Reply to Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll never understand the daily errands thing[/quote]

Gives them something to do.  [/quote]
DP but agree.

There is no way anyone "needs" to go to the post office or grocery store every day. And if you do grocery shop every day, you are shopping for very minimal ingredients that do not take long, because you're only buying enough for the day. If you are literally running out of clothing, you/your children must wear the same thing every day? I'm so confused as to how someone can say they are running out of clothing because they didn't do laundry ONE day??

Working out takes time. Cooking takes time. But most SAHMs arent cooking dinner at 3pm before their kids are out of school.

I just tend to think that SAHMs get a lot of heat (see this thread) so try and make it sound like their days are sooo busy, even though it's really not. It's an insecurity because they feel like they have to "keep up" with the working people or ones who are actually busy.

I like the comparison to retired people. I know very few retired people who are like "oh yeah im sooo busy! Busier than when I was working!" They own it and talk about gardening and napping and being bored LOL.[/quote]

This is a weird DCUM phenomenon. I am a longtime SAHM (with teens now) who subs at the local ES part-time. I know very few remaining SAHMs who have not trickled back to work in some capacity. [b]And none of them claim or pretend to be super busy. [/b]Most basically just act semi-retired. [/quote]
Perhaps it's because so many people on here are educated working women that they feel inferior? Maybe IRL they hang out with people of the same caliber, and don't feel the need to puff up their days. Like, I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol. [/quote]

I don't know if you did this, but you implied that you and other educated working moms are of a higher caliber than PP. Was that what you meant to say?[/quote]
Perhaps "caliber" was the wrong word. I surmised that the SAHMs who puff up their day to sound supes busy raising children and keeping their house are insecure specifically [i]on this website[/i], because there is a high % of highly educated working women. If they aren't doing this in IRL (telling other SAHMs how busy they are) because they feel more comfortable with them, are not insecure about talking about how quiet their days are. [/quote]

When you talk to SAHMs in person, do you do things like imply that you're better than they are because you're an educated working woman, and that it makes sense that they'd feel insecure around you? I think that people just say things on this website that they wouldn't in person. [/quote]
You must have missed this part of my post: [i]I'd love to go to a daytime book club, pilates class and swing by the cafe to meet a friend for lunch. But don't tell me that's "so busy raising kids" lolol.[/i]

I don't think I'm better than anyone! I do work for many reasons, posted a while back. But the SAHM friends I have do not make up lies about how many times they clean bathrooms per day to make me think theyre so busy. They also dont imply that I'm a bad parent because I work, or that my house is dirty because I dont clean 5 bathrooms 7x a week. I am going to assume the ones who talk about how there's "no time left" to do much while your kid is at school are insecure and defensive over their choices. If someone wants to own their life of leisure, I'm here for it! But dont piss on my back and tell me its raining. [/quote]

I was talking about your use of the word "caliber." You did say that "perhaps" it was the wrong word, but I don't see how you can say something like that and not feel superior to the people you said are of lesser caliber. I do think that a lot of the comments from SAHMs here are rude too, but I wonder if people are getting defensive or upset not because someone is actually being insulting, but because we can't help but infer an insult when someone defends a life choice that is different from our own. [/quote]
I was responding to a specific post about how SAHMs dont do this IRL, only on DCUM, and what the differences may be and I apologize if my word choice triggered you.

Some of the posts on this thread are insulting. Especially considering it was supposed to be about why working women work, and seems to have been taken over with SAHMs justifying how they spend their time instead. [/quote]

Why do you find it insulting that a SAHM runs errands during the day?

Do you find it insulting that people without children are running errands or going to book club in the evening?

[/quote]
I don't think you understood the post...[/quote]

Why are working moms so upset with SAHMs? I don’t think SAHMs are upset about working moms.

I’m a SAHM currently but I used to be a working mom. I have many friends from various times in my life. We are in our mid to late forties and many of my friends are unhappy. Many of the people on DCUM seem extremely unhappy if they need to attack others and their family choices.

For my marriage and family, it was the right choice for me to stay home. I like staying home. My kids are happy and thriving. I feel grateful and appreciative of DH. DH comes home to a happy family.

I was not a happy working mom. I was always stressed. I felt guilty about not spending enough time with my kids. I was always tired. I was often annoyed at school events or times when other people wanted to do something during the middle of a work day. I came home from work, had dinner with kids and put them to bed. It really wasn’t quality time at all. Then I would often be annoyed or irritated at DH.

Many of my most unhappiest friends are working moms with husbands who do not pull their weight and are less successful than the mom. The mom still has to do it all while also being the breadwinner. These women have high standards and not the most easy going. They are either divorced, divorcing or in unhappy marriages. I suspect the nasty people on this thread are likely one of these people. The most successful women I know happen to be the unhappiest in love. Maybe it is just in my circles.[/quote]

working moms get upset with SAHM who say their kids are gross/“unmanicured” or that they are so flaky that they can’t RSVP to an evite or that it’s impossible for a family with big jobs to have well parented children. All of this things have been said explicitly in this thread.

SAHM gets upset when people, who I guess we are assuming are working moms, call them lazy. That’s fair IMO. There is also a category of SAHM who wants you to believe her kids would not be thriving if she worked or that she HAS to stay home for some other reason. In my experience these women often have spouses who wish they would help with the finances. Those women are very upset with happy working moms with flexible schedules who are not consistent with the narrative they tell themselves and their husbands. I would say this is less than 10 percent of the SAHMs I know in real life but I think they post here a lot.

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