Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man is not a plan.

Being financially reliant on a man is very risky.

What's going to happen to you if you divorce? If your husband cheats on you, are you going to turn a blind eye so that you can keep living your nice lifestyle rather than having to downgrade and get a job (that won't be a good job in all likelihood since you took yourself out of the workplace)?

As a PP pointed out, divorce isn’t the only risk. Disability and death could also put a SAHP in a precarious position.

[Anonymous]

I knew long before I had a child that being a SAHM was not for me. I work for the feds and I liked knowing that I had a guaranteed income should he lose his job. I love my child more than anything but I like my work, went to school for a long time and appreciate that the dual income makes life easier.

Also, we may not be in the income bracket you are referring to. My husband only earns 210K and I’m just around 180K.

[Anonymous]

I know of three moms who husbands died in 40’s and 50’s from unexpected cancer. There jobs saved the family. They could stay in their homes and afford kid activities as a widow. Once you’ve devoted most of your life to obtaining higher education, you want to use it. It is important for your young kids to see role models in moms. Moms don’t just cook, dust, and wipe bums.

[Anonymous]

Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

[Anonymous]

I like my job. It gives me meaning and purpose and social connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew I couldn't deal with being SAHM, I would go stir crazy. I enjoy contributing to society and extending my efforts and mental abilities to beyond that of a mother and wife. My DH helps a lot with childcare and home chores. We have cleaning service. When kids were younger, had nannies/babysitters in addition to kids going to daycare/preschool early on.

Sounds like feminism did its damage. I don't understand how so many women believe that being a corporate cog is more meaningful than being a mother.

You are a deliberate sh*t stirrer. No one believes that. But most of us know that being a good mother requires more than quitting work to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

What if that is why people prefer to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a career in finance that I enjoyed, but then DC was born. Doing childcare, tending the home and working was very exhausting so I deprioritized my career. Although I had some success as an employer my husband was way more successful so it didn't make sense for me to be employed. I know women married to high earning men, but they still work even after having more than one child. I can't understand this, how can they do it all? I'm genuinely curious.

Because many women believe they more than mothers and wives

Also the idea of being dependent like a child makes my skin crawl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their husbands aren’t checked out of family life the same way it sounds like your husband is. So they have more help.

OP here. Men aren't as helpful around the house, at least not in my experience. They might cook or clean from time to time, but they're not as involved with their children and women are.

That’s your experience. It’s not some universal truth. Some of us picked wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

Good idea.

I didn't work the whole time, but I was happier when I was working because I'm not good at filling time on my own with meaningful things. It's hard for me to make myself maintain friendships, have a daily schedule, etc when I have to ensure myself that those things happen. I know that for a lot of moms, work is a break. They get a chance to eat a meal alone and a break from being touched. I sort of related to those things too. But overall I chose the less stressful but slightly more depressing route: SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

I work because I love my job which I worked very hard to get. I am a cancer immunologist.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like feminism did its damage. I don't understand how so many women believe that being a corporate cog is more meaningful than being a mother.

Thank you for your snide comment. I don't believe that being a corporate cog (nor any job) is more meaningful than being a mother, and I don't believe that one is less of a mother if one chooses to maintain one's career after becoming a mother.

I work in the medical field and I love what I do and find lots of meaning in it.

My children are very well adjusted and happy kids. They benefited from their nannies/babysitters as they brought things to the table that I could not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew I couldn't deal with being SAHM, I would go stir crazy. I enjoy contributing to society and extending my efforts and mental abilities to beyond that of a mother and wife. My DH helps a lot with childcare and home chores. We have cleaning service. When kids were younger, had nannies/babysitters in addition to kids going to daycare/preschool early on.

Sounds like feminism did its damage. I don't understand how so many women believe that being a corporate cog is more meaningful than being a mother.

You sound dim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

What if that is why people prefer to work?

It sure sounds like it, kind of sad. I was hoping to see more passion for the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a career in finance that I enjoyed, but then DC was born. Doing childcare, tending the home and working was very exhausting so I deprioritized my career. Although I had some success as an employer my husband was way more successful so it didn't make sense for me to be employed. I know women married to high earning men, but they still work even after having more than one child. I can't understand this, how can they do it all? I'm genuinely curious.

Honestly? Because it’s easier. I’m speaking about when the kids are younger / pre elementary school age, to be clear - but, it was a lot easier once I went back to work.

I CAN’T “do it all,” and I don’t - nor does anyone who works outside the home, by definition (again, talking about when there are little kids involved). But I feel so much less guilty outsourcing some things, paying for help, lowering my standards in multiple different areas, and just generally giving myself grace because I have a job as well. It’s ultimately easier