Will having a spouse who is bad in bed eventually kill your libido?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

You are not "bad at having orgasms"- you can be bad at giving orgasms, and I'm guessing that has struck a nerve for you...

You can absolutely be bad at having orgasms. Get all in your head. Worry about what you look at. Worry about the activities you have planned for tomorrow. Worry that you're taking too long to get off. Think sex is gross or something so you never learn very much about what gets you off.

If you don't think some people get off easier than others, you're just wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife isn't very good in bed, but I'm still the higher libido spouse and her lack of skill hasn't decreased it. So, "no."

Do you get off every time? Right.

It's practically impossible for a woman to be "bad in bed", at least not by the low standards we hold men to.

Rare is a man who gets his wife off every time- and prized all around!

LOL you must be a woman. It’s a common attitude amount women. 90% of women are bad in bed. It is very rare to find a woman who is good in bed.

By that standard 100% of men are bad in bed. Simply because they cant get their partner off at the same rate women can.

It's not his fault you're frigid.

you need to practice honey. it is not that hard to have an orgasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a word: yes, from personal experience. But it does not "kill your libido" generally--its just kills it (over time) toward that particular partner. (I.e. She wants to have sex, just not with you.)

This is me. It has absolutely killed it for her.

[Anonymous]

No. It will piss you off and frustrate you to no end. Dont do it. Life is to short to suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen it posted out here more than a few times - wives complaining about their DH's performance.

How much do you think this has to do with low libido issues?

Are wives with DH's who are superstars in the sack less likely to have low libido?

So now it is his fault that you got fat, unkept, and turned into a cold bitter wife. I’m sure another woman makes him horny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife isn't very good in bed, but I'm still the higher libido spouse and her lack of skill hasn't decreased it. So, "no."

Do you get off every time? Right.

It's practically impossible for a woman to be "bad in bed", at least not by the low standards we hold men to.

Rare is a man who gets his wife off every time- and prized all around!

since I imagine you're a woman, I have to also believe you have no idea what it's like trying to f*ck a starfish, or someone who is quiet as a mouse. believe me, women can be plenty bad in bed, just like men.

you're basically raping her. that's not "bad in bed." it's a lack of true consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men don't expect women to give them orgasms. They just hump away until they get there. That's why men always have them. Women think of orgasms as something that is "given" to them. If they actively ground away on a man, like men do with women, they'd get all the time them too.

They focus on themselves, instead of focusing on their partner. They rank "good sex" as "i got off". Which is why by any standard of "good in bed" women are the better group, since we focus on our partner getting off. Now, if both parties did that, we'd probably be banging a lot more.

Men orgasm because they basically take the active role in sex and work themselves to the point where they reach orgasm. Women don't because they tend to be passive and wait for men to give them an orgasm. If women took over and actively controlled the rhythm of sex and basically used their husband's bodies to get off, like men do with women, they would orgasm more often.

Passivity is why women don't orgasm. No one can "give" you an orgasm. It's something that happens in your own body.

Are you suggesting I tear my husband's tongue out and use it on my clitoris? I think he'd mind it very much. So no, I can't in fact use his body to get off. He has to be willing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen it posted out here more than a few times - wives complaining about their DH's performance.

How much do you think this has to do with low libido issues?

Are wives with DH's who are superstars in the sack less likely to have low libido?

No, they don't kill your libido because you still fantasize and dream of hot sex, and masturbate frequently. But they do kill off any response your body used to feel to their touch because it just doesn't feel good any more.

[Anonymous]

He deserves blame for being "bad in bed" but that is pretty easy for a woman to deal with: you end the relationship after the third date. Any woman who goes ahead and MARRIES some dude who is "bad in bed" is now herself to blame for the failed marriage. You can't complain about him being exactly what he advertised himself to be (bad in bed). That's who you picked as a spouse. Now deal.

[Anonymous]

If the rate of sexual frequency was tied to how good your partner is in bed, men are better in bed. Note gay men have way more sex than lesbians.

It's a libido issue. If you want sex you seek it. If you have a high libido you find ways to get off in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Why did this relationship ever get past the 3rd date? You are now to blame, because you knowingly married a man who is (take your pick) lazy/bad in bed/no rhythm/no stamina. The failed marriage is now your fault. After the divorce, please learn your lesson and do not stay involved with somebody who is "bad in bed". This is just as dumb as me dating a fat girl, marrying her, then complaining that she isn't attractive. Well DUH, whose fault is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this.

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex? If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made.

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him.

Why did this relationship ever get past the 3rd date? You are now to blame, because you knowingly married a man who is (take your pick) lazy/bad in bed/no rhythm/no stamina. The failed marriage is now your fault. After the divorce, please learn your lesson and do not stay involved with somebody who is "bad in bed". This is just as dumb as me dating a fat girl, marrying her, then complaining that she isn't attractive. Well DUH, whose fault is that?

Well he makes a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Wait until he picks up a prescription for Viagra - bad and long lasting. Just when you thought it couldn't be worse.