Women who say they get hit on everywhere they go

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 40s and don't think of myself as getting hit on a lot, but I get catcalled/harassed with some frequency on the street, as well as "hit on" in a nicer way (still wildly inappropriate IMO). If I'm out in public without my husband and kid (and sometimes with my kid), I'll get hit on sometimes in restaurants and so on. I've been sent flowers by strangers, though not often! I get hit on via DM on Facebook by RL acquaintances. When I worked in any sort of public setting, especially social/food service, it definitely also happened.

I got married very young in part, I think, to avoid it, but if it's worked, it hasn't worked that well. I always wear my wedding ring, etc. Doesn't seem to matter that much.

I don't know why. I know I'm attractive and very curvy, but I'm often dressed a bit schlumpy, I'm kind of socially awkward, don't make a lot of eye contact and almost never give off a flirty vibe. I've assumed for years I get an average amount of this kind of attention, but that may not be true. I just don't know how to handle it and don't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have very different ideas of what it is to get hit on!

I don't consider random compliments on my appearance from men to be getting hit on unless they are clearly doing it to start a conversation with me or continue the interaction. So an older man on the street saying "nice coat" is not hitting on me. He is complimenting my coat. I compliment random people's clothes on the street all the time. Women do this to each other to. Complimenting your hair or eyes or even just saying you look pretty is a bit more of something, but again, if it's just said in passing and then people go on with their day, no one has hit on anyone.

Catcalls and harassment are definitely not getting hit on. Ladies, come on. Some guy yelling at you about your boobs or grabbing himself as you jog by is not hitting on you! Stop with this nonsense.

Men in service roles providing good customer service and nothing else (even free items) are not hitting on you. They are working. It has to go beyond serving your lunch to count.

To me, someone is hitting on me if they are trying to to talk to me and suss out if I'm available, if I'm interested in them, and maybe ask me out. Sometimes it doesn't get to the asking out stage but it's really obvious what the intention is. So like when I random guy starts talking to me at a coffee shop or bar and asking questions about my life, maybe in addition to complimenting me or saying stuff like "you seem like the kind of of woman who..." -- that's hitting on someone.

Seriously, some of you are acting like any man talking to you while being friendly is hitting on you. Which, if a man said this, he would get called an incel and delusional. Sometimes people are just being friendly. That doesn't mean their trying to date you.

I posted earlier on page 1, and I'm still puzzled about my interactions. Is it just a part of customer service to enter your phone number into someone else's phone and then text them after, either asking for a picture or offering to meet up? Is it just being friendly to walk up to a stranger and say, "I don't mean to bother you, but you are a beautiful woman. Are you from around here?"

My take on these interactions -- which I have NEVER mentioned to anyone other than here, and dodged as quickly as I could -- was that they were likely hitting on me. Is that being delusional? Sincere question.

Wait. What? Maybe im misunderstanding your comment but why on earth would a stranger be holding your phone so they could enter their number? And then texting asking for a PICTURE?!! So incredibly creepy. This isn’t even being hit on this is just complete creep behavior. Did I read this wrong??

I don't think you read my original post on the first page.

In the first example, it was the guy in the store selling me a cell phone, and he entered his number so I could "text him if I had any problems or questions about it." And then he texted me a week later to see how things were going with the phone and offered to show me some of the local sights. Either just good customer service, or a simple compliment, according to a PP. Which, sure -- great customer service? I also thought ti was creeping.

The other was a similar sales situation, but a bit more contrived. No matter -- I also found it creepy, and I have too much going on to keep up with in my life right now anyway.

I've had cable guys give me their numbers to text if I have more issues. In no way do I think they are hitting on me. Come on, some of you are not nearly as fabulous as you think you are. I'm not fabulous, I just think they are doing their jobs and trying to get me to give them 5 stars or whatever on a customer survey review so they can win a prize.

Not to press a point, but did the cable guys also offer to be your guide to the local attractions? That was the point that pushed me into "huh, I think he is hitting on me."

Sure it happens, rarely, but if this happens all the time i doubt you are reading the situation correctly. A lot of the so called examples have been pretty dubious. Also if a guy is that quick to hit on you, you are definitely not the only one he’s doing that with. Avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have very different ideas of what it is to get hit on!

I don't consider random compliments on my appearance from men to be getting hit on unless they are clearly doing it to start a conversation with me or continue the interaction. So an older man on the street saying "nice coat" is not hitting on me. He is complimenting my coat. I compliment random people's clothes on the street all the time. Women do this to each other to. Complimenting your hair or eyes or even just saying you look pretty is a bit more of something, but again, if it's just said in passing and then people go on with their day, no one has hit on anyone.

Catcalls and harassment are definitely not getting hit on. Ladies, come on. Some guy yelling at you about your boobs or grabbing himself as you jog by is not hitting on you! Stop with this nonsense.

Men in service roles providing good customer service and nothing else (even free items) are not hitting on you. They are working. It has to go beyond serving your lunch to count.

To me, someone is hitting on me if they are trying to to talk to me and suss out if I'm available, if I'm interested in them, and maybe ask me out. Sometimes it doesn't get to the asking out stage but it's really obvious what the intention is. So like when I random guy starts talking to me at a coffee shop or bar and asking questions about my life, maybe in addition to complimenting me or saying stuff like "you seem like the kind of of woman who..." -- that's hitting on someone.

Seriously, some of you are acting like any man talking to you while being friendly is hitting on you. Which, if a man said this, he would get called an incel and delusional. Sometimes people are just being friendly. That doesn't mean their trying to date you.

I posted earlier on page 1, and I'm still puzzled about my interactions. Is it just a part of customer service to enter your phone number into someone else's phone and then text them after, either asking for a picture or offering to meet up? Is it just being friendly to walk up to a stranger and say, "I don't mean to bother you, but you are a beautiful woman. Are you from around here?"

My take on these interactions -- which I have NEVER mentioned to anyone other than here, and dodged as quickly as I could -- was that they were likely hitting on me. Is that being delusional? Sincere question.

Wait. What? Maybe im misunderstanding your comment but why on earth would a stranger be holding your phone so they could enter their number? And then texting asking for a PICTURE?!! So incredibly creepy. This isn’t even being hit on this is just complete creep behavior. Did I read this wrong??

I don't think you read my original post on the first page.

In the first example, it was the guy in the store selling me a cell phone, and he entered his number so I could "text him if I had any problems or questions about it." And then he texted me a week later to see how things were going with the phone and offered to show me some of the local sights. Either just good customer service, or a simple compliment, according to a PP. Which, sure -- great customer service? I also thought ti was creeping.

The other was a similar sales situation, but a bit more contrived. No matter -- I also found it creepy, and I have too much going on to keep up with in my life right now anyway.

I've had cable guys give me their numbers to text if I have more issues. In no way do I think they are hitting on me. Come on, some of you are not nearly as fabulous as you think you are. I'm not fabulous, I just think they are doing their jobs and trying to get me to give them 5 stars or whatever on a customer survey review so they can win a prize.

Not to press a point, but did the cable guys also offer to be your guide to the local attractions? That was the point that pushed me into "huh, I think he is hitting on me."

Sure it happens, rarely, but if this happens all the time i doubt you are reading the situation correctly. A lot of the so called examples have been pretty dubious. Also if a guy is that quick to hit on you, you are definitely not the only one he’s doing that with. Avoid.

Of course. (?) Who would respond to that?

[Anonymous]

I think, in general, creepers go harder after women that seem passive and easy to manipulate, it’s not about how they look except that they may come off as naive. Attractive women who frequent bars or places where other single people congregate get hit on based on looks and how approachable they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have very different ideas of what it is to get hit on!

I don't consider random compliments on my appearance from men to be getting hit on unless they are clearly doing it to start a conversation with me or continue the interaction. So an older man on the street saying "nice coat" is not hitting on me. He is complimenting my coat. I compliment random people's clothes on the street all the time. Women do this to each other to. Complimenting your hair or eyes or even just saying you look pretty is a bit more of something, but again, if it's just said in passing and then people go on with their day, no one has hit on anyone.

Catcalls and harassment are definitely not getting hit on. Ladies, come on. Some guy yelling at you about your boobs or grabbing himself as you jog by is not hitting on you! Stop with this nonsense.

Men in service roles providing good customer service and nothing else (even free items) are not hitting on you. They are working. It has to go beyond serving your lunch to count.

To me, someone is hitting on me if they are trying to to talk to me and suss out if I'm available, if I'm interested in them, and maybe ask me out. Sometimes it doesn't get to the asking out stage but it's really obvious what the intention is. So like when I random guy starts talking to me at a coffee shop or bar and asking questions about my life, maybe in addition to complimenting me or saying stuff like "you seem like the kind of of woman who..." -- that's hitting on someone.

Seriously, some of you are acting like any man talking to you while being friendly is hitting on you. Which, if a man said this, he would get called an incel and delusional. Sometimes people are just being friendly. That doesn't mean their trying to date you.

I posted earlier on page 1, and I'm still puzzled about my interactions. Is it just a part of customer service to enter your phone number into someone else's phone and then text them after, either asking for a picture or offering to meet up? Is it just being friendly to walk up to a stranger and say, "I don't mean to bother you, but you are a beautiful woman. Are you from around here?"

My take on these interactions -- which I have NEVER mentioned to anyone other than here, and dodged as quickly as I could -- was that they were likely hitting on me. Is that being delusional? Sincere question.

Wait. What? Maybe im misunderstanding your comment but why on earth would a stranger be holding your phone so they could enter their number? And then texting asking for a PICTURE?!! So incredibly creepy. This isn’t even being hit on this is just complete creep behavior. Did I read this wrong??

I don't think you read my original post on the first page.

In the first example, it was the guy in the store selling me a cell phone, and he entered his number so I could "text him if I had any problems or questions about it." And then he texted me a week later to see how things were going with the phone and offered to show me some of the local sights. Either just good customer service, or a simple compliment, according to a PP. Which, sure -- great customer service? I also thought ti was creeping.

The other was a similar sales situation, but a bit more contrived. No matter -- I also found it creepy, and I have too much going on to keep up with in my life right now anyway.

I've had cable guys give me their numbers to text if I have more issues. In no way do I think they are hitting on me. Come on, some of you are not nearly as fabulous as you think you are. I'm not fabulous, I just think they are doing their jobs and trying to get me to give them 5 stars or whatever on a customer survey review so they can win a prize.

Not to press a point, but did the cable guys also offer to be your guide to the local attractions? That was the point that pushed me into "huh, I think he is hitting on me."

Sure it happens, rarely, but if this happens all the time i doubt you are reading the situation correctly. A lot of the so called examples have been pretty dubious. Also if a guy is that quick to hit on you, you are definitely not the only one he’s doing that with. Avoid.

Of course. (?) Who would respond to that?

People who think they are getting hit on "everywhere they go" are paying too much attention to these encounters and/or misinterpreting them most of the time. It's just a guy being creepy, it's not even personal, he's not really trying to date them. I don't think strangers ask people out they literally just met.

[Anonymous]

Have you met men?

#notallmen
#butalotofthem

Seriously, there is a very visible subset of men who seem off the charts pissed that "you can't approach women in public anymore" and "how am I supposed to meet women now?" And there is another visible subset who just keep doing it anyway.

Are these great men? No. Should you be honored to be a target? No. Are they hitting on women? Yes.

It helps a lot to have RBF. When you have resting-friendly-face, not so helpful in these cases.

[Anonymous]

My wife is very friendly and engages everyone in conversation to the point that guys think their lame attempts at hitting on her are actually working. Many times we've gone out dancing, for example in a crowded bar.

If I leave her alone to make my way to the bathroom and back, there will be 3 or 4 guys standing around her chatting her up. I get a perverse thrill out of the pained look on their faces when I walk back up to her and they figure out we are together.

On another note, I have two guy friends who are kinda known for their claims of all the women that hit on them. What an ego. If you saw these guys, you would know it just isn't true.

I've also been accused of hitting on women, many times, just because I'm friendly and will talk to any woman. I don't care if she's the hottest chick in the bar, I'll still talk to her if I get the chance because...I really don't care. Nothing can compare to what I have or ever come between us. I'm a great wing-man for my single friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you met men?

#notallmen
#butalotofthem

Seriously, there is a very visible subset of men who seem off the charts pissed that "you can't approach women in public anymore" and "how am I supposed to meet women now?" And there is another visible subset who just keep doing it anyway.

Are these great men? No. Should you be honored to be a target? No. Are they hitting on women? Yes.

It helps a lot to have RBF. When you have resting-friendly-face, not so helpful in these cases.

The homeless man sitting in a cafe I was in the other day told me I had nice hair, then stared at me for awhile. Was he hitting on me? I don't tend to think of it as being hit on. Often times it's not legit or serious so I don't need to tell them "Sorry, I'm married."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Men in service roles providing good customer service and nothing else (even free items) are not hitting on you. They are working. It has to go beyond serving your lunch to count.

The bellman at a well known downtown hotel was giving me *EXCEPTIONAL* service, cleaning my car and loading my clothes into the dressers. He asked if I could do something for him--I said "Did you want me to write a note to the management of your exceptional service?", he said "Wear your bikini for me. You'll look good". He then started kissing me on the mouth intensely.

Whenever I'm at a restaurant and my colleague asks for separate, the winks, numbers, and after work meetup locations come out. Just because someone is service staff doesn't mean they are above pushing the envelope.

[Anonymous]

Does that homeless guy post online about how he's supposed to meet women if he can't approach strangers in public anymore?

Do you think a guy must be homeless if he does? Because if they are all homeless guys, then there are a lot of them, and I don't think there are enough public libraries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I use to have a game where I’d go sit at a bar alone where a lot of guys were and they’d usually check me out and then he’d show up and ask if he could sit next to me and then we’d pretend we had just met. He’d buy me a drink and then 30 minutes later we’d leave together. It was a stupid thing to do but we had fun. We’re too old to do it now!

Sounds like a cuck.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you met men?

#notallmen
#butalotofthem

Seriously, there is a very visible subset of men who seem off the charts pissed that "you can't approach women in public anymore" and "how am I supposed to meet women now?" And there is another visible subset who just keep doing it anyway.

Are these great men? No. Should you be honored to be a target? No. Are they hitting on women? Yes.

It helps a lot to have RBF. When you have resting-friendly-face, not so helpful in these cases.

The homeless man sitting in a cafe I was in the other day told me I had nice hair, then stared at me for awhile. Was he hitting on me? I don't tend to think of it as being hit on. Often times it's not legit or serious so I don't need to tell them "Sorry, I'm married."

To answe your question, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think, in general, creepers go harder after women that seem passive and easy to manipulate, it’s not about how they look except that they may come off as naive. Attractive women who frequent bars or places where other single people congregate get hit on based on looks and how approachable they are.

They just do it because it is a numbers game. Hit on a hundred women maybe 10 return interest, you sleep with two. Just google Asking 100 Girls For Sex or something like that.

[Anonymous]

a 20-year-old student and YouTube star from Santa Barbara — was paid to appear in the viral video, which was produced by "whatever" channel creator Brian Atlas.

The pair walked around Santa Barbara's Isla Vista neighborhood with Wendel approaching men on the street and asking, "Hey, do you want to have sex with me?" while Atlas filmed nearby with a hidden camera.

They tried to approach only men who were alone so that the responses would not be influenced by a group reaction

Of the 100 men featured in the video, 30 agreed to have sex with her, while 70 declined. Atlas told Business Insider that Wendel was more successful when she was wearing the black shirt versus the white shirt…

There were also a few instances in which the men were concerned about Wendel and questioned why she was going around asking the question in the first place.

https://www.businessinsider.com/woman-asks-100-men-to-sleep-with-her-2015-4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before I gained pandemic weight, I got hit on at bars, Wegman's, standing on the street, in Ubers.....

What do you think attracted them enough they didn't heed to the me too fears?

They started with a normal conversation, and I am friendly, so I chatted back. Then they asked for my number. I am in my 50s,