SAHM shaming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love this quote:

“I’ve never had a job because I don’t want one. Jobs reduce people to absolute stupidity, they forget to think about themselves. There’s something so positive about unemployment. It’s like, Now We Can Think About Ourselves. You won’t get trapped into materialism, you won’t buy things you don’t really want…”

https://strikemag.org/bullshit-jobs/

Wow, what a bunch of white privledge running rampant. It's all well and good to take this view if you've got someone (or some trust fund) paying for a roof over your head and food on your table.

My job involves talking with researchers and translating their findings/publications into press releases and materials that the public, members of the media, and elected officials can understand. On any given day, I'm learning and writing about topics related to geographical sciences, sociology, pyschology, economics, etc. I honestly do "learn something new every day." I'd hardly call that "reducing me to absolute stupidity."

And trust and believe: People will never forget to think about themselves, LOL. The majority of problems we have in this world is because people are hyper-focused on themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

NP, and a WOHM, and I'm going to challenge your premise here. Do you get that the more intelligent, educated and informed a parent is, the more they are going to pass those qualities on to their children and promote their children's education? Education enriches your life and your mind and yes, your soul, beyond career viability. You do get that, right?

I can't believe you don't value an educated/intelligent parent. Wouldn't you hire a nanny with more education who seemed more intelligent and well-read? Well, if you value those traits for hired child care help, why wouldn't you value it for the stay-at-home parent.

Your premise is sexist and bullshyt, and I'm callling you out. I work with a woman who a global expert on girls' education and empowerment; she used to work for the United Nations, running programs on girls' education. And she says the #1 influencer of whether or not a girl will be educated and will develop a strong mind is the influence, example and encouragement of her mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to own your choices and live with the consequences. My kids are both in college now. I chose to quit my career and raise them at home because I could not deal with the whole nanny thing. Do I think it made a difference in the outcome for my children. Can’t really say. But at the end of the day we only get one shot at a life well lived and for me, I am glad I spent that time with my children. I wasn’t destined to cure cancer, but I could possibly make a difference in the lives of my family.

When children have a stable, competent and loving primary caregiver, they are most fortunate. You have done the hardest and most important job there is. Believe me.

Kudos to you for making the biggest sacrifice. Kudos to your spouse for supporting your vitally important work.

I hope you’re being sarcastic, PP.

Because we all know working parents can’t be stable, competent or loving

And quitting a job with a partner financially supporting isn’t quite the “biggest sacrifice”. I’d chalk that up to something like choosing to forgo chemotherapy for the sake of your unborn child.

Not to mention that while your children are in school you’re spending basically two hours a day more with them than a working parent. And that is if they don’t spend any time doing after school activities or sports. Which most kids do.

My office is close to home and I have a lot of flexiblity--which means that I'm actually home before the FCPS school bus gets to our neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

If being a SAHM is so amazing and wonderful, why does it seem like SAHM's are in need of constant validation and praise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you think you're very important, but you're just not important to that many other people. Why would anyone care what you're doing or not doing?

Who exactly is making comments to you, and what are the comments?

Check out 21:32 just above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, Good for you.


To each their own.
I didn't do it, but happy for you that it is working out.

When I get pressure to be a different version of myself, I look to a culture that is less of a pressure-cooker in that regard, and pretend I am a part of. that.

For example, in my head, I live in a country where a higher BMI is desirable/endeaing after a "certain age".

This is a smart tactic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

NP, and a WOHM, and I'm going to challenge your premise here. Do you get that the more intelligent, educated and informed a parent is, the more they are going to pass those qualities on to their children and promote their children's education? Education enriches your life and your mind and yes, your soul, beyond career viability. You do get that, right?

I can't believe you don't value an educated/intelligent parent. Wouldn't you hire a nanny with more education who seemed more intelligent and well-read? Well, if you value those traits for hired child care help, why wouldn't you value it for the stay-at-home parent.

Your premise is sexist and bullshyt, and I'm callling you out. I work with a woman who a global expert on girls' education and empowerment; she used to work for the United Nations, running programs on girls' education. And she says the #1 influencer of whether or not a girl will be educated and will develop a strong mind is the influence, example and encouragement of her mother.

This type of person is the shaker. You need to avoid these folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you think you're very important, but you're just not important to that many other people. Why would anyone care what you're doing or not doing?

Who exactly is making comments to you, and what are the comments?

Check out 21:32 just above.

Nope, sorry. We're talking about real, actual life. Who in OP's real, actual life is making comments, and what are those real, actual comments?

No one on here walked into OP's living room and started bashing her for being a SAHM. She came in here and started a conversation, and yeah--what with it being the Internet and DCUM and all, people said rude things. Note that they say rude things to and about both SAHMs *and* WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

I don’t feel criticised for simply being a SAHM, but I do feel SAHMs who do try to freelance aren’t taken seriously, like we are just bored and need something rather than marketing our skills and being entrepreneurial.

I’m probably projecting my own insecurity as I am trying to rediscover my niche. I cringe in being labeled a “mompreneur” or whatever. Thankfully I have a supportive spouse and diverse set of female friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

NP, and a WOHM, and I'm going to challenge your premise here. Do you get that the more intelligent, educated and informed a parent is, the more they are going to pass those qualities on to their children and promote their children's education? Education enriches your life and your mind and yes, your soul, beyond career viability. You do get that, right?

I can't believe you don't value an educated/intelligent parent. Wouldn't you hire a nanny with more education who seemed more intelligent and well-read? Well, if you value those traits for hired child care help, why wouldn't you value it for the stay-at-home parent.

Your premise is sexist and bullshyt, and I'm callling you out. I work with a woman who a global expert on girls' education and empowerment; she used to work for the United Nations, running programs on girls' education. And she says the #1 influencer of whether or not a girl will be educated and will develop a strong mind is the influence, example and encouragement of her mother.

I don’t disagree with you, nor am I asking you.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM of older kids. They're all in school full time. When I tell people they usually say some version of "good for you!" or "lucky you" or "I wish I could have done that."

I've never once gotten a negative comment. I'm not saying people might not be thinking it but they've never said it to my face or behind my back that I know of.

[Anonymous]

Know that a person who makes rude comments about others is speaking from within. Mean behavior and judgment is always ultimately in internal struggle erupting like a gross pimple on the soul.

It actually has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM of older kids. They're all in school full time. When I tell people they usually say some version of "good for you!" or "lucky you" or "I wish I could have done that."

I've never once gotten a negative comment. I'm not saying people might not be thinking it but they've never said it to my face or behind my back that I know of.

I'm going to guess it's because you fit the stereotype. Skinny, blonde, and rich. You probably drive a huge SUV too and have multiple children in a Big 3 school. No one says jack to those ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rarely uncomfortable with people criticizing my SAHM status. In fact, I embrace it! If they ask what I do all day, I say I run errands, laundry, clean up a little bit, go to the gym, play a whole lot of tennis, cuddle with my dogs. Sometimes I’m nap, sometimes I read, go to lunch or coffee with my girlfriends (a mix of SAH and working moms), go on field trips and volunteer at school.

I don’t pretend that it’s the hardest job in the world and I’m not looking for praise from others. It is what it is and it works for my family. Other families are different and I respect that.

Totally serious question and I respect your answer. Are you OK with this as your life? Did you go to college? Do you have daughters and expect them to excel academically? What are your life goals?

Not everyone lives to work.

I can tell you're a workaholic whose identity is wrapped up in what they do for money. That's fine but, if you were truly as smart and perceptive as you think you are, you'd realize not everyone wants to live that way.

And don't bother responding back to deny your workaholism. I can tell because you seem unable to acknowledge why many people don't want to waste their one precious life in an office pushing paper.

It's fine if you feel purpose in what you do. But you can't even acknowledge that other people feel differently. That's a problem.

Read these first before responding.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/01/opinion/burnout-hustle-culture-gentrification-work.html

https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2019/jan/28/work-life-balance-thankgoditsmonday

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

https://www.theatlantic.com/letters/archive/2019/03/readers-respond-workism-is-making-americans-miserable/584377/

You could not be more wrong. Still waiting for an answer to the questions rather than a bunch of defensive bs.
*Insert article about kids of working moms blah blah