Will having a spouse who is bad in bed eventually kill your libido?

[Anonymous]

This is why some women turn lesbian - men who are bad in bed drive them to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Why did this relationship ever get past the 3rd date? You are now to blame, because you knowingly married a man who is (take your pick) lazy/bad in bed/no rhythm/no stamina. The failed marriage is now your fault. After the divorce, please learn your lesson and do not stay involved with somebody who is "bad in bed". This is just as dumb as me dating a fat girl, marrying her, then complaining that she isn't attractive. Well DUH, whose fault is that?

Well he makes a lot of money.

Ok then hold up your end of this marriage "contract" that you willingly signed up for, and stop complaining about it.
He brings home the money, you pretend he's not bad in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Why did this relationship ever get past the 3rd date? You are now to blame, because you knowingly married a man who is (take your pick) lazy/bad in bed/no rhythm/no stamina. The failed marriage is now your fault. After the divorce, please learn your lesson and do not stay involved with somebody who is "bad in bed". This is just as dumb as me dating a fat girl, marrying her, then complaining that she isn't attractive. Well DUH, whose fault is that?

My marriage isn't failed and I have no intent to divorce. People marry for different reasons. There is very little point in pretending that your husband is good in everything - you wouldn't lie that he has great hair if he's bald, would you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Why did this relationship ever get past the 3rd date? You are now to blame, because you knowingly married a man who is (take your pick) lazy/bad in bed/no rhythm/no stamina. The failed marriage is now your fault. After the divorce, please learn your lesson and do not stay involved with somebody who is "bad in bed". This is just as dumb as me dating a fat girl, marrying her, then complaining that she isn't attractive. Well DUH, whose fault is that?

Well he makes a lot of money.

Ok then hold up your end of this marriage "contract" that you willingly signed up for, and stop complaining about it.
He brings home the money, you pretend he's not bad in bed.

Who made you in charge of what people are allowed to complain about? Quite big for your breeches you're getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He deserves blame for being "bad in bed" but that is pretty easy for a woman to deal with: you end the relationship after the third date. Any woman who goes ahead and MARRIES some dude who is "bad in bed" is now herself to blame for the failed marriage. You can't complain about him being exactly what he advertised himself to be (bad in bed). That's who you picked as a spouse. Now deal.

I don't know where you come out with this idea that "bad in bed" equals "failed marriage". Millions of people are bad in bed and married. Millions of people successfully separate sex and marriage. You are confusing marriage with a license to sexual gratification.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry ladies; I’m sure another woman is making his d1ck hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Sounds to me like you've made zero effort to teach him. You just assume he has no interest in learning and you assume you know what he "secretly" thinks. You don't know jack, but you're using that as an excuse because you're not teaching him what you like. Admittedly, teaching someone what you like in bed is tough - you have to get past your own inhibitions. But quite frankly, it sounds like you're too inhibited, too nonconfrontational, too lazy, too something to do anything to improve your situation. Quit whining and try to fix it.

Most husbands would LOVE to be taught to be better in bed. It's a huge turn on for men to be able to get their partners off. But they don't know naturally how your body works or what gets you off. You have to teach.

I guarantee you that just about every really good lover you've had got that way by learning from someone. Very few just luck into those skills. Some may be perceptive enough to learn by trial and error over a long time. But if you want your husband to get better, you need to have a lot of sex with him and tell him what feels good.

[Anonymous]

I've dated guys who weren't good in bed, and it made me not want to sleep with them very often. I think that would be a killer for a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Sounds to me like you've made zero effort to teach him. You just assume he has no interest in learning and you assume you know what he "secretly" thinks. You don't know jack, but you're using that as an excuse because you're not teaching him what you like. Admittedly, teaching someone what you like in bed is tough - you have to get past your own inhibitions. But quite frankly, it sounds like you're too inhibited, too nonconfrontational, too lazy, too something to do anything to improve your situation. Quit whining and try to fix it.

Most husbands would LOVE to be taught to be better in bed. It's a huge turn on for men to be able to get their partners off. But they don't know naturally how your body works or what gets you off. You have to teach.

I guarantee you that just about every really good lover you've had got that way by learning from someone. Very few just luck into those skills. Some may be perceptive enough to learn by trial and error over a long time. But if you want your husband to get better, you need to have a lot of sex with him and tell him what feels good.

I know my husband better than you do, so believe me that he has no interest in, for instance, learning to give good oral. I know that because he told me that. He just doesn't like it. Case closed. It's hard to teach someone to be good at something they don't enjoy.

Yes, men love to feel they are getting their partner off but not all men are willing to put in the effort.

I'll quit whining when I'm good ready, and when you feel like telling others what to do, I suggest you turn to your own husband or children, they ought to be more receptive than internet strangers.

Too many men labor under a false assumption that women must come from the very same thing they do.

[Anonymous]

I know my husband better than you do, so believe me that he has no interest in, for instance, learning to give good oral. I know that because he told me that. He just doesn't like it. Case closed. It's hard to teach someone to be good at something they don't enjoy.

Yes, men love to feel they are getting their partner off but not all men are willing to put in the effort.

I'll quit whining when I'm good ready, and when you feel like telling others what to do, I suggest you turn to your own husband or children, they ought to be more receptive than internet strangers.

Too many men labor under a false assumption that women must come from the very same thing they do.

You obviously prefer a good bout of complaining and whining more than you enjoy good sex, because you're putting more effort into complaining than into to improving your sex life. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I know my husband better than you do, so believe me that he has no interest in, for instance, learning to give good oral. I know that because he told me that. He just doesn't like it. Case closed. It's hard to teach someone to be good at something they don't enjoy.

Yes, men love to feel they are getting their partner off but not all men are willing to put in the effort.

I'll quit whining when I'm good ready, and when you feel like telling others what to do, I suggest you turn to your own husband or children, they ought to be more receptive than internet strangers.

Too many men labor under a false assumption that women must come from the very same thing they do.

You obviously prefer a good bout of complaining and whining more than you enjoy good sex, because you're putting more effort into complaining than into to improving your sex life. Good luck with that.

This is a thread specifically asking if a partner who's bad in bed will kill your libido. I am answering questions as asked. Typing things online takes like 7 calories, it's very little effort, believe me. I am not sure why you feel so hostile to the idea that a woman somewhere finds her husband lacking in bed. It's like you're taking this as a personal offense. It has nothing to do with you, you know.

[Anonymous]

My husbands amazing in bed, but I don't just lay there. I am an active participant in getting myself off. This speed, right here, I've got a hand in the action too.

[Anonymous]

It's both, of course. There are men who are lazy and selfish. There are women who are too embarrassed about sex to really identify what they like and then speak up to communicate what they like to their spouse. Either one of those in a marriage, and the sex is probably going to be bad. Have both of those in a marriage, and it's probably a special kind of awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My STBXH was technically fantastic. He was a misogynistic, verbally and emotionally abusive asshole who used coercion to get sex (give in or he'll make life miserable). When I could stand to let him touch me, he was still technically great, however, that didn't stop my skin from crawling at his touch. I think if you are rocking a great relationship, the technical issues can be overcome by communication and adventurousness. Not so much the other way around.

What do you mean by technically fantastic?

Also, was he good before you got married or before you started having issues?

Do you seriously not know what technically fantastic is? You need to watch some porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Sounds to me like you've made zero effort to teach him. You just assume he has no interest in learning and you assume you know what he "secretly" thinks. You don't know jack, but you're using that as an excuse because you're not teaching him what you like. Admittedly, teaching someone what you like in bed is tough - you have to get past your own inhibitions. But quite frankly, it sounds like you're too inhibited, too nonconfrontational, too lazy, too something to do anything to improve your situation. Quit whining and try to fix it.

Most husbands would LOVE to be taught to be better in bed. It's a huge turn on for men to be able to get their partners off. But they don't know naturally how your body works or what gets you off. You have to teach.

I guarantee you that just about every really good lover you've had got that way by learning from someone. Very few just luck into those skills. Some may be perceptive enough to learn by trial and error over a long time. But if you want your husband to get better, you need to have a lot of sex with him and tell him what feels good.

The best men have been taught by older women in my opinion. You also can't teach a man confidence or how to tease etc...if you have to tell a man to do that then it defeats the purpose.