Clueless biracial nephew

[Anonymous]

OP, you should seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds lonely and likely needs to feel like she is impacting someone’s life in some profound way so she feels useful. Why are you focusing on your nephew and not your niece?

[Anonymous]

OP, most white people really won't get the intricacies of systemic racism. You're nephew, although biracial, is at this point a white person. White friends, white area, white spouse, and probably a white house. The only thing you can do is be there for him. Also OP, you are not angry or whatever these PPs are saying you are. You are just concerned for your nephew's well-being. A lot of biracial men who've never had black friends or black experiences live this kind of lifestyle, and they only really get in touch with their black side until something tragic happens. It is what is is.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are creating an issue that is not there for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: All I do is ask questions. I listen. I don’t point and I want him to come to me first. But part of me wants to help him understand but I’m not sure how until he opens his eyes.

You want him to understand that he is the victim of racism when he feels that he has not been the victim of racism. And you're frustrated by that.

Exactly. OP in fact has TONS of baggage!

You people are insane! His own mother in law did not like him because of his race!!! She had a hard time accepting that she had a black son in law. Meanwhile the nephew doesn’t see color?!?

Are all of you high?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: All I do is ask questions. I listen. I don’t point and I want him to come to me first. But part of me wants to help him understand but I’m not sure how until he opens his eyes.

You want him to understand that he is the victim of racism when he feels that he has not been the victim of racism. And you're frustrated by that.

Exactly. OP in fact has TONS of baggage!

You people are insane! His own mother in law did not like him because of his race!!! She had a hard time accepting that she had a black son in law. Meanwhile the nephew doesn’t see color?!?

Are all of you high?

No, we get that. It's one thing (a big thing, to be sure). But if nephew doesn't feel like he's been the victim of racism in other areas of his life, who is OP to tell him different?

[Anonymous]

OP carries a huge chip on her shoulder and wants nephew to feel the weight of it too.

[Anonymous]

So he is comfortable with who he is, and you want to make him a victim. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Why did your Brother abandon his children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he is comfortable with who he is, and you want to make him a victim. Wow.

Sounds like he’s decided he is transracial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, most white people really won't get the intricacies of systemic racism. You're nephew, although biracial, is at this point a white person. White friends, white area, white spouse, and probably a white house. The only thing you can do is be there for him. Also OP, you are not angry or whatever these PPs are saying you are. You are just concerned for your nephew's well-being. A lot of biracial men who've never had black friends or black experiences live this kind of lifestyle, and they only really get in touch with their black side until something tragic happens. It is what is is.

His black side left him. Why would he seek to be like his father? He wants to be different from his father.

[Anonymous]

Again, why is your nephew and not your niece the sole focus of your desperate attempt to be his history of racism teacher? Doesn’t she have the same lessons to learn? Or are you focused on him because he married a white woman, worse yet a white woman who has a mother who was unaccepting of your nephew for years? My guess is that if you try and drive a wedge between your nephew and his wife, you’ll quickly learn that you’re no longer welcome. Marriage is hard enough without the meddling of distant busy body, sanctimonious relatives.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’re nuts if you don’t think your nephew has felt racism. I’m sure if he felt safe to talk about it he could point to times in his life when he’s felt his “otherness”. Not sure why you feel like it’s your job to make him feel those things. My guess is he has. He’s just learned how to navigate those tricky waters. Good for him.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’re ready to blow up your relationship with this nephew and part of your logic is that you are going to do this on behalf of an adoptive child who may or may not ever exist.

Do you know how nutty this sounds?

I think you’re 100% right about racism and your nephew does sound kind of willfully clueless, but you are willfully catastrophizing about someone else’s life. It’s creepy AF.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound crazy. Leave your nephew alone. He doesn’t need you to explain racism to him. And I bet he also doesnt need you to move close to him for “support”

He isn’t the first person to not be overtly adored by an in-law over race, religion, cultural background, socioeconomic status, profession, age, or a variety of other things.