Dating Divorced Older Men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

Are you a time traveler from the 1950s? Because my experience as a man who survived a long-term marriage was that it was a huge amount of work, mostly care taking. It was like having a child who never grew up.

I've been divorced for 5 years, and in no hurry to pair up with anyone. If I need someone to take care of me I can easily hire someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many 50 yeard old men are not FWB material.

Snort

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many 50 yeard old men are not FWB material.

Nor are the 50+ women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or they want a nurse with a purse.

Who the flying f’ck wants a “nurse with a purse”? Who under 80 even wants a nurse?

[Anonymous]

I'm 52 and I've dated a number of older divorced men and it's not just all about sex or wanting to be taken care of. Most of the guys have been very nice but just like me all divorced people come with some baggage. I've never been out with a man who expected sex on the first date or even the second so maybe I've been lucky. With the guy I'm seeing now I was the initiator which I'm sure surprised him but it was our fourth date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or they want a nurse with a purse.

I'd be thankful just to find a woman whose retirement plan isn't sponging off their latest victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

Are you a time traveler from the 1950s? Because my experience as a man who survived a long-term marriage was that it was a huge amount of work, mostly care taking. It was like having a child who never grew up.

I've been divorced for 5 years, and in no hurry to pair up with anyone. If I need someone to take care of me I can easily hire someone.

Divorced 50s man with primary custody. So much easier emotionally. I couldn’t stop the constant complaining about how much work she did for the kids and home. It was relentless.

I think men can be better at this because some approach it like a job, or course with love, but why complain incessantly about driving kids around and cooking dinner? Big deal. Just do it. It’s what you’re supposed to do, and you don’t get a medal for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men have learned that saying upfront that they just want sex doesn't work for the women they want to just have sex with. They don't want to just have sex with women who just want to have sex, that would be too easy, they want to have sex with women who like them and envision more of a relationship so they can get some benefits outside of just sex.

And the cycle of use and abuse continues. When a man does this, he just makes it much harder for other men. Yiu have earned your PIG label.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 57, divorced and the other divorced guys I know are not interested in just sex though it is a priority. I enjoy female companionship for many reasons but I'm not interested in living with someone or getting married. I really enjoy my freedom but if the right person came into my life my attitude could change. Pay for sex? You've got to be kidding when there are plenty of women out there.

55 divorced man, I concur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many older men who have divorced after long marriages are reluctant to marry again. I get that. Many seem to want sex only relationships after years of bickering, compromising, and general marital turmoil. I get it.

Why do you try to date again after marriage instead of paying for sex (in a place where it is legal), or being upfront about nsa relationships?

Many older women are done with raising kids, are self sufficient and don’t want to be encumbered with any responsibility for another person. Plus they set a very high bar for what they consider to be a long term ‘partner’. Plus for them it’s a ‘buyers’ market. Why would a guy have an expectation of something more than fwb?

You have also precisely described many older divorced men. There is even less reason for him than for an older woman to get remarried, because this exposes him to the risk that she'll divorce him and get a chunk of his retirement/pension. So why would a woman expect anything but FWB from such a man?

As for buyers/sellers market, older men are like any other kind of man -- if you are tall, well-dressed, smart, funny, confident, and have money, then you are in the category of "the 10% of men that 80% of the women are chasing".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many older men who have divorced after long marriages are reluctant to marry again. I get that. Many seem to want sex only relationships after years of bickering, compromising, and general marital turmoil. I get it.

Why do you try to date again after marriage instead of paying for sex (in a place where it is legal), or being upfront about nsa relationships?

If he had sex with you once - or maybe, dated you for weeks or even a few months -- and then moved on, he was not necessarily looking for "sex only". He could well have been looking for a relationship. He just decided not to have it with you. And that's fine, because you have also had sex with guys, decided it "wasn't clicking", and then moved on, right?

[Anonymous]

Many older women are done with raising kids, are self sufficient and don’t want to be encumbered with any responsibility for another person.

This is what aging cat ladies who can’t get a man always tell themselves, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many older men who have divorced after long marriages are reluctant to marry again. I get that. Many seem to want sex only relationships after years of bickering, compromising, and general marital turmoil. I get it.

Why do you try to date again after marriage instead of paying for sex (in a place where it is legal), or being upfront about nsa relationships?

If he had sex with you once - or maybe, dated you for weeks or even a few months -- and then moved on, he was not necessarily looking for "sex only". He could well have been looking for a relationship. He just decided not to have it with you. And that's fine, because you have also had sex with guys, decided it "wasn't clicking", and then moved on, right?

OP, here. i realize its a game. I do. For me, a FWB is a man under 42 who came still perform a couple of times a night and give me morning sex. I realize this. It's why i withhold sex from a guy over 45 until I can see that it is serious. I am very, very fit for my age, so its hard finding a guy who is 50 that isn't one and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

What's this 'taking care of them' thing I see mentioned here? Feminism ruined that concept. My wife is about as caring and nurturing as the pizza delivery guy and I'd say that's true for all of my male friends except for the ones who married old fashioned southern girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many older men who have divorced after long marriages are reluctant to marry again. I get that. Many seem to want sex only relationships after years of bickering, compromising, and general marital turmoil. I get it.

Why do you try to date again after marriage instead of paying for sex (in a place where it is legal), or being upfront about nsa relationships?

If he had sex with you once - or maybe, dated you for weeks or even a few months -- and then moved on, he was not necessarily looking for "sex only". He could well have been looking for a relationship. He just decided not to have it with you. And that's fine, because you have also had sex with guys, decided it "wasn't clicking", and then moved on, right?

OP, here. i realize its a game. I do. For me, a FWB is a man under 42 who came still perform a couple of times a night and give me morning sex. I realize this. It's why i withhold sex from a guy over 45 until I can see that it is serious. I am very, very fit for my age, so its hard finding a guy who is 50 that isn't one and done.