Divorce Perspective

[Anonymous]

^^LOL, not sure what circles you run in but the single moms I know all had the divorce diet and the Mommy makeover and are super fit. It’s the still married ones that are “comfortable”.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised and impressed with the number of men on this post who are primary parents and who have put their kids needs ahead of relationship status. So many posts you hear on here are where men are good with every other weekend schedule so that they can date/have more time for work etc. but that is not the case with some of the men on this post.

It's one more sign that women's movement is beneficial to men as they are now able/expected to participate in their kids' lives since more women are now working outside of home as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Romantically: I have dated at least 130 women since the divorce, and had sex with about a dozen of them.

5 years = 260 weeks = dating a new woman every 2 weeks (yes, doubtless there was overlap)

Sounds exhausting tbh.

What made it even harder is that I am a 50-50 dad and don't date at all on my weeks with the children. The children have not met a single one of the women I have dated. And yes, three women on a weekend or even a day is not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Romantically: I have dated at least 130 women since the divorce, and had sex with about a dozen of them.

5 years = 260 weeks = dating a new woman every 2 weeks (yes, doubtless there was overlap)

Sounds exhausting tbh.

He’s lying of course and if he’s not then he’s a player.

I wish I was lying--all those dates were expensive. I should have kept a diary of all the dating, it would make for an interesting book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^LOL, not sure what circles you run in but the single moms I know all had the divorce diet and the Mommy makeover and are super fit. It’s the still married ones that are “comfortable”.

That is not my experience as a divorced dad. I reject at least 90 percent of the women who "match" with me because they look awful. How hard is it to take 6 months and lose the excess 40 pounds before you date? How much does it cost to get a decent haircut and clothes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I did date one woman briefly and found myself just not really enjoying it or feeling "ready." I think I did it because I thought it was something I was supposed to do. But then it became clear she wanted to move her and her daughter in with me and my kids, and I finally drew a line and told her no one was ever moving in, certainly not before both my kids were in college.

Glad you held the line. I have the same view that cohabitating (especially with a woman who has her own kids) is probably a bad idea.

Was she lower income / SES than you, was that what was driving it? She would upgrade from her townhouse to your SFH? Was she offering to pay half the mortgage?

Yes she was much lower income. High school graduate. Got screwed by her ex in her divorce years ago but also never fought for what she was legally owed. She had been cohabitating with a previous boyfriend and then in a townhouse she couldn’t afford on her own.

She was a good person. Just needed more than I could give.

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^LOL, not sure what circles you run in but the single moms I know all had the divorce diet and the Mommy makeover and are super fit. It’s the still married ones that are “comfortable”.

I’m just telling you what I see on the OLD profiles - lotta fat single moms over 40. Maybe they’re so recently divorced they haven’t lost the married weight yet.

[Anonymous]

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

The parasite quickly found a new host, so no harm done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I did date one woman briefly and found myself just not really enjoying it or feeling "ready." I think I did it because I thought it was something I was supposed to do. But then it became clear she wanted to move her and her daughter in with me and my kids, and I finally drew a line and told her no one was ever moving in, certainly not before both my kids were in college.

Glad you held the line. I have the same view that cohabitating (especially with a woman who has her own kids) is probably a bad idea.

Was she lower income / SES than you, was that what was driving it? She would upgrade from her townhouse to your SFH? Was she offering to pay half the mortgage?

Yes she was much lower income. High school graduate. Got screwed by her ex in her divorce years ago but also never fought for what she was legally owed. She had been cohabitating with a previous boyfriend and then in a townhouse she couldn’t afford on her own.

She was a good person. Just needed more than I could give.

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

The guy said in a previous post exactly what he was looking for: exclusive, maintaining separate houses and seeing each other 2-3 times per week. How much more direct could he be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

The parasite quickly found a new host, so no harm done.

Here I was saying how the men on this post seem like responsible, reasonable men but then posts like this and women’s weight come along and we’re back to the a-hole posts. These posts stop conversations because it puts people on defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

The parasite quickly found a new host, so no harm done.

Here I was saying how the men on this post seem like responsible, reasonable men but then posts like this and women’s weight come along and we’re back to the a-hole posts. These posts stop conversations because it puts people on defensive.

It was a woman poster who brought up the subject of older people’s bodies.

At least one woman poster has said this single mom is a needy psycho looking for a man to pay her bills. “Parasite” is just another way of saying the same thing.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are happy with your quiet life then you are thriving. If not, start identifying the things that you like to do or bring you joy, no matter how small, and go from there. As you can see from some of the replies, there are different ways to define thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

The parasite quickly found a new host, so no harm done.

Here I was saying how the men on this post seem like responsible, reasonable men but then posts like this and women’s weight come along and we’re back to the a-hole posts. These posts stop conversations because it puts people on defensive.

It was a woman poster who brought up the subject of older people’s bodies.

At least one woman poster has said this single mom is a needy psycho looking for a man to pay her bills. “Parasite” is just another way of saying the same thing.

Actually, it was a man who talked about divorced women's weight and talk about women just wanting to pair up to use men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you do date, please be upfront about your feelings on this. Even tell this story in a non negative way, to I,lustration what it is you want. Don’t waste women’s time.

The parasite quickly found a new host, so no harm done.

Here I was saying how the men on this post seem like responsible, reasonable men but then posts like this and women’s weight come along and we’re back to the a-hole posts. These posts stop conversations because it puts people on defensive.

It was a woman poster who brought up the subject of older people’s bodies.

At least one woman poster has said this single mom is a needy psycho looking for a man to pay her bills. “Parasite” is just another way of saying the same thing.

Actually, it was a man who talked about divorced women's weight and talk about women just wanting to pair up to use men.

In response to a woman saying “men are mainly looking for a sex cushion who will take care of their ageing body.“

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy a border collie? Do not announce your intention to buy a pet on here. You will be shellacked. The rest is drivel.

Border Collies are great. Do it. Absolutely...it's the best idea ever.