Spouse has never acknowledged the autism diagnosis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is hiding a diagnosis. As my child ages. He will become aware of it. The issue is labeling and boxing kids in.

If someone doesn’t call it what it is and uses euphemisms like language disorder that is hiding a diagnosis.

Or, maybe the kid DOES have a language disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

He already has the label/diagnosis in his medical file.

I’m older than my spouse and since everything, have this vision of me not surviving and my son seeing this diagnosis and saying why didn’t you tell me. My spouse may never accept it, but I don’t want my child to think we are ashamed of him or love him any less.

My true worry is the older he gets, it may get more difficult for him. Yes he does okay in school and has friends but is also very trusting in a childlike way. I don’t think my spouse would accept confirmation of autism in a neuropsychological evaluation, but we wouldn’t need to share it. It might actually help for planning for the future and understanding his needs now. It would give me piece of mind knowing that we had it and for my son to understand himself. My spouse has online groups that think like she does. I didn’t realize so many people here deny the diagnosis too. It’s not just a meaningless label.

This is the main reason to get it. You can ignore the diagnosis and just look at test results/interpretations and still get useful information.

I agree. But my spouse is very rigid. She feels that our ST has told us everything we need to know. She often exaggerates what the ST has said. My spouse wanted to test in early for kindergarten and said the ST agreed with her and recommended this. She had not and did not.

I don’t think there’s any way I could get differential testing without her knowledge and without her going off the rails.

If you wife wants to get your child tested for early entry, let her. What is the big deal? You test and worst case child is turned down. Very few kids get in early entry. Some schools allow it and others don't, even if your child is ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

He already has the label/diagnosis in his medical file.

I’m older than my spouse and since everything, have this vision of me not surviving and my son seeing this diagnosis and saying why didn’t you tell me. My spouse may never accept it, but I don’t want my child to think we are ashamed of him or love him any less.

My true worry is the older he gets, it may get more difficult for him. Yes he does okay in school and has friends but is also very trusting in a childlike way. I don’t think my spouse would accept confirmation of autism in a neuropsychological evaluation, but we wouldn’t need to share it. It might actually help for planning for the future and understanding his needs now. It would give me piece of mind knowing that we had it and for my son to understand himself. My spouse has online groups that think like she does. I didn’t realize so many people here deny the diagnosis too. It’s not just a meaningless label.

This is the main reason to get it. You can ignore the diagnosis and just look at test results/interpretations and still get useful information.

I agree. But my spouse is very rigid. She feels that our ST has told us everything we need to know. She often exaggerates what the ST has said. My spouse wanted to test in early for kindergarten and said the ST agreed with her and recommended this. She had not and did not.

I don’t think there’s any way I could get differential testing without her knowledge and without her going off the rails.

If you wife wants to get your child tested for early entry, let her. What is the big deal? You test and worst case child is turned down. Very few kids get in early entry. Some schools allow it and others don't, even if your child is ready.

This was years ago and he wasn’t ready. He was still pooping in his pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is hiding a diagnosis. As my child ages. He will become aware of it. The issue is labeling and boxing kids in.

If someone doesn’t call it what it is and uses euphemisms like language disorder that is hiding a diagnosis.

Or, maybe the kid DOES have a language disorder.

The a neuropsychological evaluation should tell us that. It would be covered by our insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

He already has the label/diagnosis in his medical file.

I’m older than my spouse and since everything, have this vision of me not surviving and my son seeing this diagnosis and saying why didn’t you tell me. My spouse may never accept it, but I don’t want my child to think we are ashamed of him or love him any less.

My true worry is the older he gets, it may get more difficult for him. Yes he does okay in school and has friends but is also very trusting in a childlike way. I don’t think my spouse would accept confirmation of autism in a neuropsychological evaluation, but we wouldn’t need to share it. It might actually help for planning for the future and understanding his needs now. It would give me piece of mind knowing that we had it and for my son to understand himself. My spouse has online groups that think like she does. I didn’t realize so many people here deny the diagnosis too. It’s not just a meaningless label.

I am not understanding your concern. You already have the diagnosis. But, you're concerned because your wife won't get an evaluation that would give the diagnosis?

Anyway, I am a PP who thinks it's no big deal not to chase a diagnosis. But, I would definitely be pursuing a neuropsych if I could afford it and there is evidence of disabilities and I needed information on how to address those disabilities. The best part of the neuropsych eval is the recommendations that you get for school and also for understanding your child. I know when I got a true understanding of just how slow my son's processing speed is, I was better able to have conversations with him. When I learned how difficult it is for him to get his thoughts from his head to a paper, I was better able to help him pick classes in high school. But the only diagnoses that really made a difference were the confirmation of certain mental health diagnoses, which was not even a part of the neuropsych. We paid extra for it and it is beneficial because it guides medication decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.

This.

The purpose of an evaluation is not just to assign a label, but to identify strengths and weaknesses so that you can select appropriate treatments. If you reframe the evaluation as focused on guiding future treatments, would he be more willing to do it?

He already has the label/diagnosis in his medical file.

I’m older than my spouse and since everything, have this vision of me not surviving and my son seeing this diagnosis and saying why didn’t you tell me. My spouse may never accept it, but I don’t want my child to think we are ashamed of him or love him any less.

My true worry is the older he gets, it may get more difficult for him. Yes he does okay in school and has friends but is also very trusting in a childlike way. I don’t think my spouse would accept confirmation of autism in a neuropsychological evaluation, but we wouldn’t need to share it. It might actually help for planning for the future and understanding his needs now. It would give me piece of mind knowing that we had it and for my son to understand himself. My spouse has online groups that think like she does. I didn’t realize so many people here deny the diagnosis too. It’s not just a meaningless label.

I am not understanding your concern. You already have the diagnosis. But, you're concerned because your wife won't get an evaluation that would give the diagnosis?

Anyway, I am a PP who thinks it's no big deal not to chase a diagnosis. But, I would definitely be pursuing a neuropsych if I could afford it and there is evidence of disabilities and I needed information on how to address those disabilities. The best part of the neuropsych eval is the recommendations that you get for school and also for understanding your child. I know when I got a true understanding of just how slow my son's processing speed is, I was better able to have conversations with him. When I learned how difficult it is for him to get his thoughts from his head to a paper, I was better able to help him pick classes in high school. But the only diagnoses that really made a difference were the confirmation of certain mental health diagnoses, which was not even a part of the neuropsych. We paid extra for it and it is beneficial because it guides medication decisions.

How is getting a differential diagnosis 10 years later “chasing a diagnosis?”

[Anonymous]

What many people here don't realize is how wide of a spectrum the term "autism" covers.
I prefer the term "Neuro diverse". You really know nothing about someone by knowing they are labeled autistic

[Anonymous]

Many lead poisoned kids end up with autism diagnosis nowadays. Any time there's any brain damage and it involves sensory or social they get the autism label.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What many people here don't realize is how wide of a spectrum the term "autism" covers.
I prefer the term "Neuro diverse". You really know nothing about someone by knowing they are labeled autistic

Neuro diverse is even less descriptive that autistic. Knowing someone is autistic does give you some clues as to what you might expect. Doesn't mean you know everything, but you know to look out for certain things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What many people here don't realize is how wide of a spectrum the term "autism" covers.
I prefer the term "Neuro diverse". You really know nothing about someone by knowing they are labeled autistic

You can use any term you want for your child. I find the neuro comments pretty obnoxious personally. Yes, people know how wide it is which is part of the issue and does a huge disservice to kids and adults as things like high functioning really mean nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What many people here don't realize is how wide of a spectrum the term "autism" covers.
I prefer the term "Neuro diverse". You really know nothing about someone by knowing they are labeled autistic

Neuro diverse is even less descriptive that autistic. Knowing someone is autistic does give you some clues as to what you might expect. Doesn't mean you know everything, but you know to look out for certain things.

Getting a differential diagnosis is nothing about labels though.

A neuropsychological evaluation can give you not only information about strengths and weaknesses but really detailed information about how your kid brain processes information. It may be used for an iep, help plan for future needs both in daily life and academically. It’s also sensible to do one every several years as a child ages.

None of us knows what tomorrow holds for any of us. A smart, well adjusted child may develop depression or have some other kind of setback. It’s helpful to have baseline testing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What many people here don't realize is how wide of a spectrum the term "autism" covers.
I prefer the term "Neuro diverse". You really know nothing about someone by knowing they are labeled autistic

Neuro diverse is even less descriptive that autistic. Knowing someone is autistic does give you some clues as to what you might expect. Doesn't mean you know everything, but you know to look out for certain things.

Getting a differential diagnosis is nothing about labels though.

A neuropsychological evaluation can give you not only information about strengths and weaknesses but really detailed information about how your kid brain processes information. It may be used for an iep, help plan for future needs both in daily life and academically. It’s also sensible to do one every several years as a child ages.

None of us knows what tomorrow holds for any of us. A smart, well adjusted child may develop depression or have some other kind of setback. It’s helpful to have baseline testing.

Agrre. I'm against labels but very strongly pro detailed testing for strengths and weaknesses.

I want my child to think "how can I use my strengths and weaknesses to be a productive member of society" rather than "I'm autistic/downs/ and/ fragile X, I better join social groups of people like me and withdraw from society".

[Anonymous]

We never accepted the autism diagnoses either.

Best thing we ever did. Kept us far away from the autism industrial complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never accepted the autism diagnoses either.

Best thing we ever did. Kept us far away from the autism industrial complex.

Good for you. We are currently getting hospital based services through insurance. I only do interventions that have clear end goals.

We tried the gluten free dairy free diet for 2 months. No difference in our child. I am willing to try anything for up to a month. If there's no clear, tangible benefit we don't do it. Our child is doing very well for someone at their level of functioning.

Frankly many parents view autism or SN as a way to get attention and sympathy. Sometimes their kids would be better off unlabeled but getting the help they need.

Some autistic kids benefit from ABA or Son Rise or gluten/dairy free etc. Others don't. Most high functioning have unusual Neuro profiles that need to be worked with but encouraging the identification is unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never accepted the autism diagnoses either.

Best thing we ever did. Kept us far away from the autism industrial complex.

If you want to keep your tinfoil hat on fine. But your paranoid comments about the “autism industry” are ludicrous. The rates of autism around the world are generally highest where there’s nationalized health system. There’s not a conspiracy, Mulder.