Dating Divorced Older Men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bitterness here really is depressing.

I remember as a 26 year-old man my 40 year-old girlfriend. I was exhausted keeping up with her and I mean that in the best way.

Age is just a number.

Check in on her when she is 50 or 55. When MILFs hit the wall, it is spectacular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't date old men because there are plenty of younger men who are better in bed and a lot less trouble.

Yeah but would the younger men date you? I dont care if "you are told you look young" "your fit" "you are still ___" If your drivers lic says you are 44/45+, why would a man 40 or so or younger date you? If a guy close to 40 has taken care of himself, looks good, has a decent job, half decent clothes and grooming habits he can date hot women in their 20's or 30's. You used "date" and "better in bed" in the same sentence. This is a conflicting statement at best would a man bang a woman near that age? of course.. Date a woman that age? Only if he is between women aka desperate. Sure if you are a smoking hot 38 year old you don't have to belly up to the AARP buffet table yet but that day is near.

Some men will bang anything. Ever see a 350 pound developmentally disabled woman with a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never married, fit, older woman who is fine with her marital status . . . the hardest thing to find is a divorced person to date who is not bitter.

I want much more than being FWB, it would even be nice to share the same space one day (NOT NOW) but I am not looking for you to take care of me financially, or be a father to my child.

I want to enjoy you, for you. I wish men could see this but it is hard breaking through old stereotypes.

And the funniest comments that I hear are about wanting a man's retirement. Really? Do you think I am going to bend over backward to get a half of the half of your retirement that you are getting after your divorce?

Hey, I'm a divorced older man. Just like you,
- I am fine being single
- I have trouble finding a divorced person to date who isn't bitter and obsessed with their ex
- I want more than FWB but I don't want you to cook / clean / be a "caretaker" (whatever the hell that means) or a step-mom to my kids
- I want to enjoy you for you

"Really? Do you think I am going to bend over backward to get a half of the half of your retirement that you are getting after your divorce?"

She did not get half my retirement. That's why I have to be very careful not to wife up someone who - unlike myself or XW - does not have significant retirement assets. I wouldn't take it for granted that anyone does.

And oh by the way, if XW had gotten half, then the "half the remaining half" that would be at risk in a second marriage would still be a shitload of money (on the order of $400k). I would hate to give that up and I would not want to give any woman a legal claim to it.

Your post is so funny . . . I guess it is a matter of perspective. There are so many successful woman to date in the DC area that you would gain half of their retirement if you divorced after marriage. And it would be much more than 400k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And the funniest comments that I hear are about wanting a man's retirement. Really? Do you think I am going to bend over backward to get a half of the half of your retirement that you are getting after your divorce?

As a GS-15, even half my retirement has a net present value of $1.3 million. That includes half the social security benefit, half the FERs payment, and a five percent annual withdrawal of my TSP (the RMDs are likely higher), along with the value of federal healthcare for life. It's enough to bend over backward for unless you are also a fed.

Federal healthcare for like is what seems to really moisten the panties of the 55-60 year old women.

Who are you dating? Maybe you should set your sights a little higher because there are plenty of single GS-15 women feds with similar assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't date old men because there are plenty of younger men who are better in bed and a lot less trouble.

Older men are worth banging for young women if they're into/good at some kinky stuff you find fun or sometimes it's fun just to be with someone who's so excited about you, physically. A lot of young men are a snooze and/or don't appreciate you. I enjoyed sleeping around with older men in my 20s (not crazy old but definitely a few over 40), it was fun, and I'm glad I did it bc I'm married now but god forbid if I end up single over 50 and no men will date me I can at least remember when. Or go full cougar maybe; I look good in leopard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never married, fit, older woman who is fine with her marital status . . . the hardest thing to find is a divorced person to date who is not bitter.

I want much more than being FWB, it would even be nice to share the same space one day (NOT NOW) but I am not looking for you to take care of me financially, or be a father to my child.

I want to enjoy you, for you. I wish men could see this but it is hard breaking through old stereotypes.

And the funniest comments that I hear are about wanting a man's retirement. Really? Do you think I am going to bend over backward to get a half of the half of your retirement that you are getting after your divorce?

Hey, I'm a divorced older man. Just like you,
- I am fine being single
- I have trouble finding a divorced person to date who isn't bitter and obsessed with their ex
- I want more than FWB but I don't want you to cook / clean / be a "caretaker" (whatever the hell that means) or a step-mom to my kids
- I want to enjoy you for you

"Really? Do you think I am going to bend over backward to get a half of the half of your retirement that you are getting after your divorce?"

She did not get half my retirement. That's why I have to be very careful not to wife up someone who - unlike myself or XW - does not have significant retirement assets. I wouldn't take it for granted that anyone does.

And oh by the way, if XW had gotten half, then the "half the remaining half" that would be at risk in a second marriage would still be a shitload of money (on the order of $400k). I would hate to give that up and I would not want to give any woman a legal claim to it.

I was reading like

and then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because most of the older divorced guys I know are looking to remarry immediately so they have someone to tale care of them.

What's this 'taking care of them' thing I see mentioned here? Feminism ruined that concept. My wife is about as caring and nurturing as the pizza delivery guy and I'd say that's true for all of my male friends except for the ones who married old fashioned southern girls.

Birds of a feather flock together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many 50 yeard old men are not FWB material.

Many 50+ women are fat, sagging, wrinkled, not worth FWB.

This is me! Yet, men are coming out of the woodwork to climb into my hole. I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many 50 yeard old men are not FWB material.

Many 50+ women are fat, sagging, wrinkled, not worth FWB.

This is me! Yet, men are coming out of the woodwork to climb into my hole. I don't get it.

Sexy isn’t just about having a hot bod.

[Anonymous]

I'm also 50, overweight, and more men fall in love with me than is appropriate. I certainly wouldn't expect it given cultural expectations about men, women's weight, and so on. I don't think the statements in this thread about the "commodity trading" ethos on dating apps really get at what goes on with many middle-aged people who are grappling with their life, their purpose, their legacy. This thread misses all of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many 50 yeard old men are not FWB material.

Many 50+ women are fat, sagging, wrinkled, not worth FWB.

This is me! Yet, men are coming out of the woodwork to climb into my hole. I don't get it.

It’s news to you that men will say yes to easy pussy if it is available?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also 50, overweight, and more men fall in love with me than is appropriate. I certainly wouldn't expect it given cultural expectations about men, women's weight, and so on. I don't think the statements in this thread about the "commodity trading" ethos on dating apps really get at what goes on with many middle-aged people who are grappling with their life, their purpose, their legacy. This thread misses all of that.

Very thoughtful comment and I agree. A commodified view of just sex seems rather shallow to me now, although I wouldn’t kick a cutie out of bed.

Out of curiousity, what is the “appropriate” number of men to fall in love with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your post is so funny . . . I guess it is a matter of perspective. There are so many successful woman to date in the DC area that you would gain half of their retirement if you divorced after marriage. And it would be much more than 400k.

Way to miss the point, genius. The number of such "successful women" in DC is way smaller than the number of potential gold-diggers. And $400k might mean nothing to you, but I'll be damned if I'll sign a piece of paper that puts it at risk when there is absolutely no positive reason to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your post is so funny . . . I guess it is a matter of perspective. There are so many successful woman to date in the DC area that you would gain half of their retirement if you divorced after marriage. And it would be much more than 400k.

Way to miss the point, genius. The number of such "successful women" in DC is way smaller than the number of potential gold-diggers. And $400k might mean nothing to you, but I'll be damned if I'll sign a piece of paper that puts it at risk when there is absolutely no positive reason to do so.

You missed the point yourself. She gets 400k from you and you get 1.5 mil from her, who is losing? You can't even imagine it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your post is so funny . . . I guess it is a matter of perspective. There are so many successful woman to date in the DC area that you would gain half of their retirement if you divorced after marriage. And it would be much more than 400k.

Way to miss the point, genius. The number of such "successful women" in DC is way smaller than the number of potential gold-diggers. And $400k might mean nothing to you, but I'll be damned if I'll sign a piece of paper that puts it at risk when there is absolutely no positive reason to do so.

You missed the point yourself. She gets 400k from you and you get 1.5 mil from her, who is losing? You can't even imagine it.

No, I get that, but it's not even relevant to me. So far I haven't dated anyone who has that kind of money, and I don't think they're anywhere near as common as the other PP (or you?) suggest. Furthermore, someone who does have that kind of money isn't going to want to marry me anyway, she'll be looking for a bigger socioeconomic fish.