How Do U Know When to Pull Plug?

[Anonymous]

I never understand why (mostly) young women consume alcohol in the company of men who “might” rape them, not to mention get behind the wheel.

1. NOT her fault that she was raped.
2. Girls must learn that alcohol DIMINISHES their ability to PROTECT themselves from RAPISTS.
3. Better to drink at home with girlfriends who you know will not rape you.

Why do you think guys are so eager to buy you drinks???

This isn’t rocket science. Let’s help our girls to be safe. Until little (and big) boys learn that “NO Means NO” - we’ll keep having lots of abusers out there.

“Self-control and RESPECT for women and girls begins in the HOME.” Few parents seem to understand this. MAKE your sons OBEY you. Hence, No means NO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is driving drunk at 5:30 am she has a problem
with alcoholism. She could have killed people on the road.

While that is true, she may have been out to 3am, slept and then came home. It does not mean she was drinking in the AM.

Whether you like it or not, many college age students drink until 3am.

What she needs to be educated about is that she can't drive in the am when she goes to bed at 3am.

She has only been drinking 6 months of her life, I highly doubt she is a full blown alcoholic.

She needs counseling, she is not an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never understand why (mostly) young women consume alcohol in the company of men who “might” rape them, not to mention get behind the wheel.

1. NOT her fault that she was raped.
2. Girls must learn that alcohol DIMINISHES their ability to PROTECT themselves from RAPISTS.
3. Better to drink at home with girlfriends who you know will not rape you.

Why do you think guys are so eager to buy you drinks???

This isn’t rocket science. Let’s help our girls to be safe. Until little (and big) boys learn that “NO Means NO” - we’ll keep having lots of abusers out there.

“Self-control and RESPECT for women and girls begins in the HOME.” Few parents seem to understand this. MAKE your sons OBEY you. Hence, No means NO.

1. Nobody said she was drinking when she was raped. She was home alone.
2. Girls being girls diminish their ability to protect themselves from rapists... or showering, or being small, or working late at night, or walking in a parking lot...
3. So never drink anywhere but home and with girls... okay genius

WTF!

Believe me... you are no rocket scientist.

[Anonymous]

Wow is all I an say to the 1950's era poster who said when will girls learn not to drink around men who might rape them.

So, the only safe route is to drink with other females. That is some culture you are enabling.

Girls should be able to walk down Main St naked and drunk, without getting viciously attacked. Unfortunately, a few men are unjailed predators, reared in a society that exploits women, valuing them for their looks and entertainment value. So here we are.

[Anonymous]

No one gets raped when they’re home alone, Einstein.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one gets raped when they’re home alone, Einstein.

For 9:15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow is all I an say to the 1950's era poster who said when will girls learn not to drink around men who might rape them.

So, the only safe route is to drink with other females. That is some culture you are enabling.

Girls should be able to walk down Main St naked and drunk, without getting viciously attacked. Unfortunately, a few men are unjailed predators, reared in a society that exploits women, valuing them for their looks and entertainment value. So here we are.

If you believe it’s only a few males ready to pounce on your drunk daughter, you are delusional. Young women have a right and a responsibility to be safe from predators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-the-criminal-mind/201307/errors-in-thinking-apply-alcoholics-problem-drinkers

*Failure to put oneself in the place of others;
*Lying (about their drinking and other aspects of their life);
*A domineering personality in which controlling others is paramount to their self esteem;
*Unrealistic expectations of others and often of themselves;
*A pronounced proclivity to blame others or circumstances when they are held accountable;
*An ability to shut off from awareness their knowledge of possible consequences to their actions;
*A thin skin in which they take small slights very personally;
*A tendency to defer or totally default when it comes to fulfilling obligations;
*A failure to deal constructively with adversity.

My recovering DH is the most honest man I know...except when it comes to his alcoholism. He will lie, lie, lie. Do not think you daughter is telling you the truth;she's not.

And they have very much over estimate their ability to overcome alcoholism.

This exactly. Most kids habitually lie to their parents about tons of stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rehab for a kid who’s been letting off steam after grinding her way into a top 15 U for probably last 10 years? You guys sound like nutbags.

Now if her grades were awful, she bombed all her AP exams, and she got fired from a summer job. Yeah, I’d probably have her do a gap year. But we need more details.

I would let her go to college, but no car there and have her go to counseling there.

I agree.

Basically you are punishing her for being raped.

You need to get her into counseling and alcohol counseling. But I would not "pull the plug".

Find a counselor close to her school, she has a current shrink that can help with this.

WTF. Rehab is not punishment for being raped.

Rehab is treatment for a medical condition (addiction). The girl can go to college, once she gets treated and once she has a handle on herself.

Going to college with untreated alcoholism is recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone, who has NEVER met this child, diagnosing her.

Those of you so convinced of what the situation is and how to handle it, obviously have baggage that is making you see everything thru one lense. Have a little faith in this parent and the professionals he has engaged. Just be supportive, not preachy already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD worked really hard her whole HS years and was accepted into NU. For the last 6 months she has developed a problem with alcohol.

She leaves in 3 weeks and showed up drunk in her car on early Friday am (5:30am). She was attacked by a boy who was home alone and one she thought of as a casual friend.

We texted with her shrink (migraines and panic attacks) over the weekend and she has an appointment with him on Thursday.

I am just unsure that sending her to college is the right thing to do. She claims her drinking issues stem from this town and she is just desperate to go to college.

WWYD?

Do you know any of her college friends?
And their drinking routine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow is all I an say to the 1950's era poster who said when will girls learn not to drink around men who might rape them.

So, the only safe route is to drink with other females. That is some culture you are enabling.

Girls should be able to walk down Main St naked and drunk, without getting viciously attacked. Unfortunately, a few men are unjailed predators, reared in a society that exploits women, valuing them for their looks and entertainment value. So here we are.

You sound unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand why (mostly) young women consume alcohol in the company of men who “might” rape them, not to mention get behind the wheel.

1. NOT her fault that she was raped.
2. Girls must learn that alcohol DIMINISHES their ability to PROTECT themselves from RAPISTS.
3. Better to drink at home with girlfriends who you know will not rape you.

Why do you think guys are so eager to buy you drinks???

This isn’t rocket science. Let’s help our girls to be safe. Until little (and big) boys learn that “NO Means NO” - we’ll keep having lots of abusers out there.

“Self-control and RESPECT for women and girls begins in the HOME.” Few parents seem to understand this. MAKE your sons OBEY you. Hence, No means NO.

1. Nobody said she was drinking when she was raped. She was home alone.
2. Girls being girls diminish their ability to protect themselves from rapists... or showering, or being small, or working late at night, or walking in a parking lot...
3. So never drink anywhere but home and with girls... okay genius

WTF!

Believe me... you are no rocket scientist.

It’s probably a little difficult when you’re drunk to get up and storm out the door when a guy is making the moves, and he’s ignoring your “no”.

How would YOU protect YOURSELF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand why (mostly) young women consume alcohol in the company of men who “might” rape them, not to mention get behind the wheel.

1. NOT her fault that she was raped.
2. Girls must learn that alcohol DIMINISHES their ability to PROTECT themselves from RAPISTS.
3. Better to drink at home with girlfriends who you know will not rape you.

Why do you think guys are so eager to buy you drinks???

This isn’t rocket science. Let’s help our girls to be safe. Until little (and big) boys learn that “NO Means NO” - we’ll keep having lots of abusers out there.

“Self-control and RESPECT for women and girls begins in the HOME.” Few parents seem to understand this. MAKE your sons OBEY you. Hence, No means NO.

1. Nobody said she was drinking when she was raped. She was home alone.
2. Girls being girls diminish their ability to protect themselves from rapists... or showering, or being small, or working late at night, or walking in a parking lot...
3. So never drink anywhere but home and with girls... okay genius

WTF!

Believe me... you are no rocket scientist.

It’s probably a little difficult when you’re drunk to get up and storm out the door when a guy is making the moves, and he’s ignoring your “no”.

How would YOU protect YOURSELF?

How do YOU protect YOURSELF from your husband raping you?

[Anonymous]

But do you get that the PROBLEM in this scenario is the male, not the female or her behavior.

Where does this leave children? At the mercy of whatever sick male they happen to find in their social circle?

Focus on the actions of the predators, not restricting the potential victims.