When to cut off adult son (26)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

NP. Nope. That PP is exactly right.

+1 agreed.

I think people who did not grow up lower income, struggling, think it's fine for 26 yr olds to still try to "figure things out" while parents support them. People who grew up lower income whose parents couldn't support them at 26 didn't have that luxury. That's where OP is coming from, and I get it.

Unless your 20 something year old is in college, they need to be able to stand on their own two feet. Again, it's different if they are in college or some other type of training program, but if you are working a FT job, then you should be able to figure it out, even if that means living with several room mates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

Offended? What words triggered you? Bernie bros?

From the hindsight of someone who's a bit older and lives and works in a major urban area, there are a lot of overeducated and underemployed young white men around, and OP's son seems to fall into this category. The future isn't very bright for them. Life is not and has never been easy and I think one of the great disservices of growing up in the mindsets of the 1990s-2010 was the cultural promotion that anyone can be anything they want and find their own way in life and it'll all turn out great one way or another. But it resulted in a lot of young people, especially men, failing to launch seriously, choosing to go into the creative industries or food industries because they had misguided fears of the corporate or professional worlds or middle class suburbia. And for a while it's fun. Being in your 20s in a fun city, what does it matter what you do when you've got your friends and a girl and weed and booze and house parties and it seems like everyone is in the same boat. But it catches up. Oh, boy, it catches up at some point.

But OP's son isn't too old nor is it too late for him. He does need to wise up about the kind of future he wants and the trade offs that come with it. The longer he delays making these serious choices, the more he will pay for it in the long run.

Could not agree with you more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

Offended? What words triggered you? Bernie bros?

From the hindsight of someone who's a bit older and lives and works in a major urban area, there are a lot of overeducated and underemployed young white men around, and OP's son seems to fall into this category. The future isn't very bright for them. Life is not and has never been easy and I think one of the great disservices of growing up in the mindsets of the 1990s-2010 was the cultural promotion that anyone can be anything they want and find their own way in life and it'll all turn out great one way or another. But it resulted in a lot of young people, especially men, failing to launch seriously, choosing to go into the creative industries or food industries because they had misguided fears of the corporate or professional worlds or middle class suburbia. And for a while it's fun. Being in your 20s in a fun city, what does it matter what you do when you've got your friends and a girl and weed and booze and house parties and it seems like everyone is in the same boat. But it catches up. Oh, boy, it catches up at some point.

But OP's son isn't too old nor is it too late for him. He does need to wise up about the kind of future he wants and the trade offs that come with it. The longer he delays making these serious choices, the more he will pay for it in the long run.

I'm your identical demographic, believe me. You're still a judgmental know-it-all asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

Offended? What words triggered you? Bernie bros?

From the hindsight of someone who's a bit older and lives and works in a major urban area, there are a lot of overeducated and underemployed young white men around, and OP's son seems to fall into this category. The future isn't very bright for them. Life is not and has never been easy and I think one of the great disservices of growing up in the mindsets of the 1990s-2010 was the cultural promotion that anyone can be anything they want and find their own way in life and it'll all turn out great one way or another. But it resulted in a lot of young people, especially men, failing to launch seriously, choosing to go into the creative industries or food industries because they had misguided fears of the corporate or professional worlds or middle class suburbia. And for a while it's fun. Being in your 20s in a fun city, what does it matter what you do when you've got your friends and a girl and weed and booze and house parties and it seems like everyone is in the same boat. But it catches up. Oh, boy, it catches up at some point.

But OP's son isn't too old nor is it too late for him. He does need to wise up about the kind of future he wants and the trade offs that come with it. The longer he delays making these serious choices, the more he will pay for it in the long run.

I'm your identical demographic, believe me. You're still a judgmental know-it-all asshole.

NP. And I think you live with your head in the sand. This PP is exactly right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

NP. Nope. That PP is exactly right.

Agreed. At 26 he needs to buckle down. Most people don't really want to work (sure, there are those few that say they do, but come on, let's be real here). There's nothing wrong with working in the restaurant industry, but is OP's son moving up in his career, managing, training to become a chef, a mixologist, or some other specialized job? If not, then it's true, he is going nowhere, probably spending all his money on beers and hooking up with the drunk girls celebrating their 21st birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

Offended? What words triggered you? Bernie bros?

From the hindsight of someone who's a bit older and lives and works in a major urban area, there are a lot of overeducated and underemployed young white men around, and OP's son seems to fall into this category. The future isn't very bright for them. Life is not and has never been easy and I think one of the great disservices of growing up in the mindsets of the 1990s-2010 was the cultural promotion that anyone can be anything they want and find their own way in life and it'll all turn out great one way or another. But it resulted in a lot of young people, especially men, failing to launch seriously, choosing to go into the creative industries or food industries because they had misguided fears of the corporate or professional worlds or middle class suburbia. And for a while it's fun. Being in your 20s in a fun city, what does it matter what you do when you've got your friends and a girl and weed and booze and house parties and it seems like everyone is in the same boat. But it catches up. Oh, boy, it catches up at some point.

But OP's son isn't too old nor is it too late for him. He does need to wise up about the kind of future he wants and the trade offs that come with it. The longer he delays making these serious choices, the more he will pay for it in the long run.

I'm your identical demographic, believe me. You're still a judgmental know-it-all asshole.

NP. And I think you live with your head in the sand. This PP is exactly right.

+1 I don't know what the ^PP's problem is. Maybe it hit too close to home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

NP. Nope. That PP is exactly right.

+1 agreed.

I think people who did not grow up lower income, struggling, think it's fine for 26 yr olds to still try to "figure things out" while parents support them. People who grew up lower income whose parents couldn't support them at 26 didn't have that luxury. That's where OP is coming from, and I get it.

Unless your 20 something year old is in college, they need to be able to stand on their own two feet. Again, it's different if they are in college or some other type of training program, but if you are working a FT job, then you should be able to figure it out, even if that means living with several room mates.

I think this is exactly it.

[Anonymous]

OPs son should consider working as service staff part time, and getting an additional certificate or take some refresher classes. He may need financial help to do this.

When he should have been getting internships and working for free, (and only supplementing with service work) he insisted on working in the service industry to support himself, which was the start of the problem. Now he needs to rectify that mistake.

He may need to take a pay cut to move out of the bartending world initially. At first, you make a lot more money than your friends who took corporate or government jobs, but eventually they start making more and have a different mindset.

[Anonymous]

Since when is $1,500 over three years "supporting" someone? Can I be directed to this really, really, really cheap place to live? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

NP. Nope. That PP is exactly right.

+1 agreed.

I think people who did not grow up lower income, struggling, think it's fine for 26 yr olds to still try to "figure things out" while parents support them. People who grew up lower income whose parents couldn't support them at 26 didn't have that luxury. That's where OP is coming from, and I get it.

Unless your 20 something year old is in college, they need to be able to stand on their own two feet. Again, it's different if they are in college or some other type of training program, but if you are working a FT job, then you should be able to figure it out, even if that means living with several room mates.

OMG shut up already. Being given $1500 OVER FIVE YEARS qualifies as standing on his own two feet. If OP's panties are in such a bunch because of such little money, tell the kid no and he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

When to cut off non disabled kid: age 18

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of three kids. Oldest is my 26 YO son.

He was always a good student, hard working, independent. Went to college, then his life fell apart. Because of his independance streak he insisted on paying for all of his expenses in college, leading to him starting to work in the restaurant industry in college. Meaning he never had time for internships.

I don't see how his life fell apart if he was able to graduate and has been supporting himself for almost a decade outside of $1500. I'm guessing you put lots on conditions on all of your support, emotional and financial. There has to be a lot more to the story. Because I don't know many people who chose to support themselves throughout college when their parents had money and were willing to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

Offended? What words triggered you? Bernie bros?

From the hindsight of someone who's a bit older and lives and works in a major urban area, there are a lot of overeducated and underemployed young white men around, and OP's son seems to fall into this category. The future isn't very bright for them. Life is not and has never been easy and I think one of the great disservices of growing up in the mindsets of the 1990s-2010 was the cultural promotion that anyone can be anything they want and find their own way in life and it'll all turn out great one way or another. But it resulted in a lot of young people, especially men, failing to launch seriously, choosing to go into the creative industries or food industries because they had misguided fears of the corporate or professional worlds or middle class suburbia. And for a while it's fun. Being in your 20s in a fun city, what does it matter what you do when you've got your friends and a girl and weed and booze and house parties and it seems like everyone is in the same boat. But it catches up. Oh, boy, it catches up at some point.

But OP's son isn't too old nor is it too late for him. He does need to wise up about the kind of future he wants and the trade offs that come with it. The longer he delays making these serious choices, the more he will pay for it in the long run.

I'm your identical demographic, believe me. You're still a judgmental know-it-all asshole.

NP. And I think you live with your head in the sand. This PP is exactly right.

+1 I don't know what the ^PP's problem is. Maybe it hit too close to home?

Yeah, a little, but not for the reasons you'd think. I came from nothing and retired from Big Law early with millions of dollars in the bank. I quit mainly because I was tired AF dealing with people who have the know-it-all attitude of this poster. Having loads of money and a impressive career means nothing. It doesn't make you special, and it doesn't make your opinion more important.

My kids are all grown and have achieved varying levels on mainstream "success." If I ranked them by levels of happiness, however, the order would be different (although they're all fine). And none are asking for money, btw.

What I find most interesting about this thread is that OP isn't saying her son is unhappy, and no one has asked her that question. Very telling about who participates in this forum if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the real frustration is not the money, but that your son is wasting his life.

He actually has a decent degree if he has GIS training. Lots of firms, engineering, planning, government contracting, all need GIS tech people. If he'd been organized he shouldn't have had any trouble finding an entry level GIS job right out of college and by now be a project manager with a 401k and savings and a future. I work in a big engineering firm that has a large GIS division and the pay is very good. Those with masters and in their late 20s can easily make six figures as project managers.

Right now he has no future. Being a server is not a future. Unfortunately, he's five years out of college and wasted that working as a server so his degree isn't very useful any more. And his poor work history means he's not attractive as a candidate to the better grad programs.

He's just skimming along in life. That's what Bernie bros do and that's why they're angry and unhappy people. They refuse to accept the realities of the world and are throwing tamper tantrums at how unfair life is. He's 26 today, but tomorrow he'll be 30 and what will he have to show for it? He'll be far behind many of his peers. And who cares about the fun memories of your 20s when you were young and broke when everyone else was also young and broke. That won't be the case when he's 30.

I think you know what you need to do. You need to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about life and how he's not facing up to the realities of life. He's not a kid any more. What does he want, to spend the rest of his life with roommates in cheap apartments, never getting to own his own place? And without a solid job and prospects, dating prospects are going to get worse and worse. He should get his sorry ass into a grad program ASAP, it'll likely have to be one of those programs that take anyone, but there are GIS programs out there to get back on track. He needs to get serious.

God you're asshole. And I have no doubt that I make more money and in a better job than you.

Offended? What words triggered you? Bernie bros?

From the hindsight of someone who's a bit older and lives and works in a major urban area, there are a lot of overeducated and underemployed young white men around, and OP's son seems to fall into this category. The future isn't very bright for them. Life is not and has never been easy and I think one of the great disservices of growing up in the mindsets of the 1990s-2010 was the cultural promotion that anyone can be anything they want and find their own way in life and it'll all turn out great one way or another. But it resulted in a lot of young people, especially men, failing to launch seriously, choosing to go into the creative industries or food industries because they had misguided fears of the corporate or professional worlds or middle class suburbia. And for a while it's fun. Being in your 20s in a fun city, what does it matter what you do when you've got your friends and a girl and weed and booze and house parties and it seems like everyone is in the same boat. But it catches up. Oh, boy, it catches up at some point.

But OP's son isn't too old nor is it too late for him. He does need to wise up about the kind of future he wants and the trade offs that come with it. The longer he delays making these serious choices, the more he will pay for it in the long run.

I'm your identical demographic, believe me. You're still a judgmental know-it-all asshole.

NP. And I think you live with your head in the sand. This PP is exactly right.

+1 I don't know what the ^PP's problem is. Maybe it hit too close to home?

Yeah, a little, but not for the reasons you'd think. I came from nothing and retired from Big Law early with millions of dollars in the bank. I quit mainly because I was tired AF dealing with people who have the know-it-all attitude of this poster. Having loads of money and a impressive career means nothing. It doesn't make you special, and it doesn't make your opinion more important.

My kids are all grown and have achieved varying levels on mainstream "success." If I ranked them by levels of happiness, however, the order would be different (although they're all fine). And none are asking for money, btw.

What I find most interesting about this thread is that OP isn't saying her son is unhappy, and no one has asked her that question. Very telling about who participates in this forum if you ask me.

If I was asking my parents for money at 26, I would feel horrible about myself.

[Anonymous]

He needs a career - a trade or Jin where you learn more, there is a job track, and you make more skills and money along the way. He also needs to be saving money for his future needs and retirement.

He sounds like he has no goals or motivation. When did that start? It needs to end. Have his talk w a career counselor and make some 1, 3, and 5 year plans.