Married in your 20s? How's that worked out?

[Anonymous]

For those of you who married in your 20s and have been married--to the same person--for at least ten years,
ExH here- Married at 19 to escape a toxic home life. Virgin on the wedding night. Married 27 years, divorced when youngest reached 18.
Absolute worst mistake of my life. We were fundamentally different in every way.

[Anonymous]

Met at 22, married at 25, child at 32. We are over 40 now and I wouldn't change a thing. I don't know how we got it right but I think a lot might be dumb luck. Also, not struggling to make it work when it didn't. Most of my friends who are divorced had rocky relationships with their ex-spouse even while they were dating each other. Don't get married if you aren't sure, no matter what age you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married in your 20s and have been married--to the same person--for at least ten years,
ExH here- Married at 19 to escape a toxic home life. Virgin on the wedding night. Married 27 years, divorced when youngest reached 18.
Absolute worst mistake of my life. We were fundamentally different in every way.

Ehhh. Not all of us had toxic home lives! Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married in your 20s and have been married--to the same person--for at least ten years,
ExH here- Married at 19 to escape a toxic home life. Virgin on the wedding night. Married 27 years, divorced when youngest reached 18.
Absolute worst mistake of my life. We were fundamentally different in every way.

I came from an incredibly toxic home life and didn’t marry till I was 33. I escaped by getting as physically far from my family as I possibly could.

[Anonymous]

Married at 23, two babies by 27. We've been married twelve years. Definitely some Rocky points due to immaturity, but I'm so glad we stuck it out. I really like being 10-15 years younger than my friends who have kids the same ages as ours. Both kids out of the house by the time we're 47, and we've saved enough that we could retire at that point too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married at 23, two babies by 27. We've been married twelve years. Definitely some Rocky points due to immaturity, but I'm so glad we stuck it out. I really like being 10-15 years younger than my friends who have kids the same ages as ours. Both kids out of the house by the time we're 47, and we've saved enough that we could retire at that point too.

+1!!

[Anonymous]

Married at 23 (DH was 27). Happily married for 20 years. Financially stable. Great kids. Fun family life. Wouldn't change a thing.

My two cents, fwiw: people can generally be categorized in two buckets - those who crave monogamy, and those who crave variety and freedom. If you crave monogamy, find a partner who wants the same thing.

[Anonymous]

30+ years. We pretty much agree on everything. Have a good life with just enough money and a lot of free time spent exclusively together. Key was in having one child after a lot of years together.

[Anonymous]

Married at 22/23. Married for 5 years. We enjoy growing together and moving to and exploring new cities. No kids yet, we plan to wait until early thirties when I’m done with medical school. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like to have kids earlier but we want to be financially ready and with our degrees in hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My divorce was final on my 10th anniversary. Best present ever. That was 17 years ago and I've never looked back.

Did you remarry or stay single? I'm curious about your lessons learned from the divorce.

[Anonymous]

OP here, what a great thread this turned out to be.....thanks to all of you who contributed.......

FWIW, My wife and I married at 19 and 22, respectively, after two years after meeting. We've will have been married 42 years in June, raised three reasonably normal and productive children, and enjoy each other every day.

We are blessed, as so many of you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who married in your 20s and have been married--to the same person--for at least ten years,
ExH here- Married at 19 to escape a toxic home life. Virgin on the wedding night. Married 27 years, divorced when youngest reached 18.
Absolute worst mistake of my life. We were fundamentally different in every way.

I came from an incredibly toxic home life and didn’t marry till I was 33. I escaped by getting as physically far from my family as I possibly could.

When I finally escaped, I never returned. Spoke to my mother briefly on the phone in 2000. Attended my oldest brother's funeral in 2010. No one would speak to me.

[Anonymous]

goodbadboy wrote:Our marriage has been hard at times. We struggled financially especially in our early years. Our lives changed when we had kids, and raising them added strain to our relationship. I never understood what people meant when they said they had to "work" at their marriage, but I get it now. It's about making an effort to go against your nature for someone else. Through perseverance, we have made a happy life together. She and I always had one thing in common. We married for love... and at age 25. I am still uncontrollably attracted to her.

How long have you been married?

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine being married at 20 and be in it for 70+ years. Yes, it has been done, but it's a long d@mn haul.