Should I Tell Him Abt My Friend's Violent Past
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Anonymous
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I have a good friend that I know and love dearly. Years ago When she was struggling I allowed her and her children to move in with my DC and me. (We were both single moms.) She'd gotten Into some legal trouble when she attacked a guy she was dating. Things got so bad she Left the state to get away from it all. Fast forward 10 years and she's completely reinvented herself in this new state: luxury car, kid in private school (the other two off to college) and getting ready to marry an impressive guy who seems to be loaded (put her up in a fancy home).
Me and some other mutual friends were invited to her engagement party in two weeks. I asked her if she'd told him about her assault case from 10 yrs ago. She said no and was shocked I thought he should know about an 'old situation'. I said it's not the guy but the CASE he should know about in case anything comes up later on in the marriage, as I believe in TOTAL honesty in relationships-especially when the person's going to be a life partner. She said 'Well that's DONE!' and claims she doesn't remember the guy's name. My friends and I are wondering if I/we should tell her fiancé about this when we go up for the party. It wouldn't be done AT the actual party but at some point during the weekend. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
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STFU and MYOB. Good Grief! |
Anonymous
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Why?
What if it was you or your son? What if she attacks him during an argument? The guilt would be on my conscience. |
Anonymous
| I think people make mistakes they should not be held accountable for the rest of their lives and especially not by you. Obviously, the law was followed and I would leave it at that. If the guy wanted to run a background check he would have. |
Anonymous
| So she's had 10 years and hasn't had any more incidents? I say let it go. This is her relationship and she can decide what to disclose and what not to, it's not your job. If she's truly a good friend, you'll support her, even if this comes back to bite her in the ass. |
Anonymous
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I hate people like you, OP. You were super happy to pretend to be a good friend when she was fucked up, but the second she got it together and started doing well, you'll do anything you can to undermine and sabotage her life.
You sound bitter and insecure and jealous. Your friend should cut you off. You are massive jerk. |
Anonymous
Frankly I don't know if there have been other incidents. Seems she tries to appear perfect and keep things like that hidden. I'm trying to be her friend by making sure it doesn't bite her in the ass by encouraging her to be honest upfront. |
Anonymous
This. WTF is wrong with you? |
Anonymous
No you really aren't trying to be her friend. You are trying to make sure she does what YOU think is right. Live your life and let her live hers. She is not your child. |
Anonymous
| WTF???!! Of course you shouldn't say anything!! What's wrong with you? |
Anonymous
1. Bringing her and her 3 kids into my home rent free was not pretense. I was a single mother too so it was a great sacrifice to me. 2. I have no reason to be jealous. My fiancé is equally successful as hers. |
Anonymous
Well, wouldn't you try to move past something like that too? Surely you've made mistakes in your life that you don't disclose to everyone. And frankly, the bolded makes it sound like you don't have a very high opinion of your friend. Maybe she's better off without a friend like you. It doesn't sound like you're trying to do her any favors by disclosing something she has already said she doesn't want to disclose. A true friend would respect that. From what you've told us, I don't get the feeling that her fiancé is in any imminent danger, so myob. |
Anonymous
| WHAT IF HER FIANCÉ WERE YOU OR YOUR SON?? |
Anonymous
You are not her friend. |
Anonymous
You sound completely crazy. Please do this woman a favor and stay away from her. You are not a friend. AT ALL |