Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I will see what other families do and how formal these events are. I assumed that they would be casual get togethers. People on here make it sound like a formal dinner party. We do have a very large house and can host hundred of people in our home. We also have a very large backyard. If we want to impress these people, we can but I’m not sure it is worth the effort.

I was out with my kids today and thinking about how people walk outside and walk inside their shoes. After posting this thread, I thought I should just let people walk around our house with shoes and I just can’t do it. Of course if someone feels that uncomfortable, they can keep their shoes on or if they have a medical condition.

If this is your motivation for hosting, don’t bother. Most will not be impressed with having to walk barefoot over the large areas of your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I will see what other families do and how formal these events are. I assumed that they would be casual get togethers. People on here make it sound like a formal dinner party. We do have a very large house and can host hundred of people in our home. We also have a very large backyard. If we want to impress these people, we can but I’m not sure it is worth the effort.

I was out with my kids today and thinking about how people walk outside and walk inside their shoes. After posting this thread, I thought I should just let people walk around our house with shoes and I just can’t do it. Of course if someone feels that uncomfortable, they can keep their shoes on or if they have a medical condition.

If this is your motivation for hosting, don’t bother. Most will not be impressed with having to walk barefoot over the large areas of your home.

Not my motivation at all. I actually host frequently but never invited anyone we don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I will see what other families do and how formal these events are. I assumed that they would be casual get togethers. People on here make it sound like a formal dinner party. We do have a very large house and can host hundred of people in our home. We also have a very large backyard. If we want to impress these people, we can but I’m not sure it is worth the effort.

I was out with my kids today and thinking about how people walk outside and walk inside their shoes. After posting this thread, I thought I should just let people walk around our house with shoes and I just can’t do it. Of course if someone feels that uncomfortable, they can keep their shoes on or if they have a medical condition.

If this is your motivation for hosting, don’t bother. Most will not be impressed with having to walk barefoot over the large areas of your home.

Not my motivation at all. I actually host frequently but never invited anyone we don’t know.

Well, that’s not what you wrote in previous post. Anyway, theme it as pajama party so everyone shows up in slippers then. Problem solved. You get brownie point for hosting, everyone sees how big of a house you have, and everyone is wearing slippers as part of the theme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I will see what other families do and how formal these events are. I assumed that they would be casual get togethers. People on here make it sound like a formal dinner party. We do have a very large house and can host hundred of people in our home. We also have a very large backyard. If we want to impress these people, we can but I’m not sure it is worth the effort.

I was out with my kids today and thinking about how people walk outside and walk inside their shoes. After posting this thread, I thought I should just let people walk around our house with shoes and I just can’t do it. Of course if someone feels that uncomfortable, they can keep their shoes on or if they have a medical condition.

If this is your motivation for hosting, don’t bother. Most will not be impressed with having to walk barefoot over the large areas of your home.

Not my motivation at all. I actually host frequently but never invited anyone we don’t know.

Well, that’s not what you wrote in previous post. Anyway, theme it as pajama party so everyone shows up in slippers then. Problem solved. You get brownie point for hosting, everyone sees how big of a house you have, and everyone is wearing slippers as part of the theme.

Most people at this school are rich. We are also rich. I doubt we are the only people who have a big house. Some people on the internet are so odd.

[Anonymous]

Fo most Americans, when they are attending a large social gathering, they don't expect to take their shoes off. If it's hundreds of people, a really high percentage of them are going to feel weird wandering around in socks or barefoot. They won't be prepared for it. If you are really insistent on things, I'd either cancel the social function or make peace with some vacuuming and mopping afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gracious host doesn’t ask their guests to remove their shoes.

Yes they do. I am the hostess either the mostest and have fabulous parties with great food, drinks and convo. People respect me and my beautiful home and take off their shoes. Never had a single issue. Period.

You never have a single issue because you have *gracious guests* dumdum! Whatever food you have catered is good enough, or your guests like your spouse enough, that they are willing to smile and nod and put up with you for a reason. But none of that makes you a gracious host.

[Anonymous]

I'm so glad we send our kids to public schools so that we can ask people to take their shoes off at the door, as befitting of people of our class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A gracious host doesn’t ask their guests to remove their shoes.

A gracious guest abides by their hosts rules.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

I think shoes off for 40 or so people is different. My friend who is a shoeless house had her party outside because she didn't want to deal with it.

I live on the west coast. This party would definitely be outside so it would be a non issue. But what do people do in snowy wintery places? Do people insist on wearing their slushy salty shoes inside someone’s house to hide their ingrown toenails?

No, of course not.

The fact that you have to suggest anyone thinks that way should tip you off to the weakness of your argument, but I'm betting it won't.

OP, just say on the invitation that yours is a shoes-off household for everyone, including guests. Then people can decide whether they want to be guests or not.

Then what do they do with their nasty shoes in the winter?

Have you heard about winter boots? No, they aren't worn in the house. Most people wear socks when it's cold.

So they keep their boots at the door? And then what go barefoot or in socks? Sounds like people can manage without footwear just fine.

Socks, which a lot probably aren't wearing now. Sometimes people bring shoes with them if they can't be without support for long.

Interesting so they should be easily able to adapt to this because they already do it for part of the year.

Agreed. Bizarre how people are acting like this is some insane concept when half the US probably does it all winter anyways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gracious host doesn’t ask their guests to remove their shoes.

A gracious guest abides by their hosts rules.

And most people will. I'd happily and graciously remove my shoes but I would think the host was neurotic and weird for asking. We have a no shoes house for the day to day but I wouldn't dream of hosting a large gathering and expecting people to take off their shoes. Extremely tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gracious host doesn’t ask their guests to remove their shoes.

A gracious guest abides by their hosts rules.

Of course they do, but that doesn't mean you have made them feel welcome and comfortable, as a host should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gracious host doesn’t ask their guests to remove their shoes.

A gracious guest abides by their hosts rules.

And most people will. I'd happily and graciously remove my shoes but I would think the host was neurotic and weird for asking. We have a no shoes house for the day to day but I wouldn't dream of hosting a large gathering and expecting people to take off their shoes. Extremely tacky.

Image the smell from the front door where hundreds of shoes are piling up like offerings to a neurotic god.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this. Since when does taking off shoes equal barefoot? Don’t people wear socks (most of the times)? If being barefoot makes you so uncomfortable, just wear socks.

Socks are a slipping invitation. I know someone who slipped and broke collar bone wearing socks at a "no shoes home" party. Why can't you just vacuum your floors after party like the rest of us?

LOL again, something that never happened.

My gosh, americans are just cowering in fear of removing their shoes lest they get some horrific disease or break bones? GMAFB. Making up sh!t like this doesnt make your position stronger, it weakens it that you have to go to such extreme lengths to try and smear it.

Then be a sh!tty host. People have told you they don’t want to take their shoes off but you’re going to insist they do anyway. There’s terrible hosting. So do what you want but you’re not in the right here. You’re making your guests uncomfortable on purpose.

NP.

No- sorry not sorry. Those are terrible guests for not removing shoes when requested.

People who dislike removing shoes in this situation are culturally insensitive. Maybe even borderline racists.

Ha, ok. You want to win because you think you can call people racist for not removing their shoes with no warning in a situation that is not expected (this is not an open house). You're not right and you're not better. You are, however, welcome to ask people to take their shoes off. And they are welcome to respond as they wish.

But it my house my rules. You can back da f away

DP but how do you not understand that the attitude of your response (my house my rules if you’re uncomfortable back da f away) is basically the definition of being a terrible host? Good hosts prioritize the comfort of their GUESTS, not themselves.

So as multiple people have said, if you’re not prepared to be a good host, just don’t host. Problem solved.

You keep forgetting that people need to be good GUESTS too. Saying "my shoes stay on no matter what" is just as poor of an attitude for a guest to have in someone elses home.

How your guests may or may not hypothetically behave has nothing whatsoever to do with whether you are being a good host. If you can ONLY act like a good host if all of your guests are perfectly behaved (according to your own rules of acceptable behavior) then you are NOT a good host.

To be fair, no one is obligated to host anything. If you don’t care at all about your guest’s comfort (which you clearly don’t) then just.don’t.host.

Most people have house rules. No smoking, pork not served, shoes off, no alcohol, feet off the furniture, to name a few. it’s not a free for all for the guests to do as they please and have everything as they like it. I tell my kids to be respectful in other’s homes and follow rules that may not be the same as at our home. And I will remind kids who visit my home “in this house we do X.” Did some adults actually not learn those rules themselves? You may not agree but it’s the norm to respect their rules and customs for the short time you visit once pointed out. If someone asked you to smoke outside would you actually not comply b/c it’s cold out and you don’t want to? That would be ridiculous.

You are missing the point.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For people saying that it's common to be asked to take off your shoes at the home of a stranger when you've been invited to for a large adult party, how often has this happened to you?

Never and if it did, I would leave. They might as well ask me to take off my clothes.

If being barefoot to you is the equivalent of being naked, you might consider some therapy. Because uh, that's beyond Puritan.

dp I also wouldn't want to walk around in bare feet.

Suddenly nobody wears socks anymore.

I don't wear socks with sandals

Or heels

People don't even wear socks with mocs or even fashion tennis shoes any more. I was at an event last night and noted only one person in the whole place wearing socks. Everyone else had on a shoe you wear with bare feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who knew DCUM was so disfigured/pathological foot fetishy? Wow.
FWIW we have indoor shoes and outdoor shoes and change in the entryways. Our white carpet thanks us.

The thread is not about your own home; it is about being an invited guest to an evening party with general acquaintances and more than a few people you won't know at all. The question is are you expecting to wear your shoes at this party and how would you feel if asked to remove them? This isn't about you at home or you having a friend over.