Spouse has never acknowledged the autism diagnosis

[Anonymous]

Child is almost 12. High functioning. Services (mostly ST) covered b/c of early diagnosis. I think it’s accurate. Spouse won’t agree to testing for differential diagnosis in any case.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

What's the problem? Is he not agreeing to the therapy?

Why do you need the name? Even in the medical community, there's lack of agreement about the diagnosis when it comes to high functioning kids. Is there something you hope to gain from it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the problem? Is he not agreeing to the therapy?

Why do you need the name? Even in the medical community, there's lack of agreement about the diagnosis when it comes to high functioning kids. Is there something you hope to gain from it?

You don’t think it weird?

What do you mean by “Even in the medical community, there's lack of agreement about the diagnosis when it comes to high functioning kids...”
Never heard this.

[Anonymous]

NP. I don't think it's weird. Sometimes chasing a diagnosis is expensive, time consuming and exhausting. Having a diagnosis for the sake of having it doesn't make sense to some people. And, so long as your kid is getting the services and supports they need, it isn't something that's necessary.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a huge fan of labeling kids either. I have an SN kid who probably has an autism diagnosis. I like to deal with the issues as an individual thing rather than label my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a huge fan of labeling kids either. I have an SN kid who probably has an autism diagnosis. I like to deal with the issues as an individual thing rather than label my child.

I'm the mom fyi. I use the diagnosis to get services but refuse to describe my child as his diagnosis

[Anonymous]

I would do nothing. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a huge fan of labeling kids either. I have an SN kid who probably has an autism diagnosis. I like to deal with the issues as an individual thing rather than label my child.

I'm the mom fyi. I use the diagnosis to get services but refuse to describe my child as his diagnosis

Why?

[Anonymous]

My kid is 18 in a month and has been variously diagnosed with ASD, MERLD, and semantic-pragmatic language disorder by different providers. My husband accepts the language diagnosis, but absolutely refuses to accept the ASD diagnosis. My kid has had an ASD diagnosis for 10 years.

It doesn't matter. We used the language diagnosis to obtain appropriate services from the school. Our kid got out of school therapies as appropriate.

Labels are a box that make it easy to explain things to insurance and service providers, but they aren't meaningful otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Are you seeking additional treatment for your DC that needs a diagnosis? If not, I would let it go.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry your partner is not acknowledging the diagnosis that your child has - that has to make things very difficult. I don't have any advice, I can only sympathize with how hard it is because my child's father is in denial about our child's issues - luckily though he lives in another state and my fiance is incredibly supportive and is actively helping me find solutions and parenting strategies that work for us and my child.

It's really hard to treat when a parent doesn't want to work with the problems and just wants to pretend they don't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry your partner is not acknowledging the diagnosis that your child has - that has to make things very difficult. I don't have any advice, I can only sympathize with how hard it is because my child's father is in denial about our child's issues - luckily though he lives in another state and my fiance is incredibly supportive and is actively helping me find solutions and parenting strategies that work for us and my child.

It's really hard to treat when a parent doesn't want to work with the problems and just wants to pretend they don't exist.

Not acknowledging a diagnosis is not the same as not working with the problems and pretending the problems don't exist. OP has never indicated that is the problem. Her issue is only that her husband doesn't acknowledge the diagnosis. I'm sorry for your difficulties, but they are not the same as OPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry your partner is not acknowledging the diagnosis that your child has - that has to make things very difficult. I don't have any advice, I can only sympathize with how hard it is because my child's father is in denial about our child's issues - luckily though he lives in another state and my fiance is incredibly supportive and is actively helping me find solutions and parenting strategies that work for us and my child.

It's really hard to treat when a parent doesn't want to work with the problems and just wants to pretend they don't exist.

Not acknowledging a diagnosis is not the same as not working with the problems and pretending the problems don't exist. OP has never indicated that is the problem. Her issue is only that her husband doesn't acknowledge the diagnosis. I'm sorry for your difficulties, but they are not the same as OPs.

Yes, it is the same. Since this thread is about how he won't let her seek a differential diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Op this is really, really hard. It is hard to be a parent of a neurodivergent kid and really hard to not just be working toward helping your child alone but to have your partner actively work against you. You guys should be on the same page with these things.

I hope you consider counseling for yourself, with someone who has experience helping parents of children with sn. You deserve to have support.

[Anonymous]

OP I think it depends on whether your partner is moving from not accepting a diagnosis to not agreeing to services/pushing for services because partner doesn't think they are necessary. That would be a major issue in my opinion.