Advice from women - sexual jealousy is good, in doses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

Another DH here, my wife always says how lucky she is to be with me, and how attractive I am, and yes I believe her. And no, we rarely have hot sex. It's once a week, she likes it once it starts but never makes an effort to make it happen.

Yet, like other posters have said, she steps up her game when I am going out of town, or when she thinks another woman is lurking. I would be a fool not to try and exploit something that naturally gets her juices flowing. Sure, I wish I was married to a woman with a natural drive who jumps her husband just because. I won the wife lottery in a lot of ways, but she is not sexually motivated.

I don't fault her, this is exactly my experience with women. Like they say, the easiest way to meet an attractive woman is to show up with another attractive woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

So normal. All the women I know who AREN'T having sex with their husbands (on their terms, not his) gush about how awesome their husbands are. Barfity barf barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

So normal. All the women I know who AREN'T having sex with their husbands (on their terms, not his) gush about how awesome their husbands are. Barfity barf barf.

Barf +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

So normal. All the women I know who AREN'T having sex with their husbands (on their terms, not his) gush about how awesome their husbands are. Barfity barf barf.

Barf +1

Yep women just are not sexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

So normal. All the women I know who AREN'T having sex with their husbands (on their terms, not his) gush about how awesome their husbands are. Barfity barf barf.

Barf +1

Yep women just are not sexual with their husbands.

FIFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

So normal. All the women I know who AREN'T having sex with their husbands (on their terms, not his) gush about how awesome their husbands are. Barfity barf barf.

Barf +1

Yep women just are not sexual with their husbands.

FIFY

Women just aren't that sexual with anyone in a long term relationship. Half of lesbians in long term relationships have sex less than once a month.

https://books.google.com/books?id=ZdYh_iFZvbkC&pg=PA429#v=onepage&q&f=false

So unless your argument is that women suck in bed and who would want to sleep with them, you can quit the battle of the sexes and just realize that for many females, sexual desire just falls off a cliff for their long term partner. It just is how many women are wired, it's neither good or evil, just is.

I say this as one of those evil men who had a couple of affairs in my younger days with married women. They had a sexual awakening when with me, but I had neither magical powers or a magical penis, I was just new and shiny. So I don't take it personally when my wife's desire dropped after a while, it's not personal, it's biology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. It matters. When I got married women used to be all over my husband - he was so fit and attractive, and I loved how he only had eyes for me. After marriage he quickly decided getting fat was ok, and now he gets no female attention. I used to feel proud and now I feel embarrassed. We still have sex but my genuine desire is way down. Not my fault. Biology.

If it makes you feel any better, like most women, you'd still eventually lose interest in him even if he was fit, attractive and great in bed. Also basic biology.

I don't know. I feel like I am always reading people on this board saying in the comments how wonderful their husbands are and how attracted they are to them.

My wife tells everyone how wonderful I am. Still isn't jumping my bones. It's once a week duty sex. Period. End of story.

So normal. All the women I know who AREN'T having sex with their husbands (on their terms, not his) gush about how awesome their husbands are. Barfity barf barf.

Barf +1

Yep women just are not sexual with their husbands.

FIFY

Women just aren't that sexual with anyone in a long term relationship. Half of lesbians in long term relationships have sex less than once a month.

https://books.google.com/books?id=ZdYh_iFZvbkC&pg=PA429#v=onepage&q&f=false

So unless your argument is that women suck in bed and who would want to sleep with them, you can quit the battle of the sexes and just realize that for many females, sexual desire just falls off a cliff for their long term partner. It just is how many women are wired, it's neither good or evil, just is.

I say this as one of those evil men who had a couple of affairs in my younger days with married women. They had a sexual awakening when with me, but I had neither magical powers or a magical penis, I was just new and shiny. So I don't take it personally when my wife's desire dropped after a while, it's not personal, it's biology.

Dude, you just said what all the quoted posts said, just in many, many more words. The thing is, instead of confronting this fact, most women will make every excuse in the book why they don't want to have sex with their husbands to include blaming the husband.

[Anonymous]

A woman at a bar started flirting with my husband. I wasn’t thrilled and he looked uncomfortable. She took it as far as to touch his chest in front of me before walking to the bathroom. My DH calmly said don’t punch her before getting our check

We had already gotten it on that day and on a regular basis as a rule. I wouldn’t want to deal with situations with a flirting theme on a regular basis; it’s lame and gross and if my husband encouraged it I’d be mad.

[Anonymous]

I'd like it if my DH was in shape enough to be hit on at a bar. He's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like it if my DH was in shape enough to be hit on at a bar. He's not.

You'd definitely like it if he was in better shape. But, if you've been with him for any length of time, there's a pretty good chance you still wouldn't want to have sex with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like it if my DH was in shape enough to be hit on at a bar. He's not.

You'd definitely like it if he was in better shape. But, if you've been with him for any length of time, there's a pretty good chance you still wouldn't want to have sex with him.

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but this is really not true of all women. The women in my family have always been horndogs all through the lifespan in their marriages. Maybe it's a hormonal profile thing? I don't know. But I do not think it is universally true that all women stop wanting sex with their husbands after a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like it if my DH was in shape enough to be hit on at a bar. He's not.

You'd definitely like it if he was in better shape. But, if you've been with him for any length of time, there's a pretty good chance you still wouldn't want to have sex with him.

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but this is really not true of all women. The women in my family have always been horndogs all through the lifespan in their marriages. Maybe it's a hormonal profile thing? I don't know. But I do not think it is universally true that all women stop wanting sex with their husbands after a couple of years.

+1000. I still have near daily sex with my significantly overweight husband, but I resent that I keep myself up and he doesn't. Fitness is not just about yourself. It's about what you think your spouse deserves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like it if my DH was in shape enough to be hit on at a bar. He's not.

You'd definitely like it if he was in better shape. But, if you've been with him for any length of time, there's a pretty good chance you still wouldn't want to have sex with him.

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but this is really not true of all women. The women in my family have always been horndogs all through the lifespan in their marriages. Maybe it's a hormonal profile thing? I don't know. But I do not think it is universally true that all women stop wanting sex with their husbands after a couple of years.

+1000. I still have near daily sex with my significantly overweight husband, but I resent that I keep myself up and he doesn't. Fitness is not just about yourself. It's about what you think your spouse deserves.

Thank you, this. I have sex 2-3x/week with my overweight husband. I'd have it more, but I'm not particularly attracted to him when he lets himself go. I keep myself up (or technically, weight down) and he doesn't. I exercise. I watch what I eat. He doesn't. We took a hike earlier this summer when we were on vacation, and I found myself wondering if I was going to have to call 911 off the mountain. But sex, I love.

To be frank, though, I don't keep myself up for my husband. I do it for me.

[Anonymous]

This is totally normal. It's called the power of the third. Read Mating in Captivity. Human sexual desire is complex and what works for one couple doesn't work for another. Every stop judging everyone else and do whatever makes your relationship with your partner mutually satisifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like it if my DH was in shape enough to be hit on at a bar. He's not.

You'd definitely like it if he was in better shape. But, if you've been with him for any length of time, there's a pretty good chance you still wouldn't want to have sex with him.

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but this is really not true of all women. The women in my family have always been horndogs all through the lifespan in their marriages. Maybe it's a hormonal profile thing? I don't know. But I do not think it is universally true that all women stop wanting sex with their husbands after a couple of years.

+1000. I still have near daily sex with my significantly overweight husband, but I resent that I keep myself up and he doesn't. Fitness is not just about yourself. It's about what you think your spouse deserves.

Thank you, this. I have sex 2-3x/week with my overweight husband. I'd have it more, but I'm not particularly attracted to him when he lets himself go. I keep myself up (or technically, weight down) and he doesn't. I exercise. I watch what I eat. He doesn't. We took a hike earlier this summer when we were on vacation, and I found myself wondering if I was going to have to call 911 off the mountain. But sex, I love.

To be frank, though, I don't keep myself up for my husband. I do it for me.

A DH here. I do this, too. Unlike your husband, I have always kept myself in shape. But I learned a long time ago that for my DW, it doesn't matter if I have a six pack, full head of hair, look ten years younger than my age and get looks from women everywhere I go. She has very little interest in me sexually and I could just let myself go and we'd probably have the same amount and quality of sex as we do now. I make the effort to look and feel good for my own sanity.