Women who say they get hit on everywhere they go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Disagree completely. Attractive women get this type of attention. Unattractive women do not. The attention and compliments do not mean you are getting “hit on.” These guys are respectfully and indirectly broadcasting their interest. This is because YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. It is flattering.
There is no need to come to Jesus wtf
You sound jealous - does it make you feel better to put down others for feeling good about themselves? Maybe it is you that needs to come to Jesus. Or go get a haircut or some makeup or something.

Your mistake is that you believe you receive attention from men mainly because you are attractive, not simply because you are a woman. Think for a moment.

Every day, women who are not deemed attractive receive attention from men. Have you ever been to a bar on or near a military base on a weekend night? Almost every woman in the bar receives a huge amount of attention, and I am sure these women ascribe the attention to their attractiveness rather than simply being a woman who is near men at that moment.

Most women overestimate their attractiveness based on the bias that men would not approach them if they were not attractive; instead of the non-biased estimate that men who want sex will approach women (attractive or not) to get it.

First of all, almost every woman has something special about her.

Second of all, tell me you are not a woman without telling me you are not a woman. We know how men react if our attractiveness is display v hidden or even camouflaged in a way that makes us look unattractive.

I hope your life improves so much that you don’t have to look for a way to feel good about yourself by dragging down anonymous women online.

DP and a woman. I agree that almost every woman has something special about her. But that kind of supports the idea that women get hit on for being women though.

[Anonymous]

Thirsty and sleazy service workers constantly hitting on you (or you perceive to be hitting on you) is not the flex y'all think it is.

[Anonymous]

First of all, almost every woman has something special about her.

Second of all, tell me you are not a woman without telling me you are not a woman. We know how men react if our attractiveness is display v hidden or even camouflaged in a way that makes us look unattractive.

I hope your life improves so much that you don’t have to look for a way to feel good about yourself by dragging down anonymous women online.

First, we all (men and women) have something special about us. On behalf of the men in your life, I am disappointed that you thought this fact was not worth noting.

My post contained the truth, and it is also disappointing that you tried to frame it as an attack. You did not respond to one point in it because you know the points are correct. Many women, like you, believe that the attention they receive from men is specifically directed at them because they are attractive instead of the much more likely fact that the men provide the attention indiscriminately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Disagree completely. Attractive women get this type of attention. Unattractive women do not. The attention and compliments do not mean you are getting “hit on.” These guys are respectfully and indirectly broadcasting their interest. This is because YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. It is flattering.
There is no need to come to Jesus wtf
You sound jealous - does it make you feel better to put down others for feeling good about themselves? Maybe it is you that needs to come to Jesus. Or go get a haircut or some makeup or something.

Your mistake is that you believe you receive attention from men mainly because you are attractive, not simply because you are a woman. Think for a moment.

Every day, women who are not deemed attractive receive attention from men. Have you ever been to a bar on or near a military base on a weekend night? Almost every woman in the bar receives a huge amount of attention, and I am sure these women ascribe the attention to their attractiveness rather than simply being a woman who is near men at that moment.

Most women overestimate their attractiveness based on the bias that men would not approach them if they were not attractive; instead of the non-biased estimate that men who want sex will approach women (attractive or not) to get it.

So, the only reason a man will approach a woman is because they want sex? I don’t buy it.

Some of these guys the PP described are too old to have sex and know they aren’t going to get it. SHe was describing the overly patronizing kind type of flirting that isn’t really flirting, but just treating women as objects that need to be protected and idolized rather than treating women as people.

I do agree that some men will give attention to women just because they are trained that way AND that that attention has more to do with being a woman than being attractive.

I disagree that this is healthy, or helps anyone in any way. I also disagree that the type of patronizing flirtation the PP describes is a way get some. Those men are mostly just acting out stereotypes/tropes.

[Anonymous]

Truth is that most women just don’t get hit on anymore. It has nothing to do with the women but with the shift in our society. Me too etc.

Big cities like NYC, LA etc I think anything with a pulse would get hit on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

I’ve seen a lot of crazy posts on DCUM, but this might take the cake. Jogging without airpods is attention seeking behavior. Unhinged. There is absolutely no way you have ever touched grass before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get hit on everywhere I go, but I get enough comments and compliments from strangers of the kind I would describe as "getting hit on" even if they're fleeting moments on the street and no one is asking me out or asking for my number. I'm not a great beauty, but I have a good figure, pretty hair, and a "pretty enough" face. Nowadays a lot of the comments are not the crude, obvious leering kind, but more restrained comments. I'll give a few examples:
-older, dapper Black gentleman in a hat, downtown. Gives me an appreciative look as we walk towards each other, smiles, tips his hat, says "that's a very pretty dress you're wearing." I get a fair bit of that kind of interaction: guy checks me out, nods or smiles, says "nice coat", "great hair", "beautiful dress" etc.. Maybe I just dress really well and gusy in the area are very fashion aware...
- as I jog by, random guy checks me out and says "nice form, keep it up"
-younger guy asks me to dance and, while dancing, bashfully says "respectfully, you seem like an older woman, but you are very good looking" (this one really cracked me up)
- the friendly manager at a regular work lunch spot (now closed) who, almost every time I went would make some part of my lunch "on the house" (this was a running joke with my work colleagues who'd go with me and never got anything for free; they used to call him my "boyfriend")

I don't want to be rude, because I genuinely don't want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like you need a wake-up call.

All of these examples are classic attention seeking behavior... not men complimenting you out of nowhere.
In all of these examples, you showed those men that they were welcome to talk to you.

The vast majority of women will wear at least one or both AirPods (or something similar) while jogging/running in order to avoid unwanted attention or hearing come-ons from men who are total STRANGERS to them.

If you can hear these comments, it's because you're actively listening for them — the same goes with making eye contact with every guy that's walking toward you.

What you're doing is classic attention-seeking behavior.

I understand why you do it though, truly.
As we age, it's difficult to come to terms with not feeling as attractive as we once were (especially for women whose value has always been tied to their looks).

However, most women eventually move past the need for constant attention because it broadcasts to men how desperately you crave their attention and validation still.

That's why they do it. 😕

I’ve seen a lot of crazy posts on DCUM, but this might take the cake. Jogging without airpods is attention seeking behavior. Unhinged. There is absolutely no way you have ever touched grass before.

It made me laugh as well because you are supposed to make eye contact with men while jogging. It personalizes you and reduces the predatory factor:

Be AWARE of your surroundings at all times and trust your INSTINCTS.
Stay in well lit, populated pathways. Avoid shortcuts.
Walk with your head upright. Make eye contact. Thieves often target victims who are not paying attention to their surroundings or who are looking down.
Pay attention to your surroundings when using electronics on the streets, subways & buses. Don't TUNE yourself out. DON'T WALK AND TEXT.

https://publicsafety.columbia.edu/crimepreventiontips

It is like the poster is seeking to make women victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thirsty and sleazy service workers constantly hitting on you (or you perceive to be hitting on you) is not the flex y'all think it is.

+1 Educated, professional men who are considered “high-value” do very little flirting with the goal of actually asking a woman out-unless they are married. Fun banter and lingering looks rarely result in a date for the poor barista girl.

[Anonymous]

I do agree that some men will give attention to women just because they are trained that way AND that that attention has more to do with being a woman than being attractive.

I disagree that this is healthy, or helps anyone in any way. I also disagree that the type of patronizing flirtation the PP describes is a way get some. Those men are mostly just acting out stereotypes/tropes.

I am the PP who posted the post you are referring to here.

Please show me where in any post I said that this type of attention is healthy or helps anyone in any way.

I agree with you that some men will give attention to women because they are trained to do so and that this attention has more to do with being a woman.

My point is that it is important to address the attention question in context. Specifically, are all the women complaining about the attention they receive attractive? No, this seems unlikely. Are some? Yes.