husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

You think her 13 yo kid has a say in this woman’s bodily choices? Wow, next thing you know her kid will be voting in 2020 for her.

Canada seems to think this is a good idea.

https://www.thepostmillennial.com/ontario-ndp-passes-resolution-to-lower-voting-age-to-14/

Learn to read. PP is implying that the 11 year old child has a say in a 30+ yo woman's body.

I can read. Direct democracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

Hard to believe. I had mine done after DC#2 at a Catholic hospital and no one asked for DH’s permission.

After you had your second child. its hard with only one child and being 27.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people would give anything to adopt your baby.

The child would have an father who wants it. No need for adoption. If she has it and they divorce, she can sign away parental rights and just raise her current dd

[Anonymous]

You also didn't want your current Dd. Have you ended up loving her at all?

If you have never warmed to her and still resent her presence in your life that is a pretty good indication of how you will feel about the 2nd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The weird part about this post is reducing the problem to how much inheritance her DD will receive.

Troll?

I suspect there's some element of shock and she's not thinking all that clearly. It's amazing what you worry about when you get some unexpected news. I could see myself thinking "but I just bought those expensive jeans and now they won't fit!" Completely insane, but you focus on small things when you're overwhelmed on big things.

OP - if you are just a few weeks pregnant don't do anything now. Sit on it for a week. I do wonder if you aren't a little bit conflicted because if you weren't, why did you even tell your husband? I know women who just took care of it because they knew unequivocally they didn't want another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people would give anything to adopt your baby.

The child would have an father who wants it. No need for adoption. If she has it and they divorce, she can sign away parental rights and just raise her current dd

You know it doesn't really work that way. Nice to think that it would. You either give up for a closed adoption or you have to be willing to be in your child's life. Just because it's her body doesn't give her the right to eff up her children for life. "My mother just walked away from me/us" is not something that a few days of therapy cures. I believe in bodily autonomy, but time to woman up. You had the sex, birth control failure was an option given the methods you chose. There's no pain-free option here, but personally I would NEVER transfer the guilt/pain to a child. It's my job to absorb it.

[Anonymous]

I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The weird part about this post is reducing the problem to how much inheritance her DD will receive.

Troll?

not a troll. We have worked really hard to make sure that our child won't go through the hardship we both went through. We both grew up with struggling single mothers and sometimes school lunch was the only meal hence not wanting kids in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll post.

+1. She would have gotten her tubes tied after the first.

I replied to an earlier poster that the doctor wouldn't do it as we were so young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The weird part about this post is reducing the problem to how much inheritance her DD will receive.

Troll?

not a troll. We have worked really hard to make sure that our child won't go through the hardship we both went through. We both grew up with struggling single mothers and sometimes school lunch was the only meal hence not wanting kids in the first place.

Have you had therapy for this? I completely understand the struggles that poverty can have on people, but it sounds like you're secure now. Don't let childhood poverty take away from you more than it already has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

Not enough reason to make her do something with her body that she doesn’t want to do.

Yes, it is. Unless she is so selfish that she doesn't mind making her so-called love ones live with this for the rest of their lives, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s your body.

And her husband's baby and her DD's sibling.

Neither allows them to decide to go through with the pregnancy. This is solely OP’s decision.

Disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is very selfish indeed for moving the goalposts.

You have every right to abort.

One option is to give up the baby for adoption, but I understand you might not want to carry a baby to term in those conditions.

+1. Everyone jumping on OP conveniently forgets this point. Not once but twice. Grossly unfair.

Did I miss the part where OP got her tubes tied? Didn’t think so.

Oh, so you're saying she's 100% responsible for all reproductive decisions in the family? OK, then she should be able to terminate without issue, if she's carrying 100% of the burden/decision making/birth control. Thanks for clarifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is very selfish indeed for moving the goalposts.

You have every right to abort.

One option is to give up the baby for adoption, but I understand you might not want to carry a baby to term in those conditions.

Wow. Are you always this heartless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The weird part about this post is reducing the problem to how much inheritance her DD will receive.

Troll?

not a troll. We have worked really hard to make sure that our child won't go through the hardship we both went through. We both grew up with struggling single mothers and sometimes school lunch was the only meal hence not wanting kids in the first place.

I am going to guess DD will need to have a prenup if let her get married. Otherwise the husband might get half.