When someone contacts you about being excluded from social events

[Anonymous]

Op be honest, do you sort of like her being left out? That’s the impression I got from your post.

[Anonymous]

I actually have a sort of more stringent approach to this that comes with boundaries.

This doesn’t seem socially awkward—this seems controlling on her part and she’s sensed something in you she can leverage.

I would not be mean and some of the responses on this thread are insane. Do not be unkind. But honestly the irony of her behavior is that I’d now not at all be interested in making a huge effort to include her. If your gatherings are organic and outside on the sidewalk etc like in my neighborhood, she’ll stumble across these visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you NICELY inform some of the other moms that Larla would like for Laslo to be more a part of the group and perhaps when they have events they can remember to include Larla and Laslo? Don't be a b about it or roll your eyes or ask like it's a burden. Ask nicely and try to help this woman enter into your social circle. This really isn't that hard.

This. Don’t understand why you can’t do this. She’s not evil, she just wants some friends and to be included in the things happening right in front of her. It literally costs you nothing to suggest including her. It’s not like your loose group of a dozen moms is some exclusive club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually have a sort of more stringent approach to this that comes with boundaries.

This doesn’t seem socially awkward—this seems controlling on her part and she’s sensed something in you she can leverage.

I would not be mean and some of the responses on this thread are insane. Do not be unkind. But honestly the irony of her behavior is that I’d now not at all be interested in making a huge effort to include her. If your gatherings are organic and outside on the sidewalk etc like in my neighborhood, she’ll stumble across these visits.

Oh yes, she’s a big manipulation bitch because she wanted to make a poster and drive by some birthday kid’s house. You dummies should appreciate someone who wants to play along with your inane crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, would it kill you, people to invite them to drive by? Someone organised the drive by, right?

But no, you have to act like you’re in middle school. Without excluding someone you just wouldn’t feel special.

This. If it’s a group hangout, one more person and kid wouldn’t make a difference, but even in a global pandemic, your compassion towards others hasn’t grown in the slightest. This woman was excluded for no good reason and now feels even more alone and isolated.

You and your friends are jerks, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually have a sort of more stringent approach to this that comes with boundaries.

This doesn’t seem socially awkward—this seems controlling on her part and she’s sensed something in you she can leverage.

I would not be mean and some of the responses on this thread are insane. Do not be unkind. But honestly the irony of her behavior is that I’d now not at all be interested in making a huge effort to include her. If your gatherings are organic and outside on the sidewalk etc like in my neighborhood, she’ll stumble across these visits.

Oh yes, she’s a big manipulation bitch because she wanted to make a poster and drive by some birthday kid’s house. You dummies should appreciate someone who wants to play along with your inane crap.

PP here. I don’t think she’s a manipulative bitch. But coming down hard on someone in this scenario is actually rather unkind and I stand by what I said—a bit controlling. I says to me “hey Larla, I told you to text me when anything happened!!! And there was a drive by birthday for another family!” That sort of insistence and misunderstanding of how to handle low grade disappointment is to me a pink flag.

[Anonymous]

Agree about pink flag. The guilt trip thing doesn’t usually work out well. Be kind and include some but it doesn’t have to be EVERY time. If OP says it’s because she didn’t host the event, then she’s effectively saying an invitation will be extended every time she does. What if OP just wants to have 1-2 kids over?

[Anonymous]

Ugh OP ugh. This is dripping with mean girl passive aggressive. So there are a dozen moms in the neighborhood with same aged kids and they all hang out, with the exception of the one mom who is only sometimes/rarely invited, and there is bragging on social media, and the odd mom out is asking about it, and you feel sorry for YOURSELF because she is reaching out to you. Get over yourself sheesh. What a bratty group of neighbors. PS i guarantee this group will blow up in your face.

[Anonymous]

Is she is same neighborhood area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op be honest, do you sort of like her being left out? That’s the impression I got from your post.

Same.

[Anonymous]

The OP does invite this person according to her post but it sounds like she’s being enlisted as the social spy and being told to report on every social event. That to me seems out of line. Include when it’s your event;
don’t be guilted into extending invites to another kid’s bday. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP ugh. This is dripping with mean girl passive aggressive. So there are a dozen moms in the neighborhood with same aged kids and they all hang out, with the exception of the one mom who is only sometimes/rarely invited, and there is bragging on social media, and the odd mom out is asking about it, and you feel sorry for YOURSELF because she is reaching out to you. Get over yourself sheesh. What a bratty group of neighbors. PS i guarantee this group will blow up in your face.

+100 and you are trying to build consensus on a message board, good grief!

[Anonymous]

What’s the real reason they are excluded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the real reason they are excluded?

Because if no one is excluded, then your dippy mommy group can’t feel special and exclusive.

[Anonymous]

By 2nd grade my kid knew who she wanted to hang out with. There are a bunch of oarents that i like and enjoy talking to that I don't get to see because our kids dont have a lot in common or playing is strained.

Op, I know how it is. My bestie is like that mom. I can say i dont want to hang out (which is true) but if she sees anything about me hanging with anyone else she becomes sad or angry and feels excluded. Sometimes things happen organically, I'm sitting in my backyard and the neighbors want to get together. Didn't require me to move or plan anything yet when it inevitably gets posted to social media I look like I left her out. All I do is sit in my backyard.