Catholic mom wants us to essentially say grace as part of our Jewish kid’s education ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom’s grace isn’t very catholic. She is imposing her own “spirituality” on you.

If she is searching and mixed up, but not seeking resources outside her own head, I feel bad for her. But I can see why she is frikkin’ annoying. Plus, she is showing disrespect for the OPs childhood.

Nothing we can say to OP will matter, since all OP wants is for her to stop talking.

Has the advice been anything but getting her to shut up?

She has gotten very little advice on how to get her mom to back off. (The rabbi may have some, or some good resources). Most of us have just said “tell your mom “no”, which she already knows.

Cover mom’s eyes with a kerchief, stand her up in a clear space, spin her around 5 times fast, and sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Should work like a charm. Don’t knock it till yiu try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just modify what's being said to fit your faith? Simple fix.

My mom's specific request is something in English that says certain things that do not fit with Judaism.

Like what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom’s grace isn’t very catholic. She is imposing her own “spirituality” on you.

If she is searching and mixed up, but not seeking resources outside her own head, I feel bad for her. But I can see why she is frikkin’ annoying. Plus, she is showing disrespect for the OPs childhood.

Nothing we can say to OP will matter, since all OP wants is for her to stop talking.

Has the advice been anything but getting her to shut up?

She has gotten very little advice on how to get her mom to back off. (The rabbi may have some, or some good resources). Most of us have just said “tell your mom “no”, which she already knows.

Sometimes there’s just no substitute for “no.” Sometimes there’s just no way to sugarcoat something, or wrap it up with a nice little bow so mom will be happy with the result. Mom isn’t going to be happy with with any of the (actually numerous) wording suggestions here. Some ways of saying “no” may soften the blow, but it is will still be a blow.

OP seems to be struggling with the fact that “no” can be hard to say, and that sometimes you may have to repeat “no” multiple times for the message to get through.

But that’s what adults have to do, sometimes. That’s why people here are giving OP a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom’s grace isn’t very catholic. She is imposing her own “spirituality” on you.

If she is searching and mixed up, but not seeking resources outside her own head, I feel bad for her. But I can see why she is frikkin’ annoying. Plus, she is showing disrespect for the OPs childhood.

Nothing we can say to OP will matter, since all OP wants is for her to stop talking.

Has the advice been anything but getting her to shut up?

She has gotten very little advice on how to get her mom to back off. (The rabbi may have some, or some good resources). Most of us have just said “tell your mom “no”, which she already knows.

Sometimes there’s just no substitute for “no.” Sometimes there’s just no way to sugarcoat something, or wrap it up with a nice little bow so mom will be happy with the result. Mom isn’t going to be happy with with any of the (actually numerous) wording suggestions here. Some ways of saying “no” may soften the blow, but it is will still be a blow.

OP seems to be struggling with the fact that “no” can be hard to say, and that sometimes you may have to repeat “no” multiple times for the message to get through.

But that’s what adults have to do, sometimes. That’s why people here are giving OP a hard time.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom’s grace isn’t very catholic. She is imposing her own “spirituality” on you.

If she is searching and mixed up, but not seeking resources outside her own head, I feel bad for her. But I can see why she is frikkin’ annoying. Plus, she is showing disrespect for the OPs childhood.

Nothing we can say to OP will matter, since all OP wants is for her to stop talking.

Has the advice been anything but getting her to shut up?

She has gotten very little advice on how to get her mom to back off. (The rabbi may have some, or some good resources). Most of us have just said “tell your mom “no”, which she already knows.

Sometimes there’s just no substitute for “no.” Sometimes there’s just no way to sugarcoat something, or wrap it up with a nice little bow so mom will be happy with the result. Mom isn’t going to be happy with with any of the (actually numerous) wording suggestions here. Some ways of saying “no” may soften the blow, but it is will still be a blow.

OP seems to be struggling with the fact that “no” can be hard to say, and that sometimes you may have to repeat “no” multiple times for the message to get through.

But that’s what adults have to do, sometimes. That’s why people here are giving OP a hard time.

+100

When did I ever say otherwise? Ever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you say a ha’motzi before meals? Do you ever do a birkat hamazon?

Yeah but those are specific prayers for concrete food items. We have a specific way of praying for the sick and poor and it isn’t over food. DH says it’s actually somewhat blasphemous to relegate those things to mealtime or to say even food blessings in some sort of approximate English language way.

She says we need to say grace in an English way that DD can understand. If anything, we’d say a ha’amotzi, but that’s not what she keeps asking for. In fact, Jewish before meal prayers are usually said in silent except for Shabbat or holidays, which certainly doesn’t comport with her vision.

You can implement the Jewish and Quaker moment of silence before the meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom’s grace isn’t very catholic. She is imposing her own “spirituality” on you.

If she is searching and mixed up, but not seeking resources outside her own head, I feel bad for her. But I can see why she is frikkin’ annoying. Plus, she is showing disrespect for the OPs childhood.

Nothing we can say to OP will matter, since all OP wants is for her to stop talking.

Has the advice been anything but getting her to shut up?

She has gotten very little advice on how to get her mom to back off. (The rabbi may have some, or some good resources). Most of us have just said “tell your mom “no”, which she already knows.

Sometimes there’s just no substitute for “no.” Sometimes there’s just no way to sugarcoat something, or wrap it up with a nice little bow so mom will be happy with the result. Mom isn’t going to be happy with with any of the (actually numerous) wording suggestions here. Some ways of saying “no” may soften the blow, but it is will still be a blow.

OP seems to be struggling with the fact that “no” can be hard to say, and that sometimes you may have to repeat “no” multiple times for the message to get through.

But that’s what adults have to do, sometimes. That’s why people here are giving OP a hard time.

+100

When did I ever say otherwise? Ever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I know it’s confusing.

I have a Catholic mom and Jewish dad. I was raised Jewish. DH was raised Jewish as well. We are doing the same with our daughter. Oddly my mom is very invested in ensuring our daughter (who is young but will start Hebrew school soon) has a religious education, but is weirdly infusing what we see as Christian themes into it.

She doesn’t mean to, I don’t think, but it’s what she knows.

The latest example is her strongly urging that we essentially say a version of grace (without Jesus) before meals. Something like “thank you Lord for our food and for our health. Please help so and so feel better and help people who are hungry tonight.”

It’s all nice, but not consistent with Judaism. We’re uncomfortable with it because it introduces a way of thinking about God that isn’t particularly Jewish. Not to mention it isn’t the way Jews deal with mealtime prayers or praying for the sick.

I’ve told her this but she keeps pushing it.

But you aren’t rally Jewish. Religion in Judaism and Catholic Church is based off Moms religion. Hence you are not a real Jew

Advice?

[Anonymous]

Pope slap her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I know it’s confusing.

I have a Catholic mom and Jewish dad. I was raised Jewish. DH was raised Jewish as well. We are doing the same with our daughter. Oddly my mom is very invested in ensuring our daughter (who is young but will start Hebrew school soon) has a religious education, but is weirdly infusing what we see as Christian themes into it.

She doesn’t mean to, I don’t think, but it’s what she knows.

The latest example is her strongly urging that we essentially say a version of grace (without Jesus) before meals. Something like “thank you Lord for our food and for our health. Please help so and so feel better and help people who are hungry tonight.”

It’s all nice, but not consistent with Judaism. We’re uncomfortable with it because it introduces a way of thinking about God that isn’t particularly Jewish. Not to mention it isn’t the way Jews deal with mealtime prayers or praying for the sick.

I’ve told her this but she keeps pushing it.

But you aren’t rally Jewish. Religion in Judaism and Catholic Church is based off Moms religion. Hence you are not a real Jew

Advice?

Huh???? I can’t even with your ignorance. Catholics have zero matrilineal or patrilineal heritage sense. For Jews it’s a dying perception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I know it’s confusing.

I have a Catholic mom and Jewish dad. I was raised Jewish. DH was raised Jewish as well. We are doing the same with our daughter. Oddly my mom is very invested in ensuring our daughter (who is young but will start Hebrew school soon) has a religious education, but is weirdly infusing what we see as Christian themes into it.

She doesn’t mean to, I don’t think, but it’s what she knows.

The latest example is her strongly urging that we essentially say a version of grace (without Jesus) before meals. Something like “thank you Lord for our food and for our health. Please help so and so feel better and help people who are hungry tonight.”

It’s all nice, but not consistent with Judaism. We’re uncomfortable with it because it introduces a way of thinking about God that isn’t particularly Jewish. Not to mention it isn’t the way Jews deal with mealtime prayers or praying for the sick.

I’ve told her this but she keeps pushing it.

But you aren’t rally Jewish. Religion in Judaism and Catholic Church is based off Moms religion. Hence you are not a real Jew

Advice?

Huh???? I can’t even with your ignorance. Catholics have zero matrilineal or patrilineal heritage sense. For Jews it’s a dying perception.

Are you talking about the halachla? The Jewish law that says your mother needs to be Jewish ?
That is not a dying perception.

OP must come to terms with her mother not converting to Judaism. Let it be. There is nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

Saying thank you before a meal is basic to almost all religions. This isn’t a big deal OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying thank you before a meal is basic to almost all religions. This isn’t a big deal OP.

What is a big deal to OP is that her mother is Catholic

[Anonymous]

I have not read the whole thread but sometimes you just have to say no. Either say a Jewish prayer before meals or no prayer to follow the Jewish tradition.

Tell Mom you are raising the children in the Jewish tradition and this is what you do in your household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I know it’s confusing.

I have a Catholic mom and Jewish dad. I was raised Jewish. DH was raised Jewish as well. We are doing the same with our daughter. Oddly my mom is very invested in ensuring our daughter (who is young but will start Hebrew school soon) has a religious education, but is weirdly infusing what we see as Christian themes into it.

She doesn’t mean to, I don’t think, but it’s what she knows.

The latest example is her strongly urging that we essentially say a version of grace (without Jesus) before meals. Something like “thank you Lord for our food and for our health. Please help so and so feel better and help people who are hungry tonight.”

It’s all nice, but not consistent with Judaism. We’re uncomfortable with it because it introduces a way of thinking about God that isn’t particularly Jewish. Not to mention it isn’t the way Jews deal with mealtime prayers or praying for the sick.

I’ve told her this but she keeps pushing it.

But you aren’t rally Jewish. Religion in Judaism and Catholic Church is based off Moms religion. Hence you are not a real Jew

Advice?

Huh???? I can’t even with your ignorance. Catholics have zero matrilineal or patrilineal heritage sense. For Jews it’s a dying perception.

This is true in a legal sense about Catholicism but in practical terms Catholic mothers are most often the ones that teach kids the faith.