Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

I think of these as school events no different from going to the school gala or a PA meeting, even though the venue is different. I would not be expecting the casualness of removing shoes. If you are hosting what is essentially the equivalent of a business gathering, you should treat it as such. You don't take your shoes off at a business event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

[Anonymous]

Buy shoe covers like the ones painters contractors use, they have them in black too so they don’t stand out. I use these in the winter.

But for a big, one time party. I won’t sweat it, allow shoes and rent a carpet cleaner after the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

There have been plenty of posts here, I assume from locals, objecting to having to go shoeless, so maybe the PP is getting the idea from all the other posts?

And the OP isn't looking for some ultimate truth about shoelessness. She knows what she does for her family and friends. She asks, "Will it be strange to ask guests to take their shoes off?" So she knows there's a divide.

(To the OP, if you haven't decided yet: Include the information on the invitation, mention that you'll have shoe covers available if you decide to do that, and let what happens happen.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

NP here, but, is this really true? In the DC area? We are in NoVa and, where we live, at least, people always semi-expect to take shoes off in the home. Maybe because our school is around 50% Asian/Muslim but it's pretty standard. No one is offended, most expect it. I'm really struggling to figure out where people live that this idea is "so crazy and unexpected"???

Agreed. This isn't uncommon anymore. The few people who are so rabid to keep their shoes on likely know many people who do this, they just refuse to associate with them lest someone see their nasty feet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy shoe covers like the ones painters contractors use, they have them in black too so they don’t stand out. I use these in the winter.

But for a big, one time party. I won’t sweat it, allow shoes and rent a carpet cleaner after the party.

Ok. Do shoe covers work well with stilettos? I usually wear them with my standard LBD to parties.

[Anonymous]

I keep a shoe free house but I totally get that shoes are a part of the outfit. I solve this problem for myself by carrying a pair of suede ballet flats I only wear indoors. They go with most of my outfits . I take off my street shoes and put these on. No one objects.

[Anonymous]

I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy shoe covers like the ones painters contractors use, they have them in black too so they don’t stand out. I use these in the winter.

But for a big, one time party. I won’t sweat it, allow shoes and rent a carpet cleaner after the party.

Ok. Do shoe covers work well with stilettos? I usually wear them with my standard LBD to parties.

Your stank ass won’t be invited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

Find me a dinner party with everyone's shoes off. How stupid and btw, pretty base. Some false idea about cleanliness- do you enjoy athlete's foot or warts? I think not.
Grow up. Put your damn clothes on and, yeah, keep them on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

Find me a dinner party with everyone's shoes off. How stupid and btw, pretty base. Some false idea about cleanliness- do you enjoy athlete's foot or warts? I think not.
Grow up. Put your damn clothes on and, yeah, keep them on.

You are unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Typical cracker response

Find me a dinner party with everyone's shoes off. How stupid and btw, pretty base. Some false idea about cleanliness- do you enjoy athlete's foot or warts? I think not.
Grow up. Put your damn clothes on and, yeah, keep them on.

Shoes are not clothes. They are shoes. Not the same. Stay home and eat your white trash meatballs with grape jelly.

[Anonymous]

Crazy. Don’t you clean your floors? Have the party but do a deep clean when everyone leaves the day after. Where are you going to store the 30 pairs of shoes when these guests take them off? Don’t host if you cannot feel comfortable with this.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

Nobody is saying that guests shouldn’t follow your rules. What we are saying is that if you put your rather arbitrary rules ahead of your guests’ comfort and enjoyment, you’re not a good host. So I would of course follow your rules but if I was made to feel completely uncomfortable at your home, I would know to decline future invitations from you, because you clearly aren’t comfortable with other people being in your home.

I keep a shoes-off house myself. But I would never dream of asking a large number of adults I had taken it upon myself to invite to my home for a party to take their shoes off. Their comfort is more important to me than the cleanliness of my floors for that one evening. [/quot

THIS. Someone reasonable!