Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

I broadly agree with you (though not with the same passion), though I have a third floor rec room and I think it’s totally appropriate for parents to be up there checking on their kids. I appreciate that, actually, vs the parents who just let their kids trash my house while ignoring them...

My problem is with parents who let their kids trash my house period. Please don’t let your toddler roam unattended when you know they are a holy terror...keep them within eyesight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once lived in a beautiful home and guests would ask for a tour. It made me uncomfortable.

In some cultures it’s rude not to offer. My Danish friends love a house tour.

[Anonymous]

I put baby gates at the stairs so that nobody goes upstairs. Guest bedroom is downstairs so they have no reason to be upstairs, either. I don't care if family goes up, but guests are absolutely not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they maybe wanting company or looking for some kind of supplies like tampons, towels or the laundry room?

I’ll bet big bucks it’s one of OP’s inlaws whom she doesn’t like in general. To OP, the guest is being “nosy.”

OP here. I've had both members of my family and my husband's familly do this. I've also had near-strangers do this, who were invited for a holiday party. I don't get how people don't get that this is not how you act in someone's home.

I am very much a “mi class, su casa” type and appreciate when guests make themselves at home so I am not having to think through all the things to make them comfortable. But, I do understand that my style is different so I try not to overstep when a guest at someone else’s. But I am sure you can see how these are two conflicting styles can cause issues if you are the type of person who likes to maintain a lot of control. In which case, you should just not open your home to guests, in my opinion.

Clearly different people feel different ways about their homes. Which is why, as a guest, you should always ask or wait to be invited. When in a private home, you err on the side of privacy. Any etiquette expert or advice columnist would agree. -np

[Anonymous]

Just...close the bedroom doors? I get that individual bedrooms are private space, but not every house is laid out the same, it's not a strict and universal upstairs/downstairs divide. If you have bedrooms downstairs or live in a ranch or apartment, you close the doors except for ones guests or small children need access to, and it's understood people shouldn't go into them. But a staircase is not a door. What is at the top of it that is private but not a room with a door that can be closed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I broadly agree with you (though not with the same passion), though I have a third floor rec room and I think it’s totally appropriate for parents to be up there checking on their kids. I appreciate that, actually, vs the parents who just let their kids trash my house while ignoring them...

My problem is with parents who let their kids trash my house period. Please don’t let your toddler roam unattended when you know they are a holy terror...keep them within eyesight.

I’m the pp. I also don’t think it’s weird for parents to check on their kids when they are playing in one of the kids bedrooms. I guess I just think it’s strange to wander around someone’s master uninvited, etc. I think context is everything...at an adult party it would be strange to be poking around some one’s bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Our guest room is on our first floor and has a full bath. Our guests do not go upstairs without asking. I wouldn’t like that either but they always ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they maybe wanting company or looking for some kind of supplies like tampons, towels or the laundry room?

I’ll bet big bucks it’s one of OP’s inlaws whom she doesn’t like in general. To OP, the guest is being “nosy.”

OP here. I've had both members of my family and my husband's familly do this. I've also had near-strangers do this, who were invited for a holiday party. I don't get how people don't get that this is not how you act in someone's home.

Is this a townhouse? With vertical living space the rules change a bit. I would think nothing of going upstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they maybe wanting company or looking for some kind of supplies like tampons, towels or the laundry room?

I’ll bet big bucks it’s one of OP’s inlaws whom she doesn’t like in general. To OP, the guest is being “nosy.”

OP here. I've had both members of my family and my husband's familly do this. I've also had near-strangers do this, who were invited for a holiday party. I don't get how people don't get that this is not how you act in someone's home.

You should just stop hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go back to sleep, Barb

*Snort*

Do you post these often? They always make me chuckle, and I always wonder if it’s the same poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They are more than welcome into my private space if they a-s-k. Manners.

You are such an easy person to talk to, as your guest I'd be chomping at the bit to ask you for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They are more than welcome into my private space if they a-s-k. Manners.

You are such an easy person to talk to, as your guest I'd be chomping at the bit to ask you for anything.

Np. You clearly are one of those that don’t understand private space or boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree about party guests. But I would never tell my parents or my husband’s parents they are not welcome upstairs in my home.

Unless they are invited, or ask for something and told it is OK, what do they need up there?

They have living space, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom available to them. What do they need?

Bathrooms are frequently in use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People over for a party shouldn’t go upstairs without an invitation, but I think when you’re a houseguest staying overnight it isn’t crazy to venture upstairs...most of the time you’re an intimate friend or relative and the guest room is upstairs. Are they coming up to see the kids’ rooms?

+10000
I get random party guests.
But I think it is very weird that you tripping over your mom or DH's mom going upstairs in your house.
What are you hiding, an upstairs meth lab?
WTF!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once lived in a beautiful home and guests would ask for a tour. It made me uncomfortable.

In some cultures it’s rude not to offer. My Danish friends love a house tour.

The owner of the home dictates what is rude and what is not. ie: "touring".