Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Considering how many American men bemoan the fact on this website that their sexually experienced wives do not like sex anymore - I find it interesting that people are asking mothers to encourage their daughters to be sexually active before marriage.

Here is a good advice to all of you who are part of the "Sex Positive Culture" - how about the mothers encourage their daughters to actually have sex with their husbands?

I probably had 15 partners before marrying my DH (maybe more, maybe less, I have no clue).

I've been monogamous with my DH since 1998. We have 2 children and manage to have sex about 4 times a week. I always have enjoyed sex, always will. I have a healthy relationship with sex and my body. I'm not exactly into "my mother" giving me sex advice, that's gross. That would probably make my vagina shrivel up and dry out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hahahaha

I'm an NP but I'm just loling over the ignorance in this post. News flash: choosing to be abstinent until marriage is NOT a sex negative decision. I'm sorry you think anyone who has a number lower than one is a sadly repressed prude, but the truth is that you're wrong.

I didn't touch a man until I married my DH at 24. I was always a confident, emotionally healthy, and sexually curious virgin. I watched porn, read about sex, and was extremely educated by the time my fun and awesome wedding night came around. DH had been with other women before, but he was turned on and amazed by me because I knew exactly what I wanted and even iinstructed him on how to get me off when he went down on me.

I'm uninhibited, fun, sexually VERY confident, and know I'm probably the best lay DH has ever had. Oh, and he's the only man I've ever wanted.

So you can take your virgin-shaming bullshit and shove it up your ass. I'm sick of it. I really think it's the sexually active people in the world who have NO CLUE about how sexuality actually works.

What would you have done if he told you he doesn't like giving oral?

I'm curious how you were able to instruct him how exactly to get you off orally when you've never tried it before? Were you going by what you thought it would feel like? I understand trying it and going with the flow of the sensation but I don't understand how you could give him specific instructions on getting you off if you didn't know what it would take to get you off.
Well duh, we talked about our preferences and desires all through our courtship! Made for some very sexy conversations

Makes me think of that creepy Duggar courtship when they had a bunch of hand sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hahahaha

I'm an NP but I'm just loling over the ignorance in this post. News flash: choosing to be abstinent until marriage is NOT a sex negative decision. I'm sorry you think anyone who has a number lower than one is a sadly repressed prude, but the truth is that you're wrong.

I didn't touch a man until I married my DH at 24. I was always a confident, emotionally healthy, and sexually curious virgin. I watched porn, read about sex, and was extremely educated by the time my fun and awesome wedding night came around. DH had been with other women before, but he was turned on and amazed by me because I knew exactly what I wanted and even iinstructed him on how to get me off when he went down on me.

I'm uninhibited, fun, sexually VERY confident, and know I'm probably the best lay DH has ever had. Oh, and he's the only man I've ever wanted.

So you can take your virgin-shaming bullshit and shove it up your ass. I'm sick of it. I really think it's the sexually active people in the world who have NO CLUE about how sexuality actually works.

What would you have done if he told you he doesn't like giving oral?

I'm curious how you were able to instruct him how exactly to get you off orally when you've never tried it before? Were you going by what you thought it would feel like? I understand trying it and going with the flow of the sensation but I don't understand how you could give him specific instructions on getting you off if you didn't know what it would take to get you off.
Well duh, we talked about our preferences and desires all through our courtship! Made for some very sexy conversations

Makes me think of that creepy Duggar courtship when they had a bunch of hand sex.





What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

Yea, uh definitely different….to say the least.

Arranged marriages are alien to me. Seems like rape to me to have sex with a man your parents have chosen for you to marry. Absolutly archaic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

Yea, uh definitely different….to say the least.

Arranged marriages are alien to me. Seems like rape to me to have sex with a man your parents have chosen for you to marry. Absolutly archaic.

Then you do not have any understanding of how arranged marriages work nowadays. Brides and grooms have a choice of who they want to marry, even if it is an arranged marriage. They typically meet a few times IRL, chat on line, on phone, skype ...before they make their choice to marry. Yes, the parents and relatives play a huge part in vetting the family of the prospective bride/groom as well as the bride/groom before they are even considered for marriage.

Anyways, I am sure it is alien to you. After all, in your culture it is considered ok to spread your legs to every loser who buys you a drink in a bar...now that seems like prostitution to me. No wonder you have such a high divorce rate. I find the idea that someone thinks that after 15 what the kids do is not the business of the parents - very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

Yea, uh definitely different….to say the least.

Arranged marriages are alien to me. Seems like rape to me to have sex with a man your parents have chosen for you to marry. Absolutly archaic.

Then you do not have any understanding of how arranged marriages work nowadays. Brides and grooms have a choice of who they want to marry, even if it is an arranged marriage. They typically meet a few times IRL, chat on line, on phone, skype ...before they make their choice to marry. Yes, the parents and relatives play a huge part in vetting the family of the prospective bride/groom as well as the bride/groom before they are even considered for marriage.

Anyways, I am sure it is alien to you. After all, in your culture it is considered ok to spread your legs to every loser who buys you a drink in a bar...now that seems like prostitution to me. No wonder you have such a high divorce rate. I find the idea that someone thinks that after 15 what the kids do is not the business of the parents - very sad.

Oh stop being so sensitive. I'm Indian as well and don't think it's my business to be dictating how many sex partners my daughter should have. Obviously, I don't want her to ever feel degraded or hurt, but if her future husband isn't her first partner, not my business. As far as the divorce rate, negative stigma and being an outcast from the community plays a large part into why there aren't as many Indian couples you hear divorcing, not because an arranged marriage is the magic trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

Yea, uh definitely different….to say the least.

Arranged marriages are alien to me. Seems like rape to me to have sex with a man your parents have chosen for you to marry. Absolutly archaic.

Then you do not have any understanding of how arranged marriages work nowadays. Brides and grooms have a choice of who they want to marry, even if it is an arranged marriage. They typically meet a few times IRL, chat on line, on phone, skype ...before they make their choice to marry. Yes, the parents and relatives play a huge part in vetting the family of the prospective bride/groom as well as the bride/groom before they are even considered for marriage.

Anyways, I am sure it is alien to you. After all, in your culture it is considered ok to spread your legs to every loser who buys you a drink in a bar...now that seems like prostitution to me. No wonder you have such a high divorce rate. I find the idea that someone thinks that after 15 what the kids do is not the business of the parents - very sad.

Oh stop being so sensitive. I'm Indian as well and don't think it's my business to be dictating how many sex partners my daughter should have. Obviously, I don't want her to ever feel degraded or hurt, but if her future husband isn't her first partner, not my business. As far as the divorce rate, negative stigma and being an outcast from the community plays a large part into why there aren't as many Indian couples you hear divorcing, not because an arranged marriage is the magic trick.

Not being sensitive at all. Parents should want their kids to be in healthy and mature relationships - not have a number in their mind of how many sexual partners they should have prior to marriage.

It should not matter if a person is a virgin or not when they marry or even if it is an arranged marriage or not - in the end what does matter is that there is communication, respect and honesty within the marriage. Having multiple sexual partners (or none) before marriage does not guarantee that anyone has a better chance of being happily married.

Ignorant PP above thought that arranged marriage is akin to rape. Words are cheap - ask a rape victim what rape is really like. Anyways - the flip side of the coin is that random hooking up is akin to prostitution (where the woman actually does not get paid). Does that sound insulting, ignorant and culturally insensitive? Well, then my public service for the day is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering how many American men bemoan the fact on this website that their sexually experienced wives do not like sex anymore - I find it interesting that people are asking mothers to encourage their daughters to be sexually active before marriage.

Here is a good advice to all of you who are part of the "Sex Positive Culture" - how about the mothers encourage their daughters to actually have sex with their husbands?

I probably had 15 partners before marrying my DH (maybe more, maybe less, I have no clue).

No clue? You can't remember each one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

Yea, uh definitely different….to say the least.

Arranged marriages are alien to me. Seems like rape to me to have sex with a man your parents have chosen for you to marry. Absolutly archaic.

Then you do not have any understanding of how arranged marriages work nowadays. Brides and grooms have a choice of who they want to marry, even if it is an arranged marriage. They typically meet a few times IRL, chat on line, on phone, skype ...before they make their choice to marry. Yes, the parents and relatives play a huge part in vetting the family of the prospective bride/groom as well as the bride/groom before they are even considered for marriage.

Anyways, I am sure it is alien to you. After all, in your culture it is considered ok to spread your legs to every loser who buys you a drink in a bar...now that seems like prostitution to me. No wonder you have such a high divorce rate. I find the idea that someone thinks that after 15 what the kids do is not the business of the parents - very sad.

Oh stop being so sensitive. I'm Indian as well and don't think it's my business to be dictating how many sex partners my daughter should have. Obviously, I don't want her to ever feel degraded or hurt, but if her future husband isn't her first partner, not my business. As far as the divorce rate, negative stigma and being an outcast from the community plays a large part into why there aren't as many Indian couples you hear divorcing, not because an arranged marriage is the magic trick.

Not being sensitive at all. Parents should want their kids to be in healthy and mature relationships - not have a number in their mind of how many sexual partners they should have prior to marriage.

It should not matter if a person is a virgin or not when they marry or even if it is an arranged marriage or not - in the end what does matter is that there is communication, respect and honesty within the marriage. Having multiple sexual partners (or none) before marriage does not guarantee that anyone has a better chance of being happily married.

Ignorant PP above thought that arranged marriage is akin to rape. Words are cheap - ask a rape victim what rape is really like. Anyways - the flip side of the coin is that random hooking up is akin to prostitution (where the woman actually does not get paid). Does that sound insulting, ignorant and culturally insensitive? Well, then my public service for the day is done.

No shortage of rape victims in India to poll.

I'm not taking marriage or sex advice from a woman from India. Women in India are luck to make it past birth.

[Anonymous]

I find this thread really creepy and crazy. How is it any of your business how many sex partners your adult daughter will have?

Of course, they should practice safe sex to avoid STDs and pregnancy and understand that sex is an intimate act, but really? Have an opinion on what their "number" should be? How many of you have babies--you can't control every aspect of your child's life, especially once they become teens/adults.

My philosophy is that it is none of my business. Everyone has different sexual desires and attitudes, and everyone goes about finding their life partner differently. As long as they are happy, well adjusted, and safe I don't want to know about it.

[Anonymous]

I had about 50 partners before I married DH. We've been married for five years and have two small kids. Last year he got diagnosed with MS, and his libido, along with penile sensitivity, went bye-bye.

You bet I'm glad I had sex with fifty men before I married him. I wish I had more. If I knew my sex life would end at 41, you bet I would cram as much as possible into these years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age of consent is 15. After that, it's not any of my business.

Maybe this is because I'm Indian and come from a different background and different idea about family, but this kind of thinking is just very alien to me. : /

Yea, uh definitely different….to say the least.

Arranged marriages are alien to me. Seems like rape to me to have sex with a man your parents have chosen for you to marry. Absolutly archaic.

Parents don't choose your partner for you in an arranged marriage, they simply vet them, their family and their intentions before you meet. I wouldn't mind that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh stop being so sensitive. I'm Indian as well and don't think it's my business to be dictating how many sex partners my daughter should have. Obviously, I don't want her to ever feel degraded or hurt, but if her future husband isn't her first partner, not my business. As far as the divorce rate, negative stigma and being an outcast from the community plays a large part into why there aren't as many Indian couples you hear divorcing, not because an arranged marriage is the magic trick.

I'm the Indian PP that you accused of being sensitive. Maybe you had a reading comprehension problem of some kind? I'm sorry that you think polite disagreement on how we view children is called being "sensitive". If anything, you're the one who is defensively arguing your position and you come across as much more "sensitive".