Wife Goes Silent on Work Travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

You can't make this stuff up. She texted 10 minutes ago and asked me to hug the kids good night. I asked to face time and she said she wouldn't because hotel wall too thin and would wake people.

Or its 10 o’clock pm her time (or later) and it’s true.

No, this makes no sense. Are you not allowed to TALK in your hotel room? I mean, please. She could go to the lobby. She could whisper. What if she had somebody else in her hotel room, would they have to speak in sign language?

Something is off here.

[Anonymous]

I love how the majority assume that because it is a woman she can't possibly be up to anything. They can't even fathom a woman doing wrong.

If this was a man, this would be a very different thread. All the possible nefarious things he could / must be up to would be the focus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

You can't make this stuff up. She texted 10 minutes ago and asked me to hug the kids good night. I asked to face time and she said she wouldn't because hotel wall too thin and would wake people.

Or its 10 o’clock pm her time (or later) and it’s true.

Have you done much overseas travel, OP? Do you understand jet lag and the weirdness that comes in some hotels?

I know you don’t want To hear it, but overseas travel sucks. It sucks the life out of you. It sounds fun until you’ve done it, but then you realize it’s exhasuting and a pain in the ass. You miss your family but can’t summon the energy to be present when you should be. You’ve just spent 24 hours travelling when everyone else has woken up, hand meals, hung out, etc. it sounds glorious to be sitting on a plane with nothing to do, but that’s not the reality. You’ve been working on airport WiFi, trying to make your way through security, eating airport food, and waiting for your flight, crammed amongst the other people. You sat in. A 1’x 1’ square for 12 hours, huddled waiting for your luggage that was late, waited an hour and a half for the wrong rental car, then checked into a hotel with not enough pillows and a weird smell. You had to wake up after not enough sleep and a time change for a meeting with someone you don’t care about, but that your boss wants you to care about, all after eating hotel powdered eggs and watered down coffee. Your body is 9 hours behind, but the world is expecting you to be two hours ahead. The food is weird, you lost your toothbrush and forgot to pack your headphones, and in three days you have to do it all over again, but backwards.

This is a perfect summary of international business travel. The time is not your own, making it very hard to get adjusted and fully functional before you turn around and do it again. Traveling for pleasure allows you many more choices from sleeping in the next day to choosing your own hotel with a better breakfast and amenities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how the majority assume that because it is a woman she can't possibly be up to anything. They can't even fathom a woman doing wrong.

If this was a man, this would be a very different thread. All the possible nefarious things he could / must be up to would be the focus.

My DH travels domestically and still can’t check in at home. Well, he checks in, but that’s it. It’s different when you’re away and on business travel time. You have the best intentions of checking in, until you get dragged into a dinner meeting, or you’re driving 10mijust to get a sub to eat in the hotel room before you crash out after needing to be t the airport for 5am for the flight. You’re trying to unwind but realize you forgot your phone charger so need to ask the front desk, and your boss keeps calling because they know you’re not home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how the majority assume that because it is a woman she can't possibly be up to anything. They can't even fathom a woman doing wrong.

If this was a man, this would be a very different thread. All the possible nefarious things he could / must be up to would be the focus.

Totally agree. There would be 10 "he's cheating!" responses if this was a man doing the travel.

Think of how suspicious the can't do Facetime thing is. Surely she can turn the volume low on her phone and whisper when she's speaking... unless there's something or someone in the room she's trying to hide.

My guess would be an affair with someone she works and travels with, since her travel is to a variety of locations. It would be hard to meet a lover in a variety of places schedule-wise any other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

You can't make this stuff up. She texted 10 minutes ago and asked me to hug the kids good night. I asked to face time and she said she wouldn't because hotel wall too thin and would wake people.

Or its 10 o’clock pm her time (or later) and it’s true.

No, this makes no sense. Are you not allowed to TALK in your hotel room? I mean, please. She could go to the lobby. She could whisper. What if she had somebody else in her hotel room, would they have to speak in sign language?

Something is off here.

Texts are ok, since you can't see that she is dressed as a dominatrix dominating he sub. Facetime would reveal that... she ain't going to chance it that he won't make noise during a call -- even with the gag in, its chancy.

OP - do you ever go on work travel? Do the same back to her.

[Anonymous]

She can't find time to talk over the course of several days? Sorry, that's bullshit. What about while she's showering or getting dressed or eat breakfast, or even taking a dump?! How hard is it to have the phone on speaker for three minutes? Not hard at all !!!

She is most def up to something.

[Anonymous]

Wife here who travels a lot. Sorry but sounds fishy to me. My friends who do secret stuff say to their partners I will be in (region, not specific place) and out of touch for xx,days. If there is an emergency call xx.

Or when I travel I still FaceTime.and talk on phone. Takes3 minutes and wifi. Asia, m
ME, Europe, it's doable. Even if I don't feel up to a long conversation I know spouse would like a check in, so I do.

[Anonymous]

I travel frequently for work. I’m never back in my room by 9pm :/. I have meetings until 5:30/6, everyone goes back to their room to change and drop off heir laptops and such, then the dinner typically starts at 6:30. It’s a looong day and looong night. We always then have breakfast around 7am.

This week, because I was in Seattle and traveling with a lot of clients from the East, we fit in a work meeting at 6am, since we knew that everyone would be up.

I’m always depleted when I come back from client trips.

[Anonymous]

I am an introvert and am not good at calling when I am on trips. I normally work from home and so much people time leaves me drained and to the point I simply can’t stand to talk to another person. I work in an industry filled with unattractive old men and have never been remotely tempted to sleep with any of them.

Luckily DH gets me. He is gone this week and we talk about every other day for 5 minutes. I don’t need more.

[Anonymous]

I can't get over the number of people who think it's not only normal, but acceptable to be out of touch (purely by choice) for days at a time when one parent is home with multiple kids.

My travel days are thankfully behind me but I NEVER ghosted DH while away.I also never cheated on him. That's why I'm thinking something is up.

OP needs to find out if theres one specific guy that comes on all the trips she's quiet on. If there is, I'd bet the farm she's slept with him.

[Anonymous]

I travel a lot for work. I miss my kids a ton, but they’re little and FaceTime is hard on everyone involved. They’re tired at night when I could potentially call. Seeing me tends to upset them more than it comforts them. Seeing them upset and not being able to do anything to help kills me. Trying to get them to stay in the room and chat with me is hard on my husband. Before I call they may have been having a laid back evening, but FaceTime can really get things off track. It sucks. I usually don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Both DH and I travel a lot for work. I do mostly domestic trips (sometimes intl) and he does exclusively intl travel that involves constant client facetime and the expectation that he will be on top of DC as well. Sometimes we are on travel at the same time in opposite ends of the world. I typically have more time on my trips and in-between conference/dinner/drinks I will always call/FaceTime/text- just anything to let him know I am alive and thinking of him. When he travels...it's a different story -- the hours are all wonky and he's been slammed all day - BUT, even in the most remote locations I get a Skype call or an email describing his day. He needs that more than me - I am okay if he doesn't call for a few days as long as I get an "I'm alive" e-mail. Maybe she doesn't need constant communication, but the no FaceTime because of the hotel is weird (both DH and I have stayed in crappy places -- it's never *that* bad).

[Anonymous]

OP here.

They always stay in Hiltons overseas. It's part of the contract. They all have wifi. They don't share rooms. I see zero reason why she can't spend 3 minutes at the end of the day saying hello, I'm safe, tell the kids I love them.

Reading the responses has me depressed. I just needed a gut check to see if my concerns were legit. I'm gonna have a long talk when she gets home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

They always stay in Hiltons overseas. It's part of the contract. They all have wifi. They don't share rooms. I see zero reason why she can't spend 3 minutes at the end of the day saying hello, I'm safe, tell the kids I love them.

Reading the responses has me depressed. I just needed a gut check to see if my concerns were legit. I'm gonna have a long talk when she gets home.

Can't Facetime in the Hilton because of people in other rooms? Seems unlikely.