Dating Divorced Older Men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

Puke.

Yes their marry their cubby secretary who then convinced them to have more kids and she will sAH. Disaster!

Another time traveler from the 1950s. I haven't seen a secretary in a workplace for nearly 30 years.

I guess you haven't seen a Dentist or a Doctor in 30 years either. Gross.

Every dentist office I've been to for the past 20 years has been all-female; female dentists, female hygienists, female front office staff.

Do these dentists sleep with or marry their admins? I don't know, and I don't care.

I'm a guy. I think this is an appropriate moment to mention the time the female dental hygienist who told me--while her hands were in my mouth--that she'd love to be sitting where her hands were. That's all I have on this. Thanks for reading.

[Anonymous]

I have a decent sex drive and I'm 50 but this thread is depressing. Who reaches middle age and is this transactional and shallow? The dental hygienist comment above - yuck. Even if said in a "joking" manner.

I'd rather be celibate and focus on my life's worth, and just miss sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

Puke.

Yes their marry their cubby secretary who then convinced them to have more kids and she will sAH. Disaster!

Another time traveler from the 1950s. I haven't seen a secretary in a workplace for nearly 30 years.

I guess you haven't seen a Dentist or a Doctor in 30 years either. Gross.

Every dentist office I've been to for the past 20 years has been all-female; female dentists, female hygienists, female front office staff.

Do these dentists sleep with or marry their admins? I don't know, and I don't care.

Umm, way to miss the point. A PP claimed the profession of secretary has gone the way of the Do Do. My own personal experience is that Doctor and Dentist offices still have them, as well as many, many, many other workplaces, mine included.

I'd also add that "front office staff" is synonymous with secretary, but your mileage may vary.

Call your front office staff "secretaries" and come back here and tell us their reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a decent sex drive and I'm 50 but this thread is depressing. Who reaches middle age and is this transactional and shallow? The dental hygienist comment above - yuck. Even if said in a "joking" manner.

I'd rather be celibate and focus on my life's worth, and just miss sex.

Many men believe it is transactional and they can keep their feelings out of sex . . .until they meet someone that they like who doesn't like them back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

Puke.

Yes their marry their cubby secretary who then convinced them to have more kids and she will sAH. Disaster!

Another time traveler from the 1950s. I haven't seen a secretary in a workplace for nearly 30 years.

I guess you haven't seen a Dentist or a Doctor in 30 years either. Gross.

Every dentist office I've been to for the past 20 years has been all-female; female dentists, female hygienists, female front office staff.

Do these dentists sleep with or marry their admins? I don't know, and I don't care.

Umm, way to miss the point. A PP claimed the profession of secretary has gone the way of the Do Do. My own personal experience is that Doctor and Dentist offices still have them, as well as many, many, many other workplaces, mine included.

I'd also add that "front office staff" is synonymous with secretary, but your mileage may vary.

Umm, you are the one who missed the point.
A PP said that older divorced guys marry their secretary.
Another PP said that nobody has secretaries any more and they never see them.
A PP responded "you must not have seen a doctor or dentist" - obviously implying that doctors and dentists have secretaries.
Another PP said dental offices are largely all-female now - obviously implying that a female dentist is not going to marry her female secretary.

Do you need any more spoon-feeding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

Puke.

Yes their marry their cubby secretary who then convinced them to have more kids and she will sAH. Disaster!

Another time traveler from the 1950s. I haven't seen a secretary in a workplace for nearly 30 years.

I guess you h
aven't seen a Dentist or a Doctor in 30 years either. Gross.

You must have had anesthesia. She actually said you were SPITTING where her hands were. So please stop drooling so much sir.

Every dentist office I've been to for the past 20 years has been all-female; female dentists, female hygienists, female front office staff.

Do these dentists sleep with or marry their admins? I don't know, and I don't care.

I'm a guy. I think this is an appropriate moment to mention the time the female dental hygienist who told me--while her hands were in my mouth--that she'd love to be sitting where her hands were. That's all I have on this. Thanks for reading.

[Anonymous]

You must have had anesthesia. She actually said you were SPITTING where her hands were. So please stop drooling so much sir. 

[Anonymous]

Older men in this town are terrible about approaching a woman organically, in-person, to strike up a conversation and ask her out. I think it is the traditional, conservative mentality coupled with admirable politically correct sensibilities, and a pinch of very fragile egos. As a result most older men survey women from behind the safety and relative anonymity of a computer screen and those of us who choose not to participate in techno dating are rarely, if ever, engaged IRL. I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out. In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out.

I don't anyone on this board believes any of this. IF you're half as "fit & attractive" as you think you are, unless there's other issues going on (suck as a poor personality and/or sour attitude) you'd have no problem getting dates.

Anonymous wrote:In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

And then get hit with a #metoo sexual harassment lawsuit? No thanks. Thank modern-day feminists for that. Most men don't need the hassle and aggravation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older men in this town are terrible about approaching a woman organically, in-person, to strike up a conversation and ask her out. I think it is the traditional, conservative mentality coupled with admirable politically correct sensibilities, and a pinch of very fragile egos. [Women of all ages hate, hate, hate rejection and are invariably enraged if a man rejects them, but men have the fragile egos. ] As a result most older men survey women from behind the safety and relative anonymity of a computer screen and those of us who choose not to participate in techno dating are rarely, if ever, engaged IRL. I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out. In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

I am a divorced man in my 50s, and I do online dating, and I see plenty of profiles of fit, attractive, educated women of 50. If you "choose not to participate in techno dating" then that's on you. Somehow these other ladies managed to get over whatever qualms they had about "techno dating".

It is true that online dating provides "safety and anonymity". From a male perspective, I'll tell you the downside, which is that you are competing with a high level of "noise" (she is getting hundreds of messages from other men) and an extremely low response rate (you contact lots of women and very few of them choose to respond).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out.

I don't anyone on this board believes any of this. IF you're half as "fit & attractive" as you think you are, unless there's other issues going on (suck as a poor personality and/or sour attitude) you'd have no problem getting dates.

Anonymous wrote:In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

And then get hit with a #metoo sexual harassment lawsuit? No thanks. Thank modern-day feminists for that. Most men don't need the hassle and aggravation.

I am stopped by someone every week (no joke) who asks me if I teach yoga, or what my workout routine/secret is. Generally it is women who ask these questions here in Washington.

However, when I travel to other cities I have men whistle at me on the street, or make unsolicited compliments about my physical appearance. I smile, thank them, and generally graciously accept these nice gestures with the good will they are (hopefully) intended. In DC a man will not do such a thing. I suppose it is politically sensitive to compliment a woman on her appearance, and I do appreciate the respect and caution exercised by DC men.

As I said in my previous post, I do pick up on the admiring looks that come my way from men. Since some women do not engage in online dating, or frequent bars, I would encourage a man who find a woman attractive to feel free to approach her at the coffee shop, after a religious service or a lecture, at the bookstore, grocery store, or the gym, and say something like, "hey, I noticed you and I both come here often, would you like to join me for coffee or a drink on Saturday." That kind of organic, natural, "old school", personal approach still works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out.

I don't anyone on this board believes any of this. IF you're half as "fit & attractive" as you think you are, unless there's other issues going on (suck as a poor personality and/or sour attitude) you'd have no problem getting dates.

Anonymous wrote:In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

And then get hit with a #metoo sexual harassment lawsuit? No thanks. Thank modern-day feminists for that. Most men don't need the hassle and aggravation.

I am stopped by someone every week (no joke) who asks me if I teach yoga, or what my workout routine/secret is. Generally it is women who ask these questions here in Washington.

However, when I travel to other cities I have men whistle at me on the street, or make unsolicited compliments about my physical appearance. I smile, thank them, and generally graciously accept these nice gestures with the good will they are (hopefully) intended. In DC a man will not do such a thing. I suppose it is politically sensitive to compliment a woman on her appearance, and I do appreciate the respect and caution exercised by DC men.

As I said in my previous post, I do pick up on the admiring looks that come my way from men. Since some women do not engage in online dating, or frequent bars, I would encourage a man who find a woman attractive to feel free to approach her at the coffee shop, after a religious service or a lecture, at the bookstore, grocery store, or the gym, and say something like, "hey, I noticed you and I both come here often, would you like to join me for coffee or a drink on Saturday." That kind of organic, natural, "old school", personal approach still works.

I think this depends on the person. I am divorced after what was a traumatic ending to our relationship, so I know I have some issues there, but when men approach me organically to ask me out, my immediate defense is to say no. Some guy followed me around the block one day to ask me out, that totally weirded me out so I immediately lied and said I had a BF. I'm pretty, but I'm not follow around the block pretty, so to me that raises my alarms. I don't date at work, so that killed a few possibilities. Some guy would look at me and never say anything, it took him months to come up to me to ask me out, and I did because I liked him too. But if I didn't, I doubt I'd have said yes. Point is, if I meet you at Costco and you ask me out, I'm not thinking meet-cute. I'm thinking you're weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out.

I don't anyone on this board believes any of this. IF you're half as "fit & attractive" as you think you are, unless there's other issues going on (suck as a poor personality and/or sour attitude) you'd have no problem getting dates.

Anonymous wrote:In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

And then get hit with a #metoo sexual harassment lawsuit? No thanks. Thank modern-day feminists for that. Most men don't need the hassle and aggravation.

I am stopped by someone every week (no joke) who asks me if I teach yoga, or what my workout routine/secret is. Generally it is women who ask these questions here in Washington.

However, when I travel to other cities I have men whistle at me on the street, or make unsolicited compliments about my physical appearance. I smile, thank them, and generally graciously accept these nice gestures with the good will they are (hopefully) intended. In DC a man will not do such a thing. I suppose it is politically sensitive to compliment a woman on her appearance, and I do appreciate the respect and caution exercised by DC men.

As I said in my previous post, I do pick up on the admiring looks that come my way from men. Since some women do not engage in online dating, or frequent bars, I would encourage a man who find a woman attractive to feel free to approach her at the coffee shop, after a religious service or a lecture, at the bookstore, grocery store, or the gym, and say something like, "hey, I noticed you and I both come here often, would you like to join me for coffee or a drink on Saturday." That kind of organic, natural, "old school", personal approach still works.

Obviously it's not working for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am a fit, attractive, intelligent woman (50), and I receive many admiring looks and casual conversation from older men (particularly silver foxes in their late 50s-early 60s), but no one asks me out.

I don't anyone on this board believes any of this. IF you're half as "fit & attractive" as you think you are, unless there's other issues going on (suck as a poor personality and/or sour attitude) you'd have no problem getting dates.

Anonymous wrote:In general, a woman is not offended if you politely ask her out to coffee, or at least it will not offend me. Take a chance and approach a woman you like, old school style.

And then get hit with a #metoo sexual harassment lawsuit? No thanks. Thank modern-day feminists for that. Most men don't need the hassle and aggravation.

I am stopped by someone every week (no joke) who asks me if I teach yoga, or what my workout routine/secret is. Generally it is women who ask these questions here in Washington.

However, when I travel to other cities I have men whistle at me on the street, or make unsolicited compliments about my physical appearance. I smile, thank them, and generally graciously accept these nice gestures with the good will they are (hopefully) intended. In DC a man will not do such a thing. I suppose it is politically sensitive to compliment a woman on her appearance, and I do appreciate the respect and caution exercised by DC men.

As I said in my previous post, I do pick up on the admiring looks that come my way from men. Since some women do not engage in online dating, or frequent bars, I would encourage a man who find a woman attractive to feel free to approach her at the coffee shop, after a religious service or a lecture, at the bookstore, grocery store, or the gym, and say something like, "hey, I noticed you and I both come here often, would you like to join me for coffee or a drink on Saturday." That kind of organic, natural, "old school", personal approach still works.

I think this depends on the person. I am divorced after what was a traumatic ending to our relationship, so I know I have some issues there, but when men approach me organically to ask me out, my immediate defense is to say no. Some guy followed me around the block one day to ask me out, that totally weirded me out so I immediately lied and said I had a BF. I'm pretty, but I'm not follow around the block pretty, so to me that raises my alarms. I don't date at work, so that killed a few possibilities. Some guy would look at me and never say anything, it took him months to come up to me to ask me out, and I did because I liked him too. But if I didn't, I doubt I'd have said yes. Point is, if I meet you at Costco and you ask me out, I'm not thinking meet-cute. I'm thinking you're weird.

You are right, and perhaps then what I am actually suggesting is more like the approach the one man took with you; that is, if you find a woman attractive (other than at work) find and take those opportunities to talk to that woman when you run into her over the course of the days, weeks, or months. And if there appears to be a rapport or receptiveness there, then do not be afraid to ask her out.

[Anonymous]

Since men are not approaching women in person anymore for dates, they use the same poor behavior online or on the first date. They also tend to be less censored about their behavior online.