Will having a spouse who is bad in bed eventually kill your libido?

[Anonymous]

I've seen it posted out here more than a few times - wives complaining about their DH's performance.

How much do you think this has to do with low libido issues?

Are wives with DH's who are superstars in the sack less likely to have low libido?

[Anonymous]

My STBXH was technically fantastic. He was a misogynistic, verbally and emotionally abusive asshole who used coercion to get sex (give in or he'll make life miserable). When I could stand to let him touch me, he was still technically great, however, that didn't stop my skin from crawling at his touch. I think if you are rocking a great relationship, the technical issues can be overcome by communication and adventurousness. Not so much the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My STBXH was technically fantastic. He was a misogynistic, verbally and emotionally abusive asshole who used coercion to get sex (give in or he'll make life miserable). When I could stand to let him touch me, he was still technically great, however, that didn't stop my skin from crawling at his touch. I think if you are rocking a great relationship, the technical issues can be overcome by communication and adventurousness. Not so much the other way around.

What do you mean by technically fantastic?

Also, was he good before you got married or before you started having issues?

[Anonymous]

Yes, definitely. As someone who has a lot of great sex and orgasms every time, when I hear these horror stories of men who are bad in bed and still expect/nag for sex which will leave their DW slightly sweatier and utterly unsatisfied... disgusting as hell. I cant imagine that is a great way to turn yourself off from sex entirely.

[Anonymous]

My wife isn't very good in bed, but I'm still the higher libido spouse and her lack of skill hasn't decreased it. So, "no."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife isn't very good in bed, but I'm still the higher libido spouse and her lack of skill hasn't decreased it. So, "no."

Do you get off every time? Right.

It's practically impossible for a woman to be "bad in bed", at least not by the low standards we hold men to.

Rare is a man who gets his wife off every time- and prized all around!

[Anonymous]

Yes. My husband gets me off every time. If he didn't, I wouldn't be interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife isn't very good in bed, but I'm still the higher libido spouse and her lack of skill hasn't decreased it. So, "no."

Do you get off every time? Right.

It's practically impossible for a woman to be "bad in bed", at least not by the low standards we hold men to.

Rare is a man who gets his wife off every time- and prized all around!

since I imagine you're a woman, I have to also believe you have no idea what it's like trying to f*ck a starfish, or someone who is quiet as a mouse. believe me, women can be plenty bad in bed, just like men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My husband gets me off every time. If he didn't, I wouldn't be interested.

How does your DH get him off every time? My guess is that you are a sexual person with a high libido who is sexually on the same page with your DH and/or you have taught him how to please you, which makes you preceive him, perhaps rightfully so, to be a good lover. But I don't think my low libido DW, who doesn't O from oral or PIV (with anyone), would necessarily think the same thing of your DH, because he's not going to guarantee an O for her. For sure, there are good and bad lovers, but the recipient plays a big role as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My husband gets me off every time. If he didn't, I wouldn't be interested.

How does your DH get him off every time? My guess is that you are a sexual person with a high libido who is sexually on the same page with your DH and/or you have taught him how to please you, which makes you preceive him, perhaps rightfully so, to be a good lover. But I don't think my low libido DW, who doesn't O from oral or PIV (with anyone), would necessarily think the same thing of your DH, because he's not going to guarantee an O for her. For sure, there are good and bad lovers, but the recipient plays a big role as well.

Just use a vibe during doggy with her. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My husband gets me off every time. If he didn't, I wouldn't be interested.

How does your DH get him off every time? My guess is that you are a sexual person with a high libido who is sexually on the same page with your DH and/or you have taught him how to please you, which makes you preceive him, perhaps rightfully so, to be a good lover. But I don't think my low libido DW, who doesn't O from oral or PIV (with anyone), would necessarily think the same thing of your DH, because he's not going to guarantee an O for her. For sure, there are good and bad lovers, but the recipient plays a big role as well.

Nope, he was good in bed when I met him and 100% focused on me getting off, which is I think the most important thing. He's not entitled to sex and wouldn't expect if I wasnt getting off. He's very rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife isn't very good in bed, but I'm still the higher libido spouse and her lack of skill hasn't decreased it. So, "no."

Do you get off every time? Right.

It's practically impossible for a woman to be "bad in bed", at least not by the low standards we hold men to.

Rare is a man who gets his wife off every time- and prized all around!

since I imagine you're a woman, I have to also believe you have no idea what it's like trying to f*ck a starfish, or someone who is quiet as a mouse. believe me, women can be plenty bad in bed, just like men.

But you get off. Which is more than can be said for most women.

So by that high standard, 95% of men are awful in bed.

[Anonymous]

Men don't expect women to give them orgasms. They just hump away until they get there. That's why men always have them. Women think of orgasms as something that is "given" to them. If they actively ground away on a man, like men do with women, they'd get all the time them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen it posted out here more than a few times - wives complaining about their DH's performance.

How much do you think this has to do with low libido issues?

Are wives with DH's who are superstars in the sack less likely to have low libido?

True for me re: both marriages.

XH was so awful, it killed my desire.

DH is so amazing that I can’t get enough.

[Anonymous]

For women, yes.
For men, no.