Married in your 20s? How's that worked out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married at 28 and it's been 7 years, and all is well so far. We got together at 19, though, so we've been together now for 16 years total. One toddler and one on the way. We fight sometimes and don't pull our punches (metaphorically) when we do, but generally our goals, beliefs, and worldviews are aligned and we are pretty happy.

I know I'm veering off topic here, but I think marriages that start at age 28 are different than some of the others mentioned here (ages 20-23). When you marry at 28, you can barely eek in a baby before 30, at which point many people are already pretty established. Many of the stresses on a young marriage are related to finances and having kids very young.

We got engaged at 19, married at 22, kids at 23 and 26. We are 11 years married. Now that the cash is rolling in, and we are 32 with two elementary schoolers, life is pretty sweet!

I agree, 28 is pretty mature compared to 22 (I married at 28 myself).

[Anonymous]

Married at 24 and am 13 years in. No one’s life is perfect but we are both happy.

[Anonymous]

Met at 18 and married at 22. This year makes ten year of marriage and EVERY year has gotten better. Three kids- 7, 3, and newborn.

[Anonymous]

met at 18 and 21, married at 21 and 24. now 38 and 41. we're good! I think we spent a lot of time apart when we were in our early twenties and probably too much time focusing on our careers. which made it really hard when we had been married for 5-6 years but still had to figure out how to live together. there was a while there in our late twenties and early thirties where I thought we weren't going to make it. we (wisely) waited to have kid until our 30s.

right now, however, things are great. good careers, great kids, good sex life. we both travel a lot for work, which is painfully hard with little kids, but working out a way to change that together. a functioning team. the best thing about getting married young (and there are plenty of negative things) is that you grow up together and around each other's sharp points and rough edges.

[Anonymous]

My divorce was final on my 10th anniversary. Best present ever. That was 17 years ago and I've never looked back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really need to be asking this question of 45 and 50 year olds--when the midlife crisis collides with the empty nest and a long marriage this is when you start to see things crack.

So under this theory, people who married in 30s still have kids at home at 45-50 so they don’t have midlife crisis? Or is it that they had more freedom in 20s so don’t feel tied down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married in your 20s and have been married--to the same person--for at least ten years, how's it going? What's good, not so good? Would you do it again, knowing what you know now?

Married at 23; DH was 29. We recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Going very well! We have 4 kids, with the youngest in college, so we're empty nesters. We work hard (own and run a successful business together) and play hard (diving trips and spa retreats). He's smart, loving, kind, funny, generous, and basically awesome.

All that is good. Not so good is my cancer diagnosis a couple of years ago, so our long-term retirement plans are threatened. I hope to live long enough to enjoy grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Wonderful. If I tried, I couldn't have had a better marriage than I do now. Almost 25 years, yes there were bumps, when we were younger, but DH is truly the love of my life and the best person I ever met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really need to be asking this question of 45 and 50 year olds--when the midlife crisis collides with the empty nest and a long marriage this is when you start to see things crack.

So under this theory, people who married in 30s still have kids at home at 45-50 so they don’t have midlife crisis? Or is it that they had more freedom in 20s so don’t feel tied down?

Midlife crisis is for the wealthy and stupid. I have one in college, one at home, approaching 50. Freedom is what you make of it, plus nobody is imprisoned bcs they are married, young or not young. Ben Affleck can have a midlife crisis, regular Jo or Jane, not so much. Unless they are stupid, then it is not midlife crisis, it is just plain trouble all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We met at 25, married at 28, and had kids at 35. We're now 46. Life has its ups and downs but overall, it has been pretty good. I love that we had so many years together pre-kids. I think that gave us a strong foundation for life post kids. I wouldn't change a thing.

You did not marry young. Plus you had kids at 35? Again, not a definition of marrying young or having kids young, even here.

[Anonymous]

Married at 27. 43 now. I started dating DH when I was 23. I never would have picked him for a partner had I been more mature. Our marriage has been full of ups and downs, and mostly downs. I'm not sure how much longer I'll last.

[Anonymous]

Met DH at 25. Married 28. Both same age. 3 kids by 33. Just turned 44. Hard years were 3 kids under 5. It's super busy but overall great. We have good jobs that pays well and make financial decisions together so I'm sure that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married in your 20s and have been married--to the same person--for at least ten years, how's it going? What's good, not so good? Would you do it again, knowing what you know now?

Marrying in your 20's is the norm. Why would this be something to ask about? It's like asking "Driving at 16, How'd that work out?"

[Anonymous]

Married at 24, still going strong 13 years and 2 kids later!

It's been fantastic. He's my best friend, an amazing father, and we still have a great sex life. I realize I got so so so lucky because what I would have been looking for at, say, 34, wasn't a thought in my mind at 24. I didn't even know to think about those things, that's how clueless I was! lol. We were able to grow together though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We met at 25, married at 28, and had kids at 35. We're now 46. Life has its ups and downs but overall, it has been pretty good. I love that we had so many years together pre-kids. I think that gave us a strong foundation for life post kids. I wouldn't change a thing.

You did not marry young. Plus you had kids at 35? Again, not a definition of marrying young or having kids young, even here.

What? I got married at 24 and when I tell people that, they act all scandalized like I was practically a child bride. I had just graduated with my master's degree!

Actually what people really raise an eyebrow to is that I had my first kid at 26 and my third at 30. I'm 37 now and I looooove this stage of life. Reason being, we have way more money now than we did in our 20s so we actually get to enjoy it. So glad to be done with babies and toddlers.