posting in this thread, that’s why.

I definitely have not. I have responded to some of those posts, or other posts discussing that, but I have not asked about their time or asked anyone to justify their choice.

That’s fair. It’s an anonymous board.
People have asked what SAHMs and WOHMs with non traditional schedules do when their kids are at school. You read the responses and ridiculed these women, saying that they are lying, puffing up their time, pretending to be so busy, etc

Yes, there is no need to puff up and talk about running errands for 10h a week and say that's why you cant work and parent at the same time... I mean, maybe that happens, honestly I would be shocked, but who knows lol. It's really no skin off my nose.

I acknowledge a difference between the SAHMs in my life and the SAHMs on here, and IRL no one tries to puff. Clearly I'm on this website during the workday, so I'm not about to say I'm soooooo busy I also dont have one of the important jobs that some pps have. I dunno, I'm just tired of the fake. This is anon, if people cant be real here, why bother at all?

The reason I can’t work and parent at the same time is because I have a child with autism and I get called into the school a lot. I’m an ER doctor, so I can’t just leave my shift if something happens. So, I work part time evenings and overnight.

Because I am home, I don’t structure my day the way I would if I was working during the day. I exercise, run errands, shower, make dinner, garden, go to book club, etc.

I don’t know what’s going on with your friends, but I would guess that either they are secretly alcoholics or they do similar things during the school day, even if they don’t tell you about it. It would be crazy to structure household tasks the way you would if you were working and then just sit at home whiling away the time for six hours a day.

I'm the poster you replied to, but I have literally no idea what youre talking about. Why would you assume my friends are alcoholics? I never said anything about how I would structure household tasks?

You seem to think that SAHMs run errands, cook, or meet up with friends during the day because they are inefficient or because they are lying.
Otherwise, they would do these tasks when you do them.

I’m guessing that your friends are also actually busy doing this stuff during the day, even if they tell you that they do nothing.
People don’t spend hours a day laying on the couch doing nothing.

Err I never said what my friends tell me they do. Only that they don't "puff". What an insane jump to call them alcoholics. My friends are very happy with their lives, and I fully support them. It's pretty sad that you feel the need to insult randos in the internet to make yourself feel better.

[Anonymous]

I said we are assuming the people calling SAHMs lazy are working moms but it seems the the people who say it the most are the jerk husbands who are leaving their wives for younger models and want to justify it by minimizing what their wife has done for them over the years. I’m a working mom but it’s not hard for me to see how a SAHM would be super busy especially if she can’t outsource cleaning etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an MBA and I dumped the male dominated corporate world in the late 90's after baby #2 and I set up my own consulting business. I had an office in my town, good flexibility, good and bad nannies and a very helpful husband. Within a year I was making a lot more money than in my corporate job and I had a life. I had great clients and I really enjoyed the work and I had great control over my time. We eventually had baby #3 and I continued to consult. But I know that staying in a big corporate job would have put a ton of stress on me and I'm sure I would have excited because my husband was doing very well. Once we became empty nesters I stopped consulting to pursue an art career to do something just for me. So, I needed to work to satisfy my own needs but made changes along the way to meet my family needs and I'm very happy given how it has all turned out.

Your post is inspiring. I left a big firm for a small one while raising my kids, which turned out great. My experience with good and bad nannies and a helpful husband has been similar. Not all years have been perfect or easy, but I'm content with my path, and I look forward to when I can focus more on what I want out of my career versus just trying to keep a career alive while parenting.

I think this is such an important piece, thank you for bringing it up. There is survival mode, and there is career as a whole. Just like parenting, sometimes you need to look at the end goal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an MBA and I dumped the male dominated corporate world in the late 90's after baby #2 and I set up my own consulting business. I had an office in my town, good flexibility, good and bad nannies and a very helpful husband. Within a year I was making a lot more money than in my corporate job and I had a life. I had great clients and I really enjoyed the work and I had great control over my time. We eventually had baby #3 and I continued to consult. But I know that staying in a big corporate job would have put a ton of stress on me and I'm sure I would have excited because my husband was doing very well. Once we became empty nesters I stopped consulting to pursue an art career to do something just for me. So, I needed to work to satisfy my own needs but made changes along the way to meet my family needs and I'm very happy given how it has all turned out.

Your post is inspiring. I left a big firm for a small one while raising my kids, which turned out great. My experience with good and bad nannies and a helpful husband has been similar. Not all years have been perfect or easy, but I'm content with my path, and I look forward to when I can focus more on what I want out of my career versus just trying to keep a career alive while parenting.

I think this is such an important piece, thank you for bringing it up. There is survival mode, and there is career as a whole. Just like parenting, sometimes you need to look at the end goal!

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. I’m still in the thick of it with my kids. One day, I also hope to pursue something wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said we are assuming the people calling SAHMs lazy are working moms but it seems the the people who say it the most are the jerk husbands who are leaving their wives for younger models and want to justify it by minimizing what their wife has done for them over the years. I’m a working mom but it’s not hard for me to see how a SAHM would be super busy especially if she can’t outsource cleaning etc

Idk.

I have 3 SAHM friend who were the cheaters. One was forgiven. Two lost custody and their house.

Both ended up in 2 BR apartments, had to get back to work and never gained custody of their kids, only got visitation

One remarried and is fine but lost 6 years with her kids.

One move to a lower cost of living area and sees kids sporadically.

So maybe not bitter, maybe sad at what has happened to their friends.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

I think I did.

I think if a bunch of people came on this thread and started posting about how they didn’t have kids because they wanted to maintain their career, you wouldn’t feel so insulted.

You also wouldn’t force them to account for their time evenings and weekends and tell them how unproductive they are.

I think many people would find that insulting actually. Maybe you wouldn't, but I definitely would. It adds nothing to the conversation, it's just chatter from people who want attention, distracting from the actual topic. It costs nothing to make your own thread about whatever you want lol. More power to you to do that! Derailing other peoples threads is inappropriate internet etiquette, but there are many people on here (and trolls) who love to do it.

You're right that I wouldn't force them to account for their time on evenings and weekends, nor have I done that with any one else who posted here.

You have asked women who primarily work taking care of their children to account for their time when the children aren’t home.
Then you accused them of lying, puffing up their day, pretending to be so busy, feeling insecure, and being ineffective with their time.

I’m not a SAHM, but I feel compelled to defend them. And I am sure that your comments have caused several people casually looking at this thread to post.

If you want to know why SAHMs are posting in this thread, that’s why.

I definitely have not. I have responded to some of those posts, or other posts discussing that, but I have not asked about their time or asked anyone to justify their choice.

That’s fair. It’s an anonymous board.
People have asked what SAHMs and WOHMs with non traditional schedules do when their kids are at school. You read the responses and ridiculed these women, saying that they are lying, puffing up their time, pretending to be so busy, etc

Yes, there is no need to puff up and talk about running errands for 10h a week and say that's why you cant work and parent at the same time... I mean, maybe that happens, honestly I would be shocked, but who knows lol. It's really no skin off my nose.

I acknowledge a difference between the SAHMs in my life and the SAHMs on here, and IRL no one tries to puff. Clearly I'm on this website during the workday, so I'm not about to say I'm soooooo busy I also dont have one of the important jobs that some pps have. I dunno, I'm just tired of the fake. This is anon, if people cant be real here, why bother at all?

The reason I can’t work and parent at the same time is because I have a child with autism and I get called into the school a lot. I’m an ER doctor, so I can’t just leave my shift if something happens. So, I work part time evenings and overnight.

Because I am home, I don’t structure my day the way I would if I was working during the day. I exercise, run errands, shower, make dinner, garden, go to book club, etc.

I don’t know what’s going on with your friends, but I would guess that either they are secretly alcoholics or they do similar things during the school day, even if they don’t tell you about it. It would be crazy to structure household tasks the way you would if you were working and then just sit at home whiling away the time for six hours a day.

I'm the poster you replied to, but I have literally no idea what youre talking about. Why would you assume my friends are alcoholics? I never said anything about how I would structure household tasks?

You seem to think that SAHMs run errands, cook, or meet up with friends during the day because they are inefficient or because they are lying.
Otherwise, they would do these tasks when you do them.

I’m guessing that your friends are also actually busy doing this stuff during the day, even if they tell you that they do nothing.
People don’t spend hours a day laying on the couch doing nothing.

So anyone that does things differently than you is now an alcoholic? What a bizarre take on this thread. Maybe you've started happy hour and gotten confused, because this is making no sense.

My guess is that your SAHM friends do actually exercise, cook, clean, bathe, run errands, see friends, etc. during the school day.

If you are really going to insist that they do not, and they really sit around alone in their homes doing nothing, while they hire out household tasks and wait for their spouse to get home from work, then yeah, there is something going on with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an MBA and I dumped the male dominated corporate world in the late 90's after baby #2 and I set up my own consulting business. I had an office in my town, good flexibility, good and bad nannies and a very helpful husband. Within a year I was making a lot more money than in my corporate job and I had a life. I had great clients and I really enjoyed the work and I had great control over my time. We eventually had baby #3 and I continued to consult. But I know that staying in a big corporate job would have put a ton of stress on me and I'm sure I would have excited because my husband was doing very well. Once we became empty nesters I stopped consulting to pursue an art career to do something just for me. So, I needed to work to satisfy my own needs but made changes along the way to meet my family needs and I'm very happy given how it has all turned out.

Your post is inspiring. I left a big firm for a small one while raising my kids, which turned out great. My experience with good and bad nannies and a helpful husband has been similar. Not all years have been perfect or easy, but I'm content with my path, and I look forward to when I can focus more on what I want out of my career versus just trying to keep a career alive while parenting.

I think this is such an important piece, thank you for bringing it up. There is survival mode, and there is career as a whole. Just like parenting, sometimes you need to look at the end goal!

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. I’m still in the thick of it with my kids. One day, I also hope to pursue something wonderful.

I hope you do!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

I think I did.

I think if a bunch of people came on this thread and started posting about how they didn’t have kids because they wanted to maintain their career, you wouldn’t feel so insulted.

You also wouldn’t force them to account for their time evenings and weekends and tell them how unproductive they are.

I think many people would find that insulting actually. Maybe you wouldn't, but I definitely would. It adds nothing to the conversation, it's just chatter from people who want attention, distracting from the actual topic. It costs nothing to make your own thread about whatever you want lol. More power to you to do that! Derailing other peoples threads is inappropriate internet etiquette, but there are many people on here (and trolls) who love to do it.

You're right that I wouldn't force them to account for their time on evenings and weekends, nor have I done that with any one else who posted here.

You have asked women who primarily work taking care of their children to account for their time when the children aren’t home.
Then you accused them of lying, puffing up their day, pretending to be so busy, feeling insecure, and being ineffective with their time.

I’m not a SAHM, but I feel compelled to defend them. And I am sure that your comments have caused several people casually looking at this thread to post.

If you want to know why SAHMs are posting in this thread, that’s why.

I definitely have not. I have responded to some of those posts, or other posts discussing that, but I have not asked about their time or asked anyone to justify their choice.

That’s fair. It’s an anonymous board.
People have asked what SAHMs and WOHMs with non traditional schedules do when their kids are at school. You read the responses and ridiculed these women, saying that they are lying, puffing up their time, pretending to be so busy, etc

Yes, there is no need to puff up and talk about running errands for 10h a week and say that's why you cant work and parent at the same time... I mean, maybe that happens, honestly I would be shocked, but who knows lol. It's really no skin off my nose.

I acknowledge a difference between the SAHMs in my life and the SAHMs on here, and IRL no one tries to puff. Clearly I'm on this website during the workday, so I'm not about to say I'm soooooo busy I also dont have one of the important jobs that some pps have. I dunno, I'm just tired of the fake. This is anon, if people cant be real here, why bother at all?

The reason I can’t work and parent at the same time is because I have a child with autism and I get called into the school a lot. I’m an ER doctor, so I can’t just leave my shift if something happens. So, I work part time evenings and overnight.

Because I am home, I don’t structure my day the way I would if I was working during the day. I exercise, run errands, shower, make dinner, garden, go to book club, etc.

I don’t know what’s going on with your friends, but I would guess that either they are secretly alcoholics or they do similar things during the school day, even if they don’t tell you about it. It would be crazy to structure household tasks the way you would if you were working and then just sit at home whiling away the time for six hours a day.

I'm the poster you replied to, but I have literally no idea what youre talking about. Why would you assume my friends are alcoholics? I never said anything about how I would structure household tasks?

You seem to think that SAHMs run errands, cook, or meet up with friends during the day because they are inefficient or because they are lying.
Otherwise, they would do these tasks when you do them.

I’m guessing that your friends are also actually busy doing this stuff during the day, even if they tell you that they do nothing.
People don’t spend hours a day laying on the couch doing nothing.

Err I never said what my friends tell me they do. Only that they don't "puff". What an insane jump to call them alcoholics. My friends are very happy with their lives, and I fully support them. It's pretty sad that you feel the need to insult randos in the internet to make yourself feel better.

You are the one who keeps calling your friends alcoholics and insisting that a SAHM claiming to do anything but sit alone and unshowered in a dirty house all day must be “puffing.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

I think I did.

I think if a bunch of people came on this thread and started posting about how they didn’t have kids because they wanted to maintain their career, you wouldn’t feel so insulted.

You also wouldn’t force them to account for their time evenings and weekends and tell them how unproductive they are.

I think many people would find that insulting actually. Maybe you wouldn't, but I definitely would. It adds nothing to the conversation, it's just chatter from people who want attention, distracting from the actual topic. It costs nothing to make your own thread about whatever you want lol. More power to you to do that! Derailing other peoples threads is inappropriate internet etiquette, but there are many people on here (and trolls) who love to do it.

You're right that I wouldn't force them to account for their time on evenings and weekends, nor have I done that with any one else who posted here.

You have asked women who primarily work taking care of their children to account for their time when the children aren’t home.
Then you accused them of lying, puffing up their day, pretending to be so busy, feeling insecure, and being ineffective with their time.

I’m not a SAHM, but I feel compelled to defend them. And I am sure that your comments have caused several people casually looking at this thread to post.

If you want to know why SAHMs are posting in this thread, that’s why.

I definitely have not. I have responded to some of those posts, or other posts discussing that, but I have not asked about their time or asked anyone to justify their choice.

That’s fair. It’s an anonymous board.
People have asked what SAHMs and WOHMs with non traditional schedules do when their kids are at school. You read the responses and ridiculed these women, saying that they are lying, puffing up their time, pretending to be so busy, etc

Yes, there is no need to puff up and talk about running errands for 10h a week and say that's why you cant work and parent at the same time... I mean, maybe that happens, honestly I would be shocked, but who knows lol. It's really no skin off my nose.

I acknowledge a difference between the SAHMs in my life and the SAHMs on here, and IRL no one tries to puff. Clearly I'm on this website during the workday, so I'm not about to say I'm soooooo busy I also dont have one of the important jobs that some pps have. I dunno, I'm just tired of the fake. This is anon, if people cant be real here, why bother at all?

The reason I can’t work and parent at the same time is because I have a child with autism and I get called into the school a lot. I’m an ER doctor, so I can’t just leave my shift if something happens. So, I work part time evenings and overnight.

Because I am home, I don’t structure my day the way I would if I was working during the day. I exercise, run errands, shower, make dinner, garden, go to book club, etc.

I don’t know what’s going on with your friends, but I would guess that either they are secretly alcoholics or they do similar things during the school day, even if they don’t tell you about it. It would be crazy to structure household tasks the way you would if you were working and then just sit at home whiling away the time for six hours a day.

I'm the poster you replied to, but I have literally no idea what youre talking about. Why would you assume my friends are alcoholics? I never said anything about how I would structure household tasks?

You seem to think that SAHMs run errands, cook, or meet up with friends during the day because they are inefficient or because they are lying.
Otherwise, they would do these tasks when you do them.

I’m guessing that your friends are also actually busy doing this stuff during the day, even if they tell you that they do nothing.
People don’t spend hours a day laying on the couch doing nothing.

Err I never said what my friends tell me they do. Only that they don't "puff". What an insane jump to call them alcoholics. My friends are very happy with their lives, and I fully support them. It's pretty sad that you feel the need to insult randos in the internet to make yourself feel better.

You are the one who keeps calling your friends alcoholics and insisting that a SAHM claiming to do anything but sit alone and unshowered in a dirty house all day must be “puffing.”

Didn't say that, ever
Didn't say that, ever
Did use this one word.
I actually have no idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an MBA and I dumped the male dominated corporate world in the late 90's after baby #2 and I set up my own consulting business. I had an office in my town, good flexibility, good and bad nannies and a very helpful husband. Within a year I was making a lot more money than in my corporate job and I had a life. I had great clients and I really enjoyed the work and I had great control over my time. We eventually had baby #3 and I continued to consult. But I know that staying in a big corporate job would have put a ton of stress on me and I'm sure I would have excited because my husband was doing very well. Once we became empty nesters I stopped consulting to pursue an art career to do something just for me. So, I needed to work to satisfy my own needs but made changes along the way to meet my family needs and I'm very happy given how it has all turned out.

You sound like a total bad a$$! It must have been really scary to quit corporate and start your own business after baby #2.

PP - I’m not a bad ass at all but I had a very supportive husband and a good network of possible clients. Once I was ready to get to work after baby #2 arrived I had all the work I needed. I think it was scarier for my husband given we were down to one income and about to have a new baby and you never know what can happen.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why SAHMs are so defensive! I work PT by choice but was a longtime SAHM. I live a life of extreme privilege with lots of leisure time.

I don't feel the need to pretend I'm busy or that my life has some higher purpose or meaning beyond meeting the needs of my family while also enjoying myself. My husband is not confused about my level of busyness and he is fine with it. I'm very low maintenance - I don't spend on expensive brands and we don't remodel our home for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand the daily errands thing

Gives them something to do.

DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. Most basically just act semi-retired.

Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?

Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically on this website, because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are.

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person.

You must have missed this part of my post: I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining.

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own.

I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead.

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

I don't think you understood the post...

I think I did.

I think if a bunch of people came on this thread and started posting about how they didn’t have kids because they wanted to maintain their career, you wouldn’t feel so insulted.

You also wouldn’t force them to account for their time evenings and weekends and tell them how unproductive they are.

I think many people would find that insulting actually. Maybe you wouldn't, but I definitely would. It adds nothing to the conversation, it's just chatter from people who want attention, distracting from the actual topic. It costs nothing to make your own thread about whatever you want lol. More power to you to do that! Derailing other peoples threads is inappropriate internet etiquette, but there are many people on here (and trolls) who love to do it.

You're right that I wouldn't force them to account for their time on evenings and weekends, nor have I done that with any one else who posted here.

You have asked women who primarily work taking care of their children to account for their time when the children aren’t home.
Then you accused them of lying, puffing up their day, pretending to be so busy, feeling insecure, and being ineffective with their time.

I’m not a SAHM, but I feel compelled to defend them. And I am sure that your comments have caused several people casually looking at this thread to post.

If you want to know why SAHMs are posting in this thread, that’s why.

I definitely have not. I have responded to some of those posts, or other posts discussing that, but I have not asked about their time or asked anyone to justify their choice.

That’s fair. It’s an anonymous board.
People have asked what SAHMs and WOHMs with non traditional schedules do when their kids are at school. You read the responses and ridiculed these women, saying that they are lying, puffing up their time, pretending to be so busy, etc

Yes, there is no need to puff up and talk about running errands for 10h a week and say that's why you cant work and parent at the same time... I mean, maybe that happens, honestly I would be shocked, but who knows lol. It's really no skin off my nose.

I acknowledge a difference between the SAHMs in my life and the SAHMs on here, and IRL no one tries to puff. Clearly I'm on this website during the workday, so I'm not about to say I'm soooooo busy I also dont have one of the important jobs that some pps have. I dunno, I'm just tired of the fake. This is anon, if people cant be real here, why bother at all?

The reason I can’t work and parent at the same time is because I have a child with autism and I get called into the school a lot. I’m an ER doctor, so I can’t just leave my shift if something happens. So, I work part time evenings and overnight.

Because I am home, I don’t structure my day the way I would if I was working during the day. I exercise, run errands, shower, make dinner, garden, go to book club, etc.

I don’t know what’s going on with your friends, but I would guess that either they are secretly alcoholics or they do similar things during the school day, even if they don’t tell you about it. It would be crazy to structure household tasks the way you would if you were working and then just sit at home whiling away the time for six hours a day.

I'm the poster you replied to, but I have literally no idea what youre talking about. Why would you assume my friends are alcoholics? I never said anything about how I would structure household tasks?

You seem to think that SAHMs run errands, cook, or meet up with friends during the day because they are inefficient or because they are lying.
Otherwise, they would do these tasks when you do them.

I’m guessing that your friends are also actually busy doing this stuff during the day, even if they tell you that they do nothing.
People don’t spend hours a day laying on the couch doing nothing.

Err I never said what my friends tell me they do. Only that they don't "puff". What an insane jump to call them alcoholics. My friends are very happy with their lives, and I fully support them. It's pretty sad that you feel the need to insult randos in the internet to make yourself feel better.

You are the one who keeps calling your friends alcoholics and insisting that a SAHM claiming to do anything but sit alone and unshowered in a dirty house all day must be “puffing.”

Didn't say that, ever
Didn't say that, ever
Did use this one word.
I actually have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, I keep saying that no one literally lays around and does nothing for hours everyday unless they are an alcoholic or have some kind of illness.

You keep asking me if I am calling your friends alcoholics.

I am going to assume that this is because your friends are literally laying around doing nothing for hours every day.