Advice from women - sexual jealousy is good, in doses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sorry, bad example. That's just the genetic lottery. Some guys are hung like a horse. I have all my hair. Shrug. Point I was making is that I'm not fat, balding and bad in bed and it apparently makes no difference in how sexually attracted to me my wife is.

Do you wonder if it’s your behavior or personality?

OP here and in the same situation as PP. I can absolutely guarantee you us men - who keep themselves up, make money, good fathers, reasonably good shape and who would be in utmost demand if single - are the silent majority on DCUM. That there is a major desire disparity between the genders isn't disputed, despite some amazing unicorns on here professing their desire for sex with overweight husbands.

My wife, for example, wanted little to no sex for years and years in my 30s. I was in best shape of my life, kids were little, I was hitting every professional and father metric, date nights, didn't matter. Talked about it, didn't matter.

Fast forward, my wife took up running, she got herself in better shape, kids are less demanding. Me? I am objectively older and in worse shape, but now she wants sex at least some times.

Point - her desire has zero to do with me, it's how she feels about her. Extra point - it seems like if she feels threatened by another woman flirting with me, she revs up her game. I didn't look any different when we went out than when the flirting started. But for the younger woman paying me attention that night, our end of the night would have been platonic.

I chalk it up to basic female biology. Trying to rationalize it seems pointless. Figuring out how to exploit it without ruining my marriage is the point of this thread.

Guy here - I definitely agree that one component of a woman’s drive is how she feels about herself.

This is actually something that certain morally challenged guys who "date" married women exploit very effectively.

LOL so the guy is morally challenged because he dates a married woman? What ...did the guy take a vow? Oh I see women are fragile little flowers that are easily manipulated by some smooth talking guy. Just admit to yourself that you are a sexist and always blame the man. If a married women has an affair she is morally challenged. She is not being exploit or preyed on. Women take no responsibility for their actions. It always someone else’s fault. You women studies folks and your double standards are too much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sorry, bad example. That's just the genetic lottery. Some guys are hung like a horse. I have all my hair. Shrug. Point I was making is that I'm not fat, balding and bad in bed and it apparently makes no difference in how sexually attracted to me my wife is.

Do you wonder if it’s your behavior or personality?

OP here and in the same situation as PP. I can absolutely guarantee you us men - who keep themselves up, make money, good fathers, reasonably good shape and who would be in utmost demand if single - are the silent majority on DCUM. That there is a major desire disparity between the genders isn't disputed, despite some amazing unicorns on here professing their desire for sex with overweight husbands.

My wife, for example, wanted little to no sex for years and years in my 30s. I was in best shape of my life, kids were little, I was hitting every professional and father metric, date nights, didn't matter. Talked about it, didn't matter.

Fast forward, my wife took up running, she got herself in better shape, kids are less demanding. Me? I am objectively older and in worse shape, but now she wants sex at least some times.

Point - her desire has zero to do with me, it's how she feels about her. Extra point - it seems like if she feels threatened by another woman flirting with me, she revs up her game. I didn't look any different when we went out than when the flirting started. But for the younger woman paying me attention that night, our end of the night would have been platonic.

I chalk it up to basic female biology. Trying to rationalize it seems pointless. Figuring out how to exploit it without ruining my marriage is the point of this thread.

Guy here - I definitely agree that one component of a woman’s drive is how she feels about herself.

This is actually something that certain morally challenged guys who "date" married women exploit very effectively.

It’s always those evil guys! How do they exploit that?

I suspect that they actually pay attention to her, give compliments, and plan activities she enjoys. Unlike the DH. Which goes back to the behavior of these DH? If you are so hot, why is she not into you, but ripe and willing for someone else?

This. It’s nice when men act like they care, are nice, and don’t act entitled. That’s sexy. What’s not sexy is a husband who puts in zero effort and whines when he doesn’t get laid whenever he wants. If a random guy acted like that, he wouldn’t be getting laid, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sorry, bad example. That's just the genetic lottery. Some guys are hung like a horse. I have all my hair. Shrug. Point I was making is that I'm not fat, balding and bad in bed and it apparently makes no difference in how sexually attracted to me my wife is.

Do you wonder if it’s your behavior or personality?

OP here and in the same situation as PP. I can absolutely guarantee you us men - who keep themselves up, make money, good fathers, reasonably good shape and who would be in utmost demand if single - are the silent majority on DCUM. That there is a major desire disparity between the genders isn't disputed, despite some amazing unicorns on here professing their desire for sex with overweight husbands.

My wife, for example, wanted little to no sex for years and years in my 30s. I was in best shape of my life, kids were little, I was hitting every professional and father metric, date nights, didn't matter. Talked about it, didn't matter.

Fast forward, my wife took up running, she got herself in better shape, kids are less demanding. Me? I am objectively older and in worse shape, but now she wants sex at least some times.

Point - her desire has zero to do with me, it's how she feels about her. Extra point - it seems like if she feels threatened by another woman flirting with me, she revs up her game. I didn't look any different when we went out than when the flirting started. But for the younger woman paying me attention that night, our end of the night would have been platonic.

I chalk it up to basic female biology. Trying to rationalize it seems pointless. Figuring out how to exploit it without ruining my marriage is the point of this thread.

Guy here - I definitely agree that one component of a woman’s drive is how she feels about herself.

This is actually something that certain morally challenged guys who "date" married women exploit very effectively.

It’s always those evil guys! How do they exploit that?

I suspect that they actually pay attention to her, give compliments, and plan activities she enjoys. Unlike the DH. Which goes back to the behavior of these DH? If you are so hot, why is she not into you, but ripe and willing for someone else?

Here is another perspective: if the DH were truly undesirable, why is are so many other random married woman "ripe and willing" for this man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Guy here - I definitely agree that one component of a woman’s drive is how she feels about herself.

This is actually something that certain morally challenged guys who "date" married women exploit very effectively.

Those guys have an advantage over husbands. A DH can do all kinds of things to try to tell and show his DW that he thinks she's sexy, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't count. He "has" to say she's sexy. If he shows her, it's just because he's horny and can't go anywhere else for sex. If some rando hits on her though, it's flattering.

100% correct

What you guys seeming don’t understand is this also works to YOUR benefit. Just be that random guy hitting on a married woman. There is a reason that married men are well known for philandering behind their wives back: it’s often easiest way to get laid.

No, we do understand. Some of us have taken advantage of that fact, others of us don't want to cheat on our wives. The vast majority of us would prefer it if our wives responded to us the same way they would respond to that rando hitting on them so we didn't have to face the choice between guilt and resentment. Despite the posts from a few guys who want to bang everything that moves (like PP I assume), most of us really do just want our wives.

Most men want their wives. That is always Plan A. But when their wives lose interest, and it becomes easier to find random other married women, most men quickly resort to Plan B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Guy here - I definitely agree that one component of a woman’s drive is how she feels about herself.

This is actually something that certain morally challenged guys who "date" married women exploit very effectively.

Those guys have an advantage over husbands. A DH can do all kinds of things to try to tell and show his DW that he thinks she's sexy, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't count. He "has" to say she's sexy. If he shows her, it's just because he's horny and can't go anywhere else for sex. If some rando hits on her though, it's flattering.

100% correct

What you guys seeming don’t understand is this also works to YOUR benefit. Just be that random guy hitting on a married woman. There is a reason that married men are well known for philandering behind their wives back: it’s often easiest way to get laid.

No, we do understand. Some of us have taken advantage of that fact, others of us don't want to cheat on our wives. The vast majority of us would prefer it if our wives responded to us the same way they would respond to that rando hitting on them so we didn't have to face the choice between guilt and resentment. Despite the posts from a few guys who want to bang everything that moves (like PP I assume), most of us really do just want our wives.

Most men want their wives. That is always Plan A. But when their wives lose interest, and it becomes easier to find random other married women, most men quickly resort to Plan B.

I don't know about most men, but many, probably somewhere around half if we're to believe the statistics. I'm also not so sure about "quickly". Most probably agonize about it before taking the plunge. On the other hand, probably about the same percentage of women cheat on their husbands, albeit usually for different reasons. So, it pretty much evens out.