Should I Tell Him Abt My Friend's Violent Past

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She better hope her DH doesn't have a job or family situation that requires extensive background checks on him and his wife. My DH and I have gone through several and we don't work for the government.

OP here-
Exactly!

People have a right to know who they're marrying. This could bite him in the butt someday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly was the "assault"? To me, there's a big difference between someone who pushes someone during a fight, and someone who beats another person with a golf club. Not that either is right, but there's a huge difference in the risk she potentially poses to someone.

Either way, though, this was ten years ago and you have no reason to believe she's been violent since, yet you still want her to bring this up to her fiance. I suspect there's more than a little jealousy going on here that she's landed the guy with lots of money, and on some level you want her to get what's coming to her, in your mind, and lose her fiance.

I really don't know all the details or the guy. It seems she went into a violent rage and started smacking him around when she caught him with another woman. I just got the call from jail asking me to pick her kids up from school. Then I went to the court and picked her up.

[Anonymous]

Why would it even occur to you to do such a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here who said no...just wanted to ask...do you think she is a danger to her fiancé?

I don't know. She could be. The point is he has a right to know wouldn't you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly was the "assault"? To me, there's a big difference between someone who pushes someone during a fight, and someone who beats another person with a golf club. Not that either is right, but there's a huge difference in the risk she potentially poses to someone.

Either way, though, this was ten years ago and you have no reason to believe she's been violent since, yet you still want her to bring this up to her fiance. I suspect there's more than a little jealousy going on here that she's landed the guy with lots of money, and on some level you want her to get what's coming to her, in your mind, and lose her fiance.

I really don't know all the details or the guy. It seems she went into a violent rage and started smacking him around when she caught him with another woman. I just got the call from jail asking me to pick her kids up from school. Then I went to the court and picked her up.

She slaps him a few times when he catches him cheating and you think she poses some big safety threat to this new guy? You don't even appear to know if she was convicted or pled guilty, just that she was accused.

Bitter, jealous harpy is not a good look for spring.

[Anonymous]

If the friend was a guy with a domestic assault in his past about to marry some wonderful woman, would posters be giving the same advice to let bygones be bygones? http://time.com/2921491/hope-solo-women-violence/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate people like you, OP. You were super happy to pretend to be a good friend when she was fucked up, but the second she got it together and started doing well, you'll do anything you can to undermine and sabotage her life.

You sound bitter and insecure and jealous.

Your friend should cut you off. You are massive jerk.

Well said, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the friend was a guy with a domestic assault in his past about to marry some wonderful woman, would posters be giving the same advice to let bygones be bygones? http://time.com/2921491/hope-solo-women-violence/

If the guy had one episode ten years ago (where it wasn't even clear he injured someone, was convicted, etc.) and nothing since, I wouldn't be insisting that everyone know about it. Sometimes people actually do change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the friend was a guy with a domestic assault in his past about to marry some wonderful woman, would posters be giving the same advice to let bygones be bygones? http://time.com/2921491/hope-solo-women-violence/

THANK YOU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the friend was a guy with a domestic assault in his past about to marry some wonderful woman, would posters be giving the same advice to let bygones be bygones? http://time.com/2921491/hope-solo-women-violence/

If the guy had one episode ten years ago (where it wasn't even clear he injured someone, was convicted, etc.) and nothing since, I wouldn't be insisting that everyone know about it. Sometimes people actually do change.

The guy had a scratch on his face that was likely deep and may have needed stitches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She better hope her DH doesn't have a job or family situation that requires extensive background checks on him and his wife. My DH and I have gone through several and we don't work for the government.

OP here-
Exactly!

People have a right to know who they're marrying. This could bite him in the butt someday.

Pp here. He has the right to know but she should tell him, not you. Personally, I would not want put myself in a situation where a potentially violent person might blame me for the breakup of their engagement.

[Anonymous]

WTF. Leave her alone, OP. She's reinvented her life. It sounds like it was a really tough phase. goodness....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate people like you, OP. You were super happy to pretend to be a good friend when she was fucked up, but the second she got it together and started doing well, you'll do anything you can to undermine and sabotage her life.

You sound bitter and insecure and jealous.

Your friend should cut you off. You are massive jerk.

Well said, PP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She better hope her DH doesn't have a job or family situation that requires extensive background checks on him and his wife. My DH and I have gone through several and we don't work for the government.

OP here-
Exactly!

People have a right to know who they're marrying. This could bite him in the butt someday.

So you're looking out for him, not her is that it?
Do you even know this man to warrant your decision for going all out to ensure his well-being?
Exactly!
OP mind your business and get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the friend was a guy with a domestic assault in his past about to marry some wonderful woman, would posters be giving the same advice to let bygones be bygones? http://time.com/2921491/hope-solo-women-violence/

If the guy had one episode ten years ago (where it wasn't even clear he injured someone, was convicted, etc.) and nothing since, I wouldn't be insisting that everyone know about it. Sometimes people actually do change.

So if it wasn't that bad and nothing like it ever happened again, why wouldn't he just tell his future life partner?