Shocked at how little the parents are donating to the holiday bonus for the teachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

This is "normal" only if you are affluent or you like adhering to arbitrary rules. My husband did not spend 3 months of salary on my engagement ring, he spent what he could afford and he still ended up taking out a zero interest credit card and paying it off over the course of a year. Similarly, we are not going to spend a week of tuition money on our daughter's caregivers. For us that would be an extra $500 at a time of year when we are already stretched thin between family gifts for the holidays and expensive cross country flights. We will be giving each of DD's 5 caregivers at her home day care $40 or $50 each, and that's still a sacrifice for us. Yes, we value our caregivers. Yes, we understand that they are underpaid and wish it weren't so. Yes, we make over $100K. However we also do not own a home, do not have inherited family money, have had major medical bills this year, and have spent the last decade paying down over $100K of combined student loans, saving for a down payment for a home, and paying for our wedding.

OP and PP, you need to read up a little bit about privilege and understand that people give what they can afford.

I meant one week's salary is normal for a daycare bonus. I am not privileged, but I know how hard they work.

Yea, I don't have an extra $450 bucks lying around...

[Anonymous]

$20 per teacher seems fine. That's about what I gave when my kid was in daycare. That's really what I could afford. If someone else has more money to give, great.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that just because a home is currently valued at 1mil+ does not mean the people living in it have the income to purchase a million dollar home. Many of my friends live in homes that are worth double, triple, or more than what they (or their parents, if they inherited the house) paid. That home equity is for retirement; no one is taking a home equity loan to impress a room mom with their teacher gift donation. You have no idea what people's real budgets actually are, and you certainly cannot ascertain it from the value of their homes.

[Anonymous]

$20/teacher was the norm at the daycare center we used, too. Seems totally reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

My preschool (in a fairly wealthy area) encourages parents to donate $10-20 towards a group holiday gift. Most parents donate $20. The only thing I find cheap about that is the parents who donate $20 even if they have two kids in two different classrooms.

But also, we donate $20 to the group gift and then give $25/each to the two teachers separately as a personal gift. I bet a lot of the other parents at your daycare do that.

[Anonymous]

I just donated $20 to my kid's teacher gift pool. Kiss my butt OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare is a major budget line item. People aren't going to go into debt to give gifts to providers whom they pay to watch their kids. You might want to consider something besides a cash gift if the amount is so low.

OP here. I should add that the daycare is actually really reasonable because it is subsidized by the university. It's $1050 a month, so we aren't talking about a $2500 a month per kid place.

Assuming that the parents are students or professors or work at the school, even if its more affordable, doesn't mean everyone can afford it or a lot. $20 per staff is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. OP, are people giving so little that your TOTAL pot is $40? That's pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I’m pretty appalled at how cheap people are on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Many employers have gift limits around $20 including local schools, so it is a common amount to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

This is "normal" only if you are affluent or you like adhering to arbitrary rules. My husband did not spend 3 months of salary on my engagement ring, he spent what he could afford and he still ended up taking out a zero interest credit card and paying it off over the course of a year. Similarly, we are not going to spend a week of tuition money on our daughter's caregivers. For us that would be an extra $500 at a time of year when we are already stretched thin between family gifts for the holidays and expensive cross country flights. We will be giving each of DD's 5 caregivers at her home day care $40 or $50 each, and that's still a sacrifice for us. Yes, we value our caregivers. Yes, we understand that they are underpaid and wish it weren't so. Yes, we make over $100K. However we also do not own a home, do not have inherited family money, have had major medical bills this year, and have spent the last decade paying down over $100K of combined student loans, saving for a down payment for a home, and paying for our wedding.

OP and PP, you need to read up a little bit about privilege and understand that people give what they can afford.

I meant one week's salary is normal for a daycare bonus. I am not privileged, but I know how hard they work.

Even if I agreed with you that should be the standard, I have no idea what the weekly salary of my daycare teachers is. Parents aren't privy to this, just as customers of most businesses don't know what the employees make.

[Anonymous]

I always gave more for daycare - about $50-75 per teacher in my kid's room and if there was a pool for all the other teachers (non-room specific), I also gave to that. I figure if I make about $60 an hour, I can give out half a day's pay to people who are making about $10-$15 an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I thought the standard was 1 week tuition, to be split evenly across the teachers?

BWAH HAHAHA. This is a joke, right? Like the man is supposed to spend 3 months of his salary on the engagement ring?

Not a joke. That's normal.

This is "normal" only if you are affluent or you like adhering to arbitrary rules. My husband did not spend 3 months of salary on my engagement ring, he spent what he could afford and he still ended up taking out a zero interest credit card and paying it off over the course of a year. Similarly, we are not going to spend a week of tuition money on our daughter's caregivers. For us that would be an extra $500 at a time of year when we are already stretched thin between family gifts for the holidays and expensive cross country flights. We will be giving each of DD's 5 caregivers at her home day care $40 or $50 each, and that's still a sacrifice for us. Yes, we value our caregivers. Yes, we understand that they are underpaid and wish it weren't so. Yes, we make over $100K. However we also do not own a home, do not have inherited family money, have had major medical bills this year, and have spent the last decade paying down over $100K of combined student loans, saving for a down payment for a home, and paying for our wedding.

OP and PP, you need to read up a little bit about privilege and understand that people give what they can afford.

I meant one week's salary is normal for a daycare bonus. I am not privileged, but I know how hard they work.

Even if I agreed with you that should be the standard, I have no idea what the weekly salary of my daycare teachers is. Parents aren't privy to this, just as customers of most businesses don't know what the employees make.

+1 OP is confusing the standard for nannies with daycare teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I live in Bethesda and contributed to the school gift. I gave ten teachers $10 each, and some years when my husband was out of job, $5.

I don't spend $100 on gifts for my own family and friends, OP.
A teacher's gift should be a small token of appreciation, not a huge bonus.
I do not plan on giving the elementary and middle school teachers any gifts this year, because at that level my children and I only do this when they go above and beyond.

I can't relate to you at all.

[phone].
I made little kits that I budgeted it for. I barely put away savings a month, I can't also give them $100 each.

[Anonymous]

You're nuts.