Catholic mom wants us to essentially say grace as part of our Jewish kid’s education ...

[Anonymous]

Tell her saying grace is not part of your religious culture but you’d be happy to let’s her say grace when she visits. Then you tell your child before the meal “Now let’s take a minute so Nana can say one of her prayers for us before we eat”

[Anonymous]

Why make this into an issue? Are you looking for a reason to fight with her?
Or are you looking for a general condemnation of her actions?
She is your mother, you know her best

Remember the 10 commandments? Honor your mother and father is included in it.

My take is that you are confusing your child by making this into an issue

[Anonymous]

OP, I would allow your mother to say whatever "Grace" she wants to as long as she agrees to use a generic reference to G-d rather than J.C.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why make this into an issue? Are you looking for a reason to fight with her?
Or are you looking for a general condemnation of her actions?
She is your mother, you know her best

Remember the 10 commandments? Honor your mother and father is included in it.

My take is that you are confusing your child by making this into an issue

My mom is the one who continues to bring this up, even after I’ve said it’s not what we want to do with our daughter. I would love for this to not be an issue.

[Anonymous]

I'm not understanding why you can't stand up for yourself and just tell your mom you will not be saying grace, and you will be handling your child's religious education. Yes she's being pushy, so it's now on you to establish boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding why you can't stand up for yourself and just tell your mom you will not be saying grace, and you will be handling your child's religious education. Yes she's being pushy, so it's now on you to establish boundaries.

I’ve tried. She keeps pushing it.

[Anonymous]

You have the right to raise your kids as you want, but technically you are actually not Jewish and neither are your children unless you converted when you married your husband.
In Judaism, the religion is passed from mother to children. So maybe this is where you mom is coming from as she sees (correctly) her grand kids as Christians.

No flame please, I am just pointing out the law.

Now if you want to raise your kids Jewish, I am sure you are aware of the prayer on "washing of hands" followed by the prayer on bread, both are said before eating a meal. And pretty much ANY food has to have a prayer BEFORE eating (haEtz, Hadama, ChaAhKol, ...). In fact, in Judaism, you actually recognize God in pretty much everything. The largest difference between Christianity and Judaism (without wanting to go into theological discussions) is that the God of Israel is unique (no man is or can become God -- nothing with trinity and virgin birth) AND the God of Israel is not into "turning your other cheek" stuff. That is very Christian.
But praying God to have given us what we eat, is not Christian per-se.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the right to raise your kids as you want, but technically you are actually not Jewish and neither are your children unless you converted when you married your husband.
In Judaism, the religion is passed from mother to children. So maybe this is where you mom is coming from as she sees (correctly) her grand kids as Christians.

No flame please, I am just pointing out the law.

Now if you want to raise your kids Jewish, I am sure you are aware of the prayer on "washing of hands" followed by the prayer on bread, both are said before eating a meal. And pretty much ANY food has to have a prayer BEFORE eating (haEtz, Hadama, ChaAhKol, ...). In fact, in Judaism, you actually recognize God in pretty much everything. The largest difference between Christianity and Judaism (without wanting to go into theological discussions) is that the God of Israel is unique (no man is or can become God -- nothing with trinity and virgin birth) AND the God of Israel is not into "turning your other cheek" stuff. That is very Christian.
But praying God to have given us what we eat, is not Christian per-se.

My mom absolutely does not consider her Christian. I can assure you of that.

The maternal line thing is only still in play in Orthodox congregations and some very strict Conservative ones. DH’s family is full of rabbis and strict Jews and they have said it’s an outdated thing that really very few non-Orthodox Jews take seriously anymore.

Citing some “law” that has no relevance in the 21st century is honestly just weird. Moreover you are in the minority (assuming you are a Conservative Jew):

The Ratner Center for the Study of Conservative Judaism conducted a survey of 1,617 members of 27 Conservative congregations in the U.S. and Canada in 1995.[116] 69% of respondents to the Ratner Center survey agreed that they would regard personally as a Jew anyone who was raised Jewish—even if their mother was Gentile and their father was Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding why you can't stand up for yourself and just tell your mom you will not be saying grace, and you will be handling your child's religious education. Yes she's being pushy, so it's now on you to establish boundaries.

I’ve tried. She keeps pushing it.

You just have to push back politely every time and end conversation. Similar wording every time. "Mom we discussed this already. Saying grace and praying before bed is not going to be part of my child's Jewish religious education". "How about the smiths new car?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the right to raise your kids as you want, but technically you are actually not Jewish and neither are your children unless you converted when you married your husband.
In Judaism, the religion is passed from mother to children. So maybe this is where you mom is coming from as she sees (correctly) her grand kids as Christians.

No flame please, I am just pointing out the law.

Now if you want to raise your kids Jewish, I am sure you are aware of the prayer on "washing of hands" followed by the prayer on bread, both are said before eating a meal. And pretty much ANY food has to have a prayer BEFORE eating (haEtz, Hadama, ChaAhKol, ...). In fact, in Judaism, you actually recognize God in pretty much everything. The largest difference between Christianity and Judaism (without wanting to go into theological discussions) is that the God of Israel is unique (no man is or can become God -- nothing with trinity and virgin birth) AND the God of Israel is not into "turning your other cheek" stuff. That is very Christian.
But praying God to have given us what we eat, is not Christian per-se.

My daughter isn’t Christian just because her grandma is ...

She hasn’t been baptized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding why you can't stand up for yourself and just tell your mom you will not be saying grace, and you will be handling your child's religious education. Yes she's being pushy, so it's now on you to establish boundaries.

I’ve tried. She keeps pushing it.

You just have to push back politely every time and end conversation. Similar wording every time. "Mom we discussed this already. Saying grace and praying before bed is not going to be part of my child's Jewish religious education". "How about the smiths new car?"

This. Can’t believe the posters who are arguing with you and telling you to give in on this, but whatever. Tell her you don’t want to discuss it anymore and every time she mentions it, say “we’re not talking about this anymore.” Every single time. It will be annoying, but she’ll get it eventually. Stop explaining, stop defending yourself, stop engaging on this topic. She’s your mom, so assume it comes from love, so speak in a kind, respectful tone of voice, but keep it the same “we’re not talking about this anymore, mom. Have you heard from aunt Betsy lately?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding why you can't stand up for yourself and just tell your mom you will not be saying grace, and you will be handling your child's religious education. Yes she's being pushy, so it's now on you to establish boundaries.

I’ve tried. She keeps pushing it.

tell her you won't discuss it any more. then hang up the phone/walk away.

[Anonymous]

Tell her shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the right to raise your kids as you want, but technically you are actually not Jewish and neither are your children unless you converted when you married your husband.
In Judaism, the religion is passed from mother to children. So maybe this is where you mom is coming from as she sees (correctly) her grand kids as Christians.

No flame please, I am just pointing out the law.

Now if you want to raise your kids Jewish, I am sure you are aware of the prayer on "washing of hands" followed by the prayer on bread, both are said before eating a meal. And pretty much ANY food has to have a prayer BEFORE eating (haEtz, Hadama, ChaAhKol, ...). In fact, in Judaism, you actually recognize God in pretty much everything. The largest difference between Christianity and Judaism (without wanting to go into theological discussions) is that the God of Israel is unique (no man is or can become God -- nothing with trinity and virgin birth) AND the God of Israel is not into "turning your other cheek" stuff. That is very Christian.
But praying God to have given us what we eat, is not Christian per-se.

you're even worse than the pushy Christians. Op's child is Jewish, period. And even if she is not Jewish per your fundamentalist congregation, that doesn't mean the child is Christian through genetics. Not how it works!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the right to raise your kids as you want, but technically you are actually not Jewish and neither are your children unless you converted when you married your husband.
In Judaism, the religion is passed from mother to children. So maybe this is where you mom is coming from as she sees (correctly) her grand kids as Christians.

No flame please, I am just pointing out the law.

Now if you want to raise your kids Jewish, I am sure you are aware of the prayer on "washing of hands" followed by the prayer on bread, both are said before eating a meal. And pretty much ANY food has to have a prayer BEFORE eating (haEtz, Hadama, ChaAhKol, ...). In fact, in Judaism, you actually recognize God in pretty much everything. The largest difference between Christianity and Judaism (without wanting to go into theological discussions) is that the God of Israel is unique (no man is or can become God -- nothing with trinity and virgin birth) AND the God of Israel is not into "turning your other cheek" stuff. That is very Christian.
But praying God to have given us what we eat, is not Christian per-se.

you're even worse than the pushy Christians. Op's child is Jewish, period. And even if she is not Jewish per your fundamentalist congregation, that doesn't mean the child is Christian through genetics. Not how it works!!

+1. This child is being raise a Reform Jew and the kid is Jewish.

No one enjoys it when the very-religious-but-full-of-themselves weigh in.

OP, Good luck getting your mom to back off. Can you compromise with a different and Jewish blessing when she is over? I certainly agree that the words she is proposing are pretty Christian in tone. I’d be put-off, too.