Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

We are an Asian American family and are a no shoe house. Our new private school has grade wide dinners where families take turns hosting.

Will it be strange to ask guests to take their shoes off?

We have hosted birthdays in preschool and no one seemed to mind. This would be many more people.

[Anonymous]

Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

[Anonymous]

No. I’ve done this a ton. And in my house everyone takes off their shoes and we are black.

[Anonymous]

People on DCUM are very divided on this. Search this topic and you’ll see pages and pages of discussion. I personally think for an adult social event that you should not ask for shoes off. If you’re concerned about dirt have your floors professionally cleaned afterwards.

[Anonymous]

I have a shoe-free house and don’t host large adult parties because this stresses me out. My friends are very vocal about how offended they are when they have to mess up their “look” by removing shoes.

[Anonymous]

So weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a shoe-free house and don’t host large adult parties because this stresses me out. My friends are very vocal about how offended they are when they have to mess up their “look” by removing shoes.

Op here. I once invited a coworker to a kid party at my house and she was the only one who kept her heels on. I didn’t ask her to take them off.

DH has suggested we invite his work colleagues over for dinner and we have not yet because the shoe thing bothers me. At least for DH’s colleagues, I don’t have to think about them running around in our bedrooms in their shoes.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine just make sure to let your guests know ahead of time. I showed up once at a grade-wide party and was asked to take off my shoes. I complied but was a bit embarrassed with the socks had worn.

[Anonymous]

If you have the no shoes party, some of your guests are going to feel uncomfortable, mortified or even offended whether you think they’re unreasonable/wrong or not.

If you have a party at your house with shoes, you’re going to be stressed and unhappy about the dirt.

If you host it somewhere else, everyone wins. This seems like a no brainer to me.

[Anonymous]

I think of the Sex and the City episode where Carrie was so unhappy that she had to take off her shoes. And the shoes were stolen. 😂

Aside from that, I'm in the camp that you don't ask adults to take off their shoes, especially for something that isn't just your friends getting together. A school event or a work event for your DH would be weird, imo. At the very least I guess you can say on the invite:
Shoe Free House

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have the no shoes party, some of your guests are going to feel uncomfortable, mortified or even offended whether you think they’re unreasonable/wrong or not.

If you have a party at your house with shoes, you’re going to be stressed and unhappy about the dirt.

If you host it somewhere else, everyone wins. This seems like a no brainer to me.

We haven’t started school yet. From my understanding, you are supposed to host at your house.

We are members at a country club and can host there or at a restaurant. I believe it is to promote bonding at people’s homes though.

[Anonymous]

Anyone offended by this request isn’t someone I would want to be friends with. Besides, most people know this is the norm for Asian families.

I am an uncouth Midwesterner who hosts a lot, and find that 90% of people ask whether they should take their shoes off as they come in.

[Anonymous]

We would not attend.

[Anonymous]

What do people do who don't have socks on? When I go out I usually wear some sort of heel with no socks. I would be weirded out that I had to walk around her house barefoot.

[Anonymous]

If more than two couples, i would not task anyone to take shoes off. Close doors to bedrooms and schedule cleaners for the next day. Remember that unless you are in a city, most people drive and just go to stores. My heels that i bring out for a party arent used for hiking.
I habe a shoes free household for us. But i would never ask my inlaws to take their orthopedic shoes off for example. When hosting, its about guest comfort.