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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
If you had to do it all over again would you?
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Anonymous
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Yes - would do it again -but we are only 4 years into relationship, 2+years married...
Even what I regarded as his drawbacks (child from previous marriage, his lack of eagerness for his career/making good money) have suddenly turned for the better. At least I know what kind of dad he would be (as I am pregnant, I have time to think how to make the best of his parenting abilities, he is very responsible and warm-hearted but maybe not good at certain things with kids, so the key is to distribute the responsibilities so that each gets what one prefers). And his carelessness about his career made it possible for him to follow me to an overseas assignment which is very important for me since I am pregnant...even though it means I am the breadwinner for the time being! |
Anonymous
| Yes! |
Anonymous
I am also 5 years into mine and NO.. I would NOT do it again. I often want to go back in time and make completely different choices! Not just with him..... |
Anonymous
| Not a chance in hell. I agree w/ PP who wished she could wave a wand and he would 'poof--vanish' I never thought I would say I really didn't like my husband. I thought maybe I'd have a tough marriage b/c I didn't grow up w/ great role models. And I do...but I really, really don't like him and I don't respect him so whenever I've thought that maybe I should insist on therapy or something, then I think...nahh....I wouldn't respect myself if I liked him. |
Anonymous
| No. I wouldn't. Her lack of a sex drive even while dating was something I excused, and something she often apologized for, when we were dating. She assured me that she'd work to make things better. She hasn't. We were such great friends that we married anyway. In retrospect, it was a mistake. I just don't interest her sexually, although she obviously loves me and says that the other things she does around the house should be enough to make me happy. It isn't. I'm stuck, and profoundly sad. |
Anonymous
| I would do every thing all over again ! The four kids, The husband , the career choice ! My life! |
Anonymous
Very sorry. Try to get your wife into counseling. Have lived this and it ultimately destroyed the marriage. |
Anonymous
Me too : ( |
Anonymous
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Don't think so -- If my answer sounds waivering it could be b/c being in a bad marriage with a master manipulator, it screws with your head and judgement. It has taken me over ten years to realize that being married to a "nice guy" who doesn't contribute to the marriage (constantly out of work), is lazy meaning he's at home all day, kids are in school and doesn't bother to do anything around the house to help out while you work full time, racks up credit card debt although he's unemployed, is not very bright -- he repeats movie dialogues in place of his own words in conversations, is definitely not the person that I would be friends with let alone married to. Since marriage shapes your life -- current and future, I don't like the fact that I have taken multiple steps back from where I was ten years ago in terms of finances, and being hopeful and excited about the future. The only thing that this union has brought are my children -- but not sure that the husband is such a good father -- once again may be nice but I could see that when the kids are grown, he'll be at their door wanting a few dollars or two to support him...
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Anonymous
10:48 here. Thanks for the reply. But there's no way she'd accept counseling. She just has low self esteem, no matter what I tell her. So I bet my marriage will end up like yours. |
Anonymous
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I have a question for everyone who replied "No" in some way.
Do you continue to make terrible, high-impact decisions? |
Anonymous
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Biggest mistake of my life. A rotten marriage poisons every other aspect of life. I wish these assholes came with TOXIC warning labels. All I can do is hope he dies while I'm still hot enough to enjoy spending the insurance proceeds.
When the last kid goes off to college, I AM OUT OF HERE!!! |
Anonymous
Yup. Find a good divorce lawyer today. |
Anonymous
| If I could magically keep the kids and vanish my entire relationship with him, I would. |
Anonymous
| I second that! |