Horrible Marriage Counselors

[Anonymous]

My husband and I went years ago when we could not agree on whether to have a baby (he had said he wanted to, but then changed his mind after we got married). The guy was horrible - he actually spent half of a session talking about other clients he was attracted to.
The bright side is, DH and I are still married and have a 10 year old daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. A friend's marriage counselor stole her husband. The counselor and ex-DH eventually married.

2. My marriage counselor took my DW's side and then banged her. I'm divorced now.

These are offenses that should be reported to the licensing board. They are major ethical lapses that could and should result in the revocation of the license.

[Anonymous]

Add to the list of terrible marriage counselors -- a middle-aged couple who have dual home-offices in their basement in Bethesda. My ex and I went to them when I discovered he had cheated on me. At the time I thought it was just one woman, we already had a child together and I thought couples counseling might help us stay together for the sake of the child.

The male doctor missed a mood disorder diagnosis, instead labeling hypersexuality of mania as sex addiction. In retrospect, I feel kind of sad for my ex, because there was no hope that going to SA meetings (as suggested by the psychologist) was going to cure his hypomania. He needed appropriate medication.

In my sessions with the female doctor, she focused on why we didn't wear rings (long but reasonable story why) and suggested that maybe my ex would be more faithful if we wore rings.

During the counseling, I found something that was fairly solid evidence of a 2nd, current affair, and the female counselor tried to get me to come up with alternative non-affair related reasons for my evidence (there was really no plausible alternative explanation). The self-delusion she seemed to want to stoke was stunning!

Obviously counseling didn't work. Better counselors would have identified the bipolar depression, encouraged my ex to get on medication, and only after being stabilized on medication worked on couples issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couples in counseling should be honestly and sincerely interested in how they got into the situation they are in. If they are looking for individual validation or revenge then it's a waste of time. The inability of (mostly women) to own responsibility for whatever failures they brought to the situation hinders true companionship.

Nah, too easy to be the bitter wife (or even better, ex-wife) for the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

I like our marriage counselor. We both do.

She's in Silver Spring. Mary "Nicky" Drotleff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like our marriage counselor. We both do.

She's in Silver Spring. Mary "Nicky" Drotleff.

Hi Nicky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like our marriage counselor. We both do.

She's in Silver Spring. Mary "Nicky" Drotleff.

Hi Nicky.

Not her. We started with her in September.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couples in counseling should be honestly and sincerely interested in how they got into the situation they are in. If they are looking for individual validation or revenge then it's a waste of time. The inability of (mostly women) to own responsibility for whatever failures they brought to the situation hinders true companionship.

Nah, too easy to be the bitter wife (or even better, ex-wife) for the rest of their lives.

God, but I wish the MRA crowd hadn’t discovered DCUM.

It always the woman’s fault. Men are perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Add to the list of terrible marriage counselors -- a middle-aged couple who have dual home-offices in their basement in Bethesda. My ex and I went to them when I discovered he had cheated on me. At the time I thought it was just one woman, we already had a child together and I thought couples counseling might help us stay together for the sake of the child.

The male doctor missed a mood disorder diagnosis, instead labeling hypersexuality of mania as sex addiction. In retrospect, I feel kind of sad for my ex, because there was no hope that going to SA meetings (as suggested by the psychologist) was going to cure his hypomania. He needed appropriate medication.

In my sessions with the female doctor, she focused on why we didn't wear rings (long but reasonable story why) and suggested that maybe my ex would be more faithful if we wore rings.

During the counseling, I found something that was fairly solid evidence of a 2nd, current affair, and the female counselor tried to get me to come up with alternative non-affair related reasons for my evidence (there was really no plausible alternative explanation). The self-delusion she seemed to want to stoke was stunning!

Obviously counseling didn't work. Better counselors would have identified the bipolar depression, encouraged my ex to get on medication, and only after being stabilized on medication worked on couples issues.

My ex has delusional disorder of the persecutory type. When we met with a therapist she said that we were living in two separate relaties and suggested that we work on living in the same reality. I wish she instead had said that my ex has a mental thought disorder, it would have helped me with my approach to my marriage. Oh well I figured it out on my own eventually.

[Anonymous]

NP - I credit our marriage counselor with saving our marriage. At least partly. They're not all bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were looking for someone to tell your wife not to cheat, you went to the wrong place. Your wife had to make that choice herself. Therapists don't judge (outwardly) and they don't tell people what to do. The goal of therapy is to identify the problems in your marriage and help you solve them.

Incorrect. The goal in therapy is to milk the client and their insurer as much as possible.

As for shitty ones, well, I won't name her but she's ancient and in Old Town and everyone knows her. She blamed me for my wife's affair and had the gaul to send me harassing texts for not continuing to use her services after I explained that I had no intention of listening to someone blame me for my wife sucking her coworker's cock. I point blank asked to condemn infidelity and she sat there, silent, with a smirk on her face staring me right in the eye.

OMG! Are you my double! But my therapist was in Bethesda. We sat there and my now ex wife detailed all these mostly made up negative things about me and lied. In the meantime she got a burner phone to keep up an affair that involved mostly her mouth her co worker and his cock!

Therapist was terrible and was convinced by my ex wife’s gaslighting. She couldn’t see it was typical lies of a cheater.

[Anonymous]

The irony about therapists refusing to condemn cheating women is you know theyd have zero qualms condemning men hitting their wives.

Women are victims no matter the situation.

[Anonymous]

We paid thousands of dollars to our therapist in DC last year. At one point, we were going every single week.

We stopped going months ago, and our marriage is really not any worse off. I’m not sure the therapy had any lasting positive effects at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The irony about therapists refusing to condemn cheating women is you know theyd have zero qualms condemning men hitting their wives.

Women are victims no matter the situation.

You’re an idiot. Men hitting their wives is in no way morally ambiguous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The irony about therapists refusing to condemn cheating women is you know theyd have zero qualms condemning men hitting their wives.

Women are victims no matter the situation.

You’re an idiot. Men hitting their wives is in no way morally ambiguous.

But being a lying, cheating slut is? Got it!