Catholic mom wants us to essentially say grace as part of our Jewish kid’s education ...

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I know it’s confusing.

I have a Catholic mom and Jewish dad. I was raised Jewish. DH was raised Jewish as well. We are doing the same with our daughter. Oddly my mom is very invested in ensuring our daughter (who is young but will start Hebrew school soon) has a religious education, but is weirdly infusing what we see as Christian themes into it.

She doesn’t mean to, I don’t think, but it’s what she knows.

The latest example is her strongly urging that we essentially say a version of grace (without Jesus) before meals. Something like “thank you Lord for our food and for our health. Please help so and so feel better and help people who are hungry tonight.”

It’s all nice, but not consistent with Judaism. We’re uncomfortable with it because it introduces a way of thinking about God that isn’t particularly Jewish. Not to mention it isn’t the way Jews deal with mealtime prayers or praying for the sick.

I’ve told her this but she keeps pushing it.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

When my kids were in preschool some parents objected to saying "We're thankful for food, family and friends" before snack. Unreal. I guess I don't understand why it's not Jewish -- isn't it part of the Jewish religion to say something before a meal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were in preschool some parents objected to saying "We're thankful for food, family and friends" before snack. Unreal. I guess I don't understand why it's not Jewish -- isn't it part of the Jewish religion to say something before a meal?

It’s actually not really Jewish. We have prayers over concrete food items, but not general thankfulness. We do that at other times. Grace is very much a Christian thing. Praying for the sick happens in a very specific way, not just over food.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's good for your kids to feel comfortable with saying grace. They'll encounter it a lot in other settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's good for your kids to feel comfortable with saying grace. They'll encounter it a lot in other settings.

That’s different than having it be part of her religion education, which is what my mom is saying. She says we should do it in our home. Why would we do that when we’re not Christian?

[Anonymous]

Do you say a ha’motzi before meals? Do you ever do a birkat hamazon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you say a ha’motzi before meals? Do you ever do a birkat hamazon?

Yeah but those are specific prayers for concrete food items. We have a specific way of praying for the sick and poor and it isn’t over food. DH says it’s actually somewhat blasphemous to relegate those things to mealtime or to say even food blessings in some sort of approximate English language way.

She says we need to say grace in an English way that DD can understand. If anything, we’d say a ha’amotzi, but that’s not what she keeps asking for. In fact, Jewish before meal prayers are usually said in silent except for Shabbat or holidays, which certainly doesn’t comport with her vision.

[Anonymous]

Sorry — should’ve said food items, land, God’s goodness ... but not the sick or poor. And they’re sacred Hebrew texts, not some thing in English you just make up.

[Anonymous]

Blessed are You, L-rd our G?d, King of the universe, Who, in His goodness, provides sustenance for the entire world with grace, with kindness, and with mercy. He gives food to all flesh, for His kindness is everlasting. Through His great goodness to us continuously we do not lack [food], and may we never lack food, for the sake of His great Name. For He, benevolent G?d, provides nourishment and sustenance for all, does good to all, and prepares food for all His creatures whom He has created, as it is said: You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. Blessed are You, L-rd, Who provides food for all.


This is pretty much what your mother is suggesting. I prefer it in the Hebrew, but you can say it in English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blessed are You, L-rd our G?d, King of the universe, Who, in His goodness, provides sustenance for the entire world with grace, with kindness, and with mercy. He gives food to all flesh, for His kindness is everlasting. Through His great goodness to us continuously we do not lack [food], and may we never lack food, for the sake of His great Name. For He, benevolent G?d, provides nourishment and sustenance for all, does good to all, and prepares food for all His creatures whom He has created, as it is said: You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. Blessed are You, L-rd, Who provides food for all.


This is pretty much what your mother is suggesting. I prefer it in the Hebrew, but you can say it in English.

It doesn’t ask God to do things for individual people, though. That seems to us very Christian.

[Anonymous]

Your mother has no say in your DD's religion. Tell her grace doesn't follow your religious beliefs and she needs to stop. Former christian protestant, current atheist here. We never said grace. I found it uncomfortable as a child when eating with catholics who said grace and we were all christian. It's understandable that you do not want your child to do this. Put your foot down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother has no say in your DD's religion. Tell her grace doesn't follow your religious beliefs and she needs to stop. Former christian protestant, current atheist here. We never said grace. I found it uncomfortable as a child when eating with catholics who said grace and we were all christian. It's understandable that you do not want your child to do this. Put your foot down.

you have an agenda and your view doesn't count

[Anonymous]

OP is being unreasonable. Who cares about a little prayer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mother has no say in your DD's religion. Tell her grace doesn't follow your religious beliefs and she needs to stop. Former christian protestant, current atheist here. We never said grace. I found it uncomfortable as a child when eating with catholics who said grace and we were all christian. It's understandable that you do not want your child to do this. Put your foot down.

you have an agenda and your view doesn't count

? What? OP here. How is that at all fair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is being unreasonable. Who cares about a little prayer?

What would you think if someone asked you to say the ha’amotzi? After all, it’s just a little prayer.

Prayers have significance.