Shocked at how little the parents are donating to the holiday bonus for the teachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are generous. And crazy. Seriously.
$20 per teacher is great.
-teacher

+1 My kids went to a private school popular with high income families and we gave about 20$/teacher. And once my husband and I both accidentally donated (not realizing that the other had already given), and the class parent was happy that our class had 100% donations (i.e. there was 1 family that didn't donate at all, and our double contribution subsidized them). You're nuts expecting a lot more, when you didn't give guidance on requested amount, for a daycare where people are spending $1K/month (i.e. not a fancy daycare.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


+1. I was in charge of one of these end-of-year gift baskets. We asked $10 of each family. Only four or five sent anything. So we retaliated by putting the names of the families who had actually paid on the gift basket (there were 16 or so in the class). OP you are asking too much on top of tuition.

That’s a really crappy thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Meh. To each his own. It’s why our nanny is now a nanny and was a preschool teacher. She makes more as a nanny for one child and gets a one week bonus in cash. Which is more than we spend on our whole family’s holiday presents/decorations. We budgeted for the bonus when we hired her. And we make less than $250k hhi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

That's for nannies and small in-home daycares. This is not standard for daycare centers or private preschools and certainly not for elementary schools and higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

That's for nannies and small in-home daycares. This is not standard for daycare centers or private preschools and certainly not for elementary schools and higher.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't do the group gift because a lot of slackers don't give anything or only give $5 and I want to give my daycare teacher $200. I want her to know that my family appreciates her and how much it means to us that she cares for our baby. I'm not donating to a group gift at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

[Anonymous]

My son's preschool has 4 teachers (2 in the classroom, and 2 for aftercare). I am giving each a $15 gift card and a small edible gift. It's a token thank you, not a holiday bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

This is "normal" only if you are affluent or you like adhering to arbitrary rules. My husband did not spend 3 months of salary on my engagement ring, he spent what he could afford and he still ended up taking out a zero interest credit card and paying it off over the course of a year. Similarly, we are not going to spend a week of tuition money on our daughter's caregivers. For us that would be an extra $500 at a time of year when we are already stretched thin between family gifts for the holidays and expensive cross country flights. We will be giving each of DD's 5 caregivers at her home day care $40 or $50 each, and that's still a sacrifice for us. Yes, we value our caregivers. Yes, we understand that they are underpaid and wish it weren't so. Yes, we make over $100K. However we also do not own a home, do not have inherited family money, have had major medical bills this year, and have spent the last decade paying down over $100K of combined student loans, saving for a down payment for a home, and paying for our wedding.

OP and PP, you need to read up a little bit about privilege and understand that people give what they can afford.

[Anonymous]

It's a gift, not a "bonus". If I were to give $100+, i would do it individually not to the group gift. I don't think the room parent should be in charge of that much money for starters with no accountability and they may buy a gift card for something i'd prefer not to. $20 in on par for a group gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't do the group gift because a lot of slackers don't give anything or only give $5 and I want to give my daycare teacher $200. I want her to know that my family appreciates her and how much it means to us that she cares for our baby. I'm not donating to a group gift at all.

This is us too (well except we are giving $100). I'm not a fan of the group gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

This is "normal" only if you are affluent or you like adhering to arbitrary rules. My husband did not spend 3 months of salary on my engagement ring, he spent what he could afford and he still ended up taking out a zero interest credit card and paying it off over the course of a year. Similarly, we are not going to spend a week of tuition money on our daughter's caregivers. For us that would be an extra $500 at a time of year when we are already stretched thin between family gifts for the holidays and expensive cross country flights. We will be giving each of DD's 5 caregivers at her home day care $40 or $50 each, and that's still a sacrifice for us. Yes, we value our caregivers. Yes, we understand that they are underpaid and wish it weren't so. Yes, we make over $100K. However we also do not own a home, do not have inherited family money, have had major medical bills this year, and have spent the last decade paying down over $100K of combined student loans, saving for a down payment for a home, and paying for our wedding.

OP and PP, you need to read up a little bit about privilege and understand that people give what they can afford.

I meant one week's salary is normal for a daycare bonus. I am not privileged, but I know how hard they work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

This is "normal" only if you are affluent or you like adhering to arbitrary rules. My husband did not spend 3 months of salary on my engagement ring, he spent what he could afford and he still ended up taking out a zero interest credit card and paying it off over the course of a year. Similarly, we are not going to spend a week of tuition money on our daughter's caregivers. For us that would be an extra $500 at a time of year when we are already stretched thin between family gifts for the holidays and expensive cross country flights. We will be giving each of DD's 5 caregivers at her home day care $40 or $50 each, and that's still a sacrifice for us. Yes, we value our caregivers. Yes, we understand that they are underpaid and wish it weren't so. Yes, we make over $100K. However we also do not own a home, do not have inherited family money, have had major medical bills this year, and have spent the last decade paying down over $100K of combined student loans, saving for a down payment for a home, and paying for our wedding.

OP and PP, you need to read up a little bit about privilege and understand that people give what they can afford.

I meant one week's salary is normal for a daycare bonus. I am not privileged, but I know how hard they work.

The use of the word "normal" is not appropriate here, PP. Perhaps among some groups this is considered a social expectation or norm, but that does not obligate people to adhere to it. Every family is different and every situation is different. Gratitude can be expressed in ways other than monetarily. It is rude to suggest that a family's inability to pay an extra week's salary during the holidays to their child's teachers implies their lack of awareness or gratitude for how hard the teachers work. And if you are not privileged, what exactly is your definition of privilege? I can't afford a week's salary for my kid's teachers but I certainly recognize the privilege I have in my life that many others don't have.

[Anonymous]

I can't keep track of which teachers are in my son's class room (there are mostly steady main ones but the others rotate depending on ratios there and in the baby room). I just make a $75 donation to the whole center (which is a non-profit) because I can't afford a gift for all of them and I don't want to inadvertently leave anyone out.