Shocked at how little the parents are donating to the holiday bonus for the teachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare is a major budget line item. People aren't going to go into debt to give gifts to providers whom they pay to watch their kids. You might want to consider something besides a cash gift if the amount is so low.

For the years when we had a nanny, her gift was by far the most expensive out of anyone we bought gifts for. She's taking care of your most treasured child!

+10000

[Anonymous]

I'd give more but I wouldn't give it via a group gift. $20 per teacher sounds right for that. After years of experience with kids in school I've had some bad experiences with group gifts--money that seems to disappear or is used for things that seem like a waste (like overpriced items sold by a friend of the roomparent, that sort of thing). I think as a class parent it is best to specify a maximum suggested donation, keeping in mind people's diverse financial states, and explain exactly how you will use the $. Then, after you give it, I always appreciate a follow-up email that confirms what the gift was and that it was given to Mrs. X so I know it happened.

At a swanky expensive preschool we attended, the holiday policy was that each family was supposed to donate $20 per teacher that was pooled and given as a Visa gift card, and that no other gifts should be given. FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Is this for real? You sent the email LAST NIGHT. Not even 24 hours have passed.

It takes people time to get around to these things, because people are very busy, especially this time of year. You needed to give everyone a head's up, and then at least one week (preferably two weeks) to make a donation. The world doesn't work on your schedule, OP.

[Anonymous]

I think your expectations are right on point.

Unfortunately, we don't do pooled gifts at my center, but this year I'm giving my son's lead teacher $100, and the assistant $50. I'm giving other teachers who he spends a lot of time with $25 each.

This is personally from my budget. Daycare workers are woefully underpaid, and I can't believe folks aren't more generous. They take great care of our children all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always give a low amount to the group gift and give my own gift separately.

+1

Our daycare doesn't do a group gift (as far as I can tell). But if they did I would give a small amount to that and give much larger individual gifts to DC's teachers because I'd rather see the bulk of my gifts go directly to the people who work directly with my kid than be pooled among two dozen teachers who have never met my kid. (I'm at a larger center.) OP, you may be seeing some of that effect, too.

I agree with you, OP, as to what people SHOULD give if they can afford it - and I give that much - but it's never okay to make assumptions about other people's finances because you never know what might be going on with them.

I think there's a lot of nuance here, though- I think holiday gifts for early childhood child care should be treated more like a bonus than a gift (the same way that I give the cleaning lady and the dog walker a week's salary at the holidays). That kind of money is way more than I spend on gifts for my family and friends, but it's not really a gift, it's a bonus. It's in the context of a business relationship. I would never recommend giving a $100 gift to a K-12 teacher, though- for that kind of relationship a token gift is more appropriate. But for the ladies spending all day with my baby and changing a million diapers a day and heating up bottles and teaching DC to walk, I think that's a totally different, much more personal, relationship. I think it's clear, though, that a lot of people probably don't share my philosophy on that and that's okay. And yes, I also wish child care salaries were much, much higher than they are (and I do advocate for that and send my child to a center that pays above market - but come on, they still make peanuts).

[Anonymous]

You are generous. And crazy. Seriously.
$20 per teacher is great.
-teacher

[Anonymous]

It's a gift - a token - not a bonus. I'm not in charge of giving them a bonus. That's their employer's job. I give a token to express my appreciation! And who are you to judge what everyone can or cannot afford! Awesome for you if you can give everyone in your life 100.00 bucks for doing their jobs. Most people can't. To whom much is given, much is expected - just follow that adage around the holidays. Geez.

[Anonymous]

I'm giving $100 to the pool for the whole school and then giving each of our teachers (4 total) $50 each plus a small present. I don't understand the point of the pool honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd give more but I wouldn't give it via a group gift. $20 per teacher sounds right for that. After years of experience with kids in school I've had some bad experiences with group gifts--money that seems to disappear or is used for things that seem like a waste (like overpriced items sold by a friend of the roomparent, that sort of thing).

I agree with this. I am always really hesitant to give to group gifts b/c of this. I would never contribute 100 per teacher per kid to a group gift- that is insane. I might give 5 towards the group, and 50 individually.
Group gifts can become insanely expensive bottles of handcream- etc- which the teacher doesn't really want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got the note from daycare suggesting a $70 TOTAL min donation from each family, more if you have multiple children. I think expecting $100 per teacher is way out of line.

I would laugh and throw that in the bin. No donation from me.

+1. I was in charge of one of these end-of-year gift baskets. We asked $10 of each family. Only four or five sent anything. So we retaliated by putting the names of the families who had actually paid on the gift basket (there were 16 or so in the class). OP you are asking too much on top of tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare is a major budget line item. People aren't going to go into debt to give gifts to providers whom they pay to watch their kids. You might want to consider something besides a cash gift if the amount is so low.

+1

Also, don't make assumptions about what people can and cannot afford, based on your assessment. You don't know, and it's none of your business anyway.

[Anonymous]

$20 per teacher per kid sounds right on target. I personally don't like giving pooled gifts and would rather give a gift card individually so I would not give more than that towards a pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're expecting each family to contribute $100? So assuming 15 kids in the class you'd distribute $15,000 in holiday gifts? That is crazy. $20 per family per teacher sounds completely reasonable to me.

Lol. Math fail. Maybe you should try that again. $100 x 15 =/= $15,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. ok well that's why I asked! I do appreciate all of the responses, even the snarky ones

I guess I just feel so guilty that the teachers make so little (like 30K a year) and know that they must rely on the extra money from babysitting, etc. just to stay afloat. I give all of the people that help us (our after school babysitter, house cleaner, lawn guy, etc.) $100 during this time of year.

Don't discount that many people like to give teachers their own gifts instead of or in addition to a group gift. We do. Many people do.

[Anonymous]

wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?